T having an emergency

Two weeks ago today my therapist told me via text that she wouldn't be able to make our session that day. That was fine and we scheduled a session later in the week so we could discuss my suicidal ideation. That day came and she never showed up for our session. (We see each other via telehealth.) She texted me later to say that they were having a crisis and forgot to reach out to me. I could definitely understand that she had an emergency but still felt disappointed.

Our standing appointment was the following week on Monday and I logged on my computer since I hadn't heard anything else from her. She never showed up for the session. I was upset at that point and sent her a text saying that if she no longer had time to meet with me to let me know. She sent me a text back apologizing profusely, and said that there was 3 self inflicted deaths in her family in the last 2 weeks and she overlooked telling me that there would be no session that day.

I of course felt horrible and apologized, and said whenever she was ready to let me know so we could restart therapy. She responded last week and said that she would see me today. I made sure to confirm our session yesterday with her. Well I logged in today and she did not show up. I'm not sure what to do or say at this point.

I should also mention that my insurance coverage ended back in October and she agreed to see me for free for now since we just started discussing traumatic things from my childhood when the insurance ended. I feel in a sense that I don't have the right to complain since she is seeing me for free.

The ball is in her court, right? What should I do now? If you've read this far thank you for reading my post and letting me vent.

I would look for a new therapist. At best it would be very hard to be present for her clients with her family going through so much.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Both for you and for your T. When we saw my former marriage counselor, his wife was sick, and ultimately passed away. He had to cancel a fair number of sessions at the last minute, and it was very difficult, due to my attachment to him (and at first, we didn't know what was going on, just that he randomly canceled).

Is she a solo practitioner? Or is she in a practice with other T's? Or does she maybe have an office manager? Just wondering if there's anyone else you can check with to see what's going on, like when she'll be back to work. that won't involve contacting her. If there's no one else who you can contact...hm, are you in the US or elsewhere? I ask, because I was going to say to reach out to her, say, Thursday and just say "Hope you're doing OK. I was just wondering if we were on for session Monday or when you'd be back to work." But Thursday is Thanksgiving here, so that would be a bad time to reach out. OK, if your'e in the US, maybe reach out Wednesday or Friday? And if elsewhere, then Thursday or Friday.

Also, if your T had agreed to see you for free, then I think it's still OK to expect her to show up for scheduled sessions or give you notice if she won't be there. I would suggest that maybe you agree to pay her a token amount, even like $5 (my T said he saw someone for that amount for a bit of time when they were struggling financially). As then it would be like you have some sort of professional contract with her, as you're still paying something.

I am thinking I might have to. I really want to talk about this with her first before I do anything though. At the very least for closure purposes.

Yes I am in the US, so I will take your advice and reach out later this week. Hopefully I can wait that long. Maybe Wednesday. I agree that I still think it's okay to expect her to show up for scheduled sessions even if she's seeing me for free. I really appreciate her and she has gotten me through so much in the past few months so I'm grateful to her.

My T is in practice with other T's so I'll see if maybe they can help me out. I just worry that because I don't have insurance I won't be able to afford the cash price but there's only one way to find out.

I'm sorry, this is a truly heart-breaking situation and there really is not any positive outcome. A friend just lost their spouse under similar circumstances and is struggling even though it has been several months.
Personally I would look for someone else that you can work with even if it is just temporary. You need and deserve that support and connection. It is not your current T's fault that they cannot be there for you right now, and it is sad that they did not have a plan in place or have not been able to activate that plan. But... it doesn't matter, you need and deserve support.

I'm really sorry that you find yourself in this difficult situation.

It is disappointing to me that your T has not offered to put you in touch with someone else, perhaps in her office, temporarily. We can all understand that she isn't able to meet, but it remains her responsibility to see that you are offered care from an appropriate substitute.

I also question her decision to tell clients the explicit details as to why she is absent.

If you wait for a chance to speak with her about moving on, you put yourself at the mercy of her crisis/healing process. If you were to speak to someone else, part of the discussion could be about your grief in regard to the sudden disappearance of your T, and your inability to reach closure with her.

in the meantime, what would you think of calling listening lines, such as

www.caringcontact.org?