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Wishes
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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 06:39 AM
  #1
How do you decide what to talk about in session?
I don’t know what I want to talk about next session & part of me is in the mindset of “why bother” I feel like 60mins is just not enough time to work through things. I feel I just get started and then it’s time to finish up.
I wish I could have more time but it’s not possible!
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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 07:14 AM
  #2
Sometimes I write down topics during the week, most times I sit down a bit to think before therapy. Often I just have one topic that really deserves the time, if it's multiple usually it's a lot at once, sometimes there's nothing. If there's multiple, I try to make a priority list, but sometimes I will tell my T that I need to talk about more than one thing so he can manage time. If I don't have anything, usually that upsets me and that's our topic.

Having too much to talk about used to happen more often at the start. I did talk a bunch about worrying that we don't have time or won't cover the topics in the future. Those discussions helped me being more calm if it happens now. I know we will be able to talk it through at some point.
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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 08:54 AM
  #3
I rarely have specific topics, I just go and we take it from there. We're about 10 months in, and we are not half-way done with the main topic/ my most maladaptive issue. When I bring topics, it's mostly dreams I've had.

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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 12:59 PM
  #4
I feel the same way, wishes.
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Default Oct 02, 2022 at 03:12 PM
  #5
Can you ever do a double session? L and I do one about once a month especially if there's something that needs more time. Can you email her between sessions? That's another way I get stuff put there when I don't have time. We don't process the emails until session, but she does respond back with reassurances and acknowledgement.

I go with the flow when it comes to topics. Usually there is something going on in my life currently that requires processing. If not, then L and I have a long list of other topics that I need to deal with. Or I have a long list of questions for her. If I don't feel like processing anything or need a break, we do games, "would you rather" questions, or L just introduced coloring together.

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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 02:25 AM
  #6
I don't know. I seldom have a "big" topic to bring up. I still, after 3-something years, feel silly talking about myself for almost an hour. More and more often I don't want to go to session, or I do cancel. But if I don't go for more than a couple of weeks I start falling apart. I can't get past the feeling that my t is just doing a job and wants to get off work and go home. So if she, for example, suggests that I color I feel like a fool.

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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 06:18 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Can you ever do a double session? L and I do one about once a month especially if there's something that needs more time. Can you email her between sessions? That's another way I get stuff put there when I don't have time. We don't process the emails until session, but she does respond back with reassurances and acknowledgement.

I go with the flow when it comes to topics. Usually there is something going on in my life currently that requires processing. If not, then L and I have a long list of other topics that I need to deal with. Or I have a long list of questions for her. If I don't feel like processing anything or need a break, we do games, "would you rather" questions, or L just introduced coloring together.
Unfortunately I can’t do a double session! I do have contact outside of sessions though which helps, it’s just not the same as being in the room with T though
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Default Oct 03, 2022 at 07:06 AM
  #8
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Originally Posted by Wishes View Post
Unfortunately I can’t do a double session! I do have contact outside of sessions though which helps, it’s just not the same as being in the room with T though
Yes! L and I have a term for the difference between in session and out of session experience. It's the "withness". Oyu can experience the peron with nost of tour senses. You can hear tones and volume of their voice, you can see facial expressions and positioning. You can smell her or even the office. And in my case at least, I can touch her and feel her warmth and movements. And the office is a safe place. You know your surroundings there. It's almost outside of your life.

I don't know if any of that rings true for you. There is a huge difference between being in-person and outside of session.

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to have that full experience outside of session. So you have to be mindful during your session to hold onto the withness. Transitional objects help. And then just learning to cope between sessions using your skills.

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