FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,731
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#1
I feel like I'm taking over the Couch, so posting a new thread. Feel free to comment here on anything related to my therapy and Dr. T.
|
Reply With Quote |
ArtieTheSequal, RTerroni, ScarletPimpernel, Yaowen
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,405
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,399 hugs
given |
#2
Quote:
I agree with you in general. In relationships outside of therapy, no one can meet all your needs. Well, even in the therapeutic relationship, it can't. In regular relationships, you have multiple people who can meet different needs and the sum is that most your needs are meet. In therapy, you are paying someone to meet your needs. Especially if you're dealing with specific things. I do not believe Dr. T is meeting the therapeutic needs LT has. If she could have multiple therapists, then maybe? But that's not usually accepted by other therapists. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,405
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,399 hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
AND he still isn't seeming to meet your needs. L has some flaws that directly affect my therapy with her. Yet she still meets my therapeutic needs. Is Dr. T honestly meeting yours? I know we don't know the ins and outs of your sessions, but the majority of your posts about your therapy seems like rupture after rupture. And I don't believe it's due to your issues completely. I think Dr. T definitely has his weaknesses that he doesn't take responsibility for. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: On a raindrop far, far away
Posts: 871
3 2,208 hugs
given |
#4
Quote:
__________________ my life explained in two smileys |
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna, zoiecat
|
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,835
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.3k hugs
given |
#5
I think a t can be like a pet foster - they get the neglected or abused animal up to level where they can just be the good dog they were always meant to be.
|
Reply With Quote |
ArtieTheSequal, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,405
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,399 hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
|
Reply With Quote |
AliceKate, ArtieTheSequal, ElectricManatee, InkyBooky, LonesomeTonight
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,405
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,399 hugs
given |
#7
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
Reply With Quote |
unaluna
|
unaluna
|
Magnate
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,515
6 4,704 hugs
given |
#8
Yeah, I think it's a both/and thing. The therapist can obviously not meet all your needs, but they can meet some of them in a limited way and the experience of getting that need met is helpful to the process.
"Ah, that's what validation feels like. It's very different from how my parents treated me and thus how I treat myself..." "I felt really uncomfortable when you met my mistake with compassion rather than judgment. I wonder why that was my reaction..." "I got angry and you didn't get angry back. Is that normal? Doesn't my anger hurt you somehow?" "I said that thing that actually kind of pissed you off but you didn't ice me out and we discussed it instead. Hmmm..." (this has only happened once that I actually made her mad!) These are a few examples from the relational side of my own therapy but there are so many other flavors it can take. And the overall consistency, predictability, and warmth of the relationship are its own thing. Vulnerability can only happen when there is a lot of trust that whatever interaction you're having is likely to be a positive one. |
Reply With Quote |
unaluna
|
ArtieTheSequal, InkyBooky, LonesomeTonight, unaluna
|
Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 916
7 409 hugs
given |
#9
Quote:
IMO I don't think vulnerability with Dr T is the problem. She does and says things I could NEVER do with my T. Howver I disagree with the quoted statement. I think part of therapy is learning how to deal with an interaction that does not go your way. That is part of life. I wonder if Dr T has his own issues with conflict avoidance because he always caves when LT gets upset about an interaction rather than teaching her how to accept and deal with situations that don't go exactly how she wants them to be scripted. Obviously I don't know the specifics of your sessions LT but you describe it as a lot of talking about the problems of the day and receiving reassurance that you were right on your part. I always wonder if Dr T is actually teaching you things like suggesting ways to look at things differently or from the other persons point of view. Acceptance is a very helful skill that allows you to be okay even when things don't go as planned. |
|
Reply With Quote |
unaluna
|
atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, Rive., stopdog, unaluna
|
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,731
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#10
Just popping in to say I'll reply to stuff on here and the Couch and any IMs later today or tomorrow morning. Just swamped with work right now, but didn't want to seem like I was ignoring anyone! I do appreciate your feedback and time.
|
Reply With Quote |
Lemoncake, Taylor27, unaluna
|