[Omers]

Hey lovely peeps! I have not been around much lately as life has taken all my energy but I thought that this would be an important/helpful post for many... and I will try to keep it up to date over the next few weeks.

For the last 4ish years I have worked with an amazing T that I absolutely adore. We have gone through lots and lots of trauma old and current, a multitude of ups, downs and all the usual challenges of therapy...

... and now it is time to come to an end.

I am needing the financial resources I have been using on therapy for other health needs and to leave an unhealthy relationship. Awesome T is retiring and spending more and more time away from the office and working fewer and fewer days a week. In 5 weeks awesome T will be heading to warmer weather for the winter and will only be seeing clients virtually... then in March he is following a dream of his and will not have computer access for 2+ months and will not be meeting with clients.
Knowing that awesome T will be going on this great adventure that he is super excited about felt like the right time to bring our work to an end. I will be comforted knowing that he is off doing something he had dreamed of doing all his life as I adjust to not having our time together. We have just 5 in person sessions left. I can then schedule while he is doing virtual sessions and I plan on doing one near Christmas but all of that is up in the air... we have 5 real sessions left. 5 weeks, 5 hours, 5 more hugs...

... and it will be OK. am I grieving? YUP absolutely! But I am grieving therapy more than him (we have agreed that I can keep in touch to some degree and he will reply)... and it will be OK... I am sad... and I will be OK.

I have found a yoga studio I love, I have other options if I need a T or a referral, I have BIG goals to chase.

4 years. Yes we have had a couple of issues and disagreements. No he is not perfect... he almost boasts about tailgating and weaving in traffic two HUGE pet peeves of mine! LOL Joking aside, we have always been able to quickly repair any missteps, and ruptures never got big. I healed a lot, I grew a lot, I felt loved... A LOT. It never replicated my abuse or felt like the torturous drama of so many other crappy T's I had seen before. No, my life isn't perfect. I still have health issues, I am still in a bad marriage. Yesterday was HORRID... broke a finger, found out someone had stolen parts off of my car, discovered the promotion I was counting on wasn't going to happen... I cried a lot, I had the worst day at work, got yelled at by a customer and then let down my favorite manager with a BIG mistake... and I was able to weather it... Today wasn't great, I didn't sleep, but it was better, I got myself up and dusted myself off... and I got through it... without needing T...

There are a lot of bad T's out there, there are a lot of bad T/Client matches, there are a lot of T's doing harm... BUT There are good T's out there, Good T's that make being OK a reality, T's that can help through transitions... especially the biggest, most difficult one... leaving them. Don't settle for pain and a crappy T you are worth more than that!!!

[velcro003]

WOW omers!! This is incredible to hear. My very favorite line was that you know you will be ok, despite this huge loss and all the current stressors in your life. Thank you for this awesome post!

[ScarletPimpernel]

That was powerful to hear your progress. I hope one day I can have such confidence in myself and in L.

I agree, there are bad Ts out there. AND there are good Ts. I assume it's the same in life. I've had both.

[Brown Owl 2]

Thanks for sharing, so great to hear that there are good T’s out there.

[ArtieTheSequal]

Thank you for sharing that, Omers.

[AliceKate]

Yes, thank you. I am hoping for a similarily mature ending with my T when it comes to that. I wish you all the best <3

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs, Omers. I'm sorry you have to be ending with him, but it seems like you're in a really good place with it and that he's really helped you. And I'm glad you'll be able to keep in touch.

I agree on there being good T's out there. Mine has his weaknesses (and has really hurt me on a few occasions), but he's also really come through for me at times and given me what I needed, particularly in the past few years. I think a lot of it is about fit between T and client, too. And a client's needs in terms of a T can change over time, so a T that worked well for them at one point might not be the right option at another time.