Lessons learned from therapists

Travelinglady · Nov 16, 2022 at 02:15 PM

"My Therapist Told Me This 10 Years Ago, But I Still Think About It All The Time": People Are Sharing The Most Impactful Lesson They've Ever Learned Through Therapy

I've been in therapy for years. I remember good advice such as "You've got to leave home to meet people," "Holding on to anger and not forgiving only hurts you," and also the fact that therapists can have unreasonable ideas, too, such as a therapist getting mad at me because I missed my appointment. She expected me to get in my car at nine a.m. the morning after a big snowstorm and drive an hour to get to her office. School had even been canceled, and I had two children at home that day. She had followed the snow plow to get to her office, she said. Didn't that tell her something?

What about you? What have you learned from therapists?

CANDC · Nov 16, 2022 at 02:54 PM

Therapists sometimes say things to help me get through feelings that they do not follow through in real life. I think I did some kind of thing in anger and they said I would be responsible for fixing whatever it was. I never got a bill or heard about that. Sometimes therapists are just setting boundaries because I know myself I am always testing boundaries in one way or another. Boundaries that are known feel safer than not knowing.

Nov 16, 2022 at 03:51 PM

Lesson I learned from them, unfortunately, is don't trust them

stopdog · Nov 16, 2022 at 04:45 PM

Nothing really. The woman never said anything insightful or useful - common sense wasn't even her strong point. Anything she said could have come from a $2 self help book.
I did learn that it is a pretty easy job and if you have the capacity to sit and do nothing all day long then it might be the job for someone who can do that.

ElectricManatee · Nov 16, 2022 at 10:31 PM

My therapist has taught me how to set boundaries and how to ask myself what I need and then follow through with doing it. They're both practices that have required a lot of time and repetition to feel natural. She also taught me -- in an indirect way -- what a healthy parent/child relationship feels like. And one time she gave me really good advice about how to get an ink stain out of my carpet.

Rive. · Nov 17, 2022 at 08:57 AM

Everybody hurts you, even therapists - despite their word and/or assurances.

Therapists are human and don't possess a fount of magical knowledge.

Nov 17, 2022 at 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rive.

Everybody hurts you, even therapists - despite their word and/or assurances.

Therapists are human and don't possess a fount of magical knowledge.

This ^

to quote a song and i cant remember the song name: they build you up so they can tear you down

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 17, 2022 at 03:41 PM

Looking back 11 months out of a long-term therapy: I think the biggest thing is that I already have everything I need inside myself, I just had to learn how to find it. Trusting it is still a work in progress....

Fuzzybear · Nov 17, 2022 at 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

Lesson I learned from them, unfortunately, is don't trust them

Exactly this. It's much harder to trust them now - due to the behaviour of two of them. They did not even give me a referral

Fuzzybear · Nov 17, 2022 at 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

This ^

to quote a song and i cant remember the song name: they build you up so they can tear you down

This sounds VERY familiar. It's completely back to front. This is NOT what therapy is supposed to ''achieve''!

ArtleyWilkins · Nov 18, 2022 at 02:11 PM

My two biggest takeaways from therapy -- concepts that keep helping me many years later:

1. I have the agency to respond to an event in the manner that I choose. I have control over my responses.
2. Grief is a normal process and is not necessarily depression. I can grieve without it necessarily devolving into pathology.

01:43 AM

Possible trigger:

therapists intend to make people die

lesson i learned

Lemoncake · Nov 18, 2022 at 02:28 PM

-Trust your gut feeling.

-"No therapy is better then bad therapy"- stolen from EM.

Nov 18, 2022 at 03:00 PM

the word therapists if you get the space in the wrong place says

Possible trigger:

the rapists

i just noticed

Nammu · Nov 18, 2022 at 03:28 PM

I learned that no outside agency not even a therapist is responsible for my feelings, and feelings are not the end all be all of life. Feelings can and do lie. Happiness is not the goal. The past is past. Live in the present and do what you can. The choice is mine. And there is always a choice.

NP_Complete · 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

Possible trigger:

therapists intend to make people die

lesson i learned

That seems a bit...extreme.

Nov 18, 2022 at 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

That seems a bit...extreme.

Why else would they call someone a time waster and shunt them between mental health services and learning disabilities like they do if I try get help .....

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 18, 2022 at 09:55 PM

All my Ts (even ex-T) have taught me positive things. I think two of the most powerful things I've learned is 1. Respect is greater than love, and 2. How to accept all my multitudes. There's much more, but those two have changed my life the most.

NP_Complete · Nov 18, 2022 at 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

Why else would they call someone a time waster and shunt them between mental health services and learning disabilities like they do if I try get help .....

Because they're incompetent or part of a bureaucracy that doesn't work well. I'm just questioning whether they wanted you to die. I'm sorry you had bad experiences with therapists.

The_little_didgee · Nov 19, 2022 at 01:23 AM

In the beginning I learned it wasn't okay to feel the way I did. Therapists/psychiatrists always found ways to justify their diagnoses and errors by blaming me and misinterpreting my feelings and motives. This was emotionally painful, enough so that I ended up "quitting them" for years.

Years later I learned it was okay to express my feelings and ask for assistance whenever I need it. Another lesson I learned was not all therapists/psychiatrists think the same and were out to destroy and minimize me.

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Anonymous32448 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 16, 2022 at 03:51 PM #3 Lesson I learned from them, unfortunately, is don't trust them
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,014 10	Nov 17, 2022 at 08:57 AM #6 Everybody hurts you, even therapists - despite their word and/or assurances. Therapists are human and don't possess a fount of magical knowledge.
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,234 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,764 hugs given	Nov 17, 2022 at 03:41 PM #8 Looking back 11 months out of a long-term therapy: I think the biggest thing is that I already have everything I need inside myself, I just had to learn how to find it. Trusting it is still a work in progress....
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Nov 18, 2022 at 02:11 PM #11 My two biggest takeaways from therapy -- concepts that keep helping me many years later: 1. I have the agency to respond to an event in the manner that I choose. I have control over my responses. 2. Grief is a normal process and is not necessarily depression. I can grieve without it necessarily devolving into pathology.
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Anonymous32448 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 18, 2022 at 02:18 PM #12 Possible trigger: therapists intend to make people die lesson i learned Last edited by FooZe; Nov 19, 2022 at 01:43 AM.. Reason: added trigger tags
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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,698 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Nov 18, 2022 at 02:28 PM #13 -Trust your gut feeling. -"No therapy is better then bad therapy"- stolen from EM. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
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Anonymous32448 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 18, 2022 at 03:00 PM #14 the word therapists if you get the space in the wrong place says Possible trigger: the rapists i just noticed
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ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,408 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,414 hugs given	Nov 18, 2022 at 09:55 PM #18 All my Ts (even ex-T) have taught me positive things. I think two of the most powerful things I've learned is 1. Respect is greater than love, and 2. How to accept all my multitudes. There's much more, but those two have changed my life the most. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
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