advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Omers
Grand Magnate
 
Omers's Avatar
Omers has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
10 yr Member
3,133 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 26, 2022 at 01:40 AM
  #1
Awesome T sent me a message after our last session that I interpreted as a boundary, that he didn't want to hear from me until after Thanksgiving... reasonable enough although it set off the grief all over again. In hindsight I am not entirely sure I interpreted it correctly. Anyway... he sent me a message on Thanksgiving that brought a lot of relief. I am waiting impatiently for his wife's new blog post.

New T is very kind and gentle although a lot more directive than awesome T. Combined with where he went to school I keep getting scared. It is strange, all my years of not trusting men because of CSA and I trust new T as a massage therapist but yet get afraid because he is a little directive. We have both a therapy session and a massage session next week and I am hoping that it will help me calm down.

But...

New T is very different. I am really OK with the differences, and I think they will help me to grow in new ways. New T seems a little unsure. He also seems a little unsure of my confidence in him. I hope it is just because he is a pretty new T. I really like the way he thinks and all he has to offer... when he isn't quoting his teachers and textbooks at me... I know some of the teachers which makes it a little crazier. I think there is a lot of potential for growth with new T even if it isn't the same, extreme nurture of awesome T.

I am also a little nervous about the massage appointment. I was really excited about it and I am eager to work with him in that way... but he has requested bringing in someone else as well that he has worked with before. I get it if it is a liability thing or if it is legit he thinks she could help... it feels really weird though. Out T session is first so hopefully we can talk about it. When I tried seeing awesome T with art T in the room I totally triggered and awesome T had a really hard time keeping me OK... Fingers crossed I don't go crazy because there is a man and a woman in the room... and wondering why it scares me to have a man and a woman in the room... I would think it would make me feel safer.

__________________
There’s been many a crooked path
that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
Omers is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
AliceKate, ArtieTheSequal, lemonSys, LonesomeTonight, RTerroni, ScarletPimpernel

advertisement
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:48 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.