Closing therapy sessions

Rive. · Nov 15, 2022 at 12:04 PM

Hi all. Just wanted to see if this happens to you and if so whether you bring it up with your T.

Are you satisfied with how your T closes the sessions?

Specifically, when you have an intense session, does your T go 'okay time's up' and sends you off? If so, how do you feel about it? OR does your T take time to make sure you are grounded before ending (all within the allotted session time, of course)

My endings feel abrupt at times (i.e. when I am already feeling the feels!) and I struggle to reconcile that with T's supposed 'caring'. It is painful to feel dismissed in such instances.

amandalouise · Nov 15, 2022 at 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rive.

Hi all. Just wanted to see if this happens to you and if so whether you bring it up with your T.

Are you satisfied with how your T closes the sessions?

Specifically, when you have an intense session, does your T go 'okay time's up' and sends you off? If so, how do you feel about it? OR does your T take time to make sure you are grounded before ending (all within the allotted session time, of course)

My endings feel abrupt at times (i.e. when I am already feeling the feels!) and I struggle to reconcile that with T's supposed 'caring'. It is painful to feel dismissed in such instances.

maybe you and your therapist can leave some time like 5 or 10 minutes before ending your sessions, during that time my therapist reminds me that we hit the wind down time, we make a note in our notes where we are at, and plan what part of the discussion needs more time for picking up on next time, then we do some breathing / calming exercises. by the time we actually end the session my mind is off the heavy stuff and ready to leave.

LostOnTheTrail · Nov 15, 2022 at 12:41 PM

Hi Rive,

R and I have a closing 'ritual' to how we end our sessions, with breathing and grounding exercises.

If I was distressed at the end of a session, I have complete trust that R would do her best to ensure that I was OK before wrapping up.

The breathing and grounding exercises are a carryover from the period of time we were working remotely, one thing I am glad that we have kept from that time.

It really helps me to know that is how our sessions end, leaving me in a reasonable frame of mind until we can pick up next session.

SlumberKitty · Nov 15, 2022 at 01:35 PM

Yes, I have had abrupt endings before. Not so much with current T because we are on Zoom and I have the clock on the whole time so I can basically know when I need to be done. But sometimes when I hope she will go overtime, because she started late, and doesn't and I'm not quite done with what I am feeling it can feel abrupt. I agree. It is painful to have those abrupt endings. Hopefully T will work to make sure that doesn't happen. Hopefully they are emotionally attuned with us to know. But sometimes they miss the mark. Hugs if wanted, Kit

Rive. · Nov 15, 2022 at 02:39 PM

Thank you LostOnTheTrail - that's a great idea re grounding exercises. What you said about trusting T enough to ensure you are okay before wrapping up really hits a chord. Mine does not ensure I am okay before sending me on my merry way.

Thank you also SK for the hugs (I'll take 'em for sure!). I don't know what T's deal is but yes, it is painful to feel dropped at the end of a difficult session.
PS: I am annoyed at your T for not making up the time when she starts late!

ChickenNoodleSoup · Nov 15, 2022 at 06:54 PM

We don't have a ritual as in him telling me time will soon be up, or that we do something special each time. It does feel like my T does steer us towards ending before the end though, like he might not lean into some topics as much, it just feels a bit different. I can usually tell about how long our sessions still are, or I ask. We do not have a fixed time, it can range from anywhere between 40 and 75 minutes.

When the time does come, he says some variation of "we need to wrap up" and I can pretty much just switch to okay, I'll leave. However, he often asks a few parting questions, like what's going on this evening still or in the next few days for me.

There have been a few times where I've either asked beforehand whether we still have time to bring something up, or to stay a few more minutes after something was discussed. Both went over fine.

RTerroni · Nov 18, 2022 at 08:00 PM

Typically if there are a few minutes left I typically try to get some closing words in and than end session.

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 18, 2022 at 10:01 PM

We have rituals. She tells me we have x minutes left. If I'm upset, we'll do grounding. If we're in a good place, we might do "would you rather" questions. Then we do reassurances. When I say "okay", she knows that I'm good. Then we say our "I love yous". She asks "ready"? Then we get up and hug. She opens the door and say bye. I say bye and thank you. She says you're welcome, and then closes the door. Every. Single. Session. I love it.

Rive. · Nov 19, 2022 at 09:13 AM

Thank you CNS, RTerroni and Scarlet... I appreciate your responses.

I admire those of you who can switch to okay as I can't do that. For those of you with such attuned therapists who ensure you are grounded before sending you off, I'm glad you have that caring and wish mine showed some of that. I still feel very hurt as T hears a client's struggle-distress-whatever and in the next breath switches on to 'okay, bye'. I mean?!

Jesla · Nov 19, 2022 at 06:42 PM

Usually we end with “oh my gosh its getting late!!” Because things always run extra long. “We should get goin soon.” Thirty minutes we are still talking. Finally we say good night and we give each other a hug and wave goodbye

AliceKate · Nov 20, 2022 at 01:11 AM

We both watch the clock, so it's usually obvious when the session ends. Only once so far has he needed to point it out. Other than that we don't have a closing ritual, really. We usually just say good bye and I tend to wish him a good week. When I do, so does he, usually. Usually after a particularily difficult but productive session, he gives me a broad smile. I cannot help but smile back, even if I am wraught out and shaky. It's all good though, it's a boding moment, and it lifts my spirits.

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Closing therapy sessions

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RTerroni Elder Member Since Sep 2013 Location: USA Posts: 5,751 10 2,136 hugs given	Nov 18, 2022 at 08:00 PM #7 Typically if there are a few minutes left I typically try to get some closing words in and than end session. __________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022
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Jesla Member Member Since Jan 2022 Location: Nowhere Posts: 41 2 2 hugs given	Nov 19, 2022 at 06:42 PM #10 Usually we end with “oh my gosh its getting late!!” Because things always run extra long. “We should get goin soon.” Thirty minutes we are still talking. Finally we say good night and we give each other a hug and wave goodbye
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