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Calla lily12
Calla is nothing
Member Since: Jul 2018
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#1
I need to ask you all a question. How many of you are "allowed" to e mail T and does T reply. ? At first he told me " no contact after hours", then he said a few times "e mail me". It seems when I need him the most he doesn't answer or says something that leaves me cold. I'm in (what word is worse than depression?). Hell? Maybe...... This is the first time I've been out of bed since Wednesday. I need to speak to him desperately. If I e mail him in desperation (sorry ..too dramatic). and he doesn't respond, it will push me over the edge.
I seriously need to talk to him. Would you guys take the chance? __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Grand Member
Calla lily12
Calla is nothing
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
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#2
Sorry....I didn't see the thread about this issue. If you still want to answer this I'd really appreciate it.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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ScarletPimpernel
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ScarletPimpernel
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#3
Do you need to go to a hospital? Many Ts won't be there during a crisis. They're not 24/7 Ts like a DBT T usually is.
Why not call? L allows me to email as much as I want about whatever I want. But for a crisis, I call and leave a message. If I can't call for one reason or another, I'll email her that I need her to call. L always responds, but it can take up to 24hrs for her to respond. Do you have a crisis plan? Have you ever made a crisis curve (plotting out the stages of your patterns during a crisis)? L and I have created both. She wants me to reach out BEFORE the peak of a crisis. And I know what skills to use to help me through it. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Calla lily12, FloatThruThis
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Calla lily12, FloatThruThis
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Grand Member
Calla lily12
Calla is nothing
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
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#4
No hospital...no way. I kind of wish there was a happy medium. My problem (s) are I'm going through a med withdrawal that's supposedly not dangerous but feels like hell, I just had minor surgery, this time of year is particularly bad, and something he said last session is bothering me a great deal. I'd be happy with a one sentence e mail. I know he'd never return a call. This is the worst I've felt in a long time,but I can't even think about the hospital.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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*Beth*
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Calla lily12
Calla is nothing
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
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#5
I never really had a crisis plan and I'm one of those people who will downplay a crisis anyway.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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*Beth*
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*Beth*
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SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
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#6
Maybe try a crisis line or a warm line? I don't know if I would risk feeling worse if your T doesn't respond. Hugs if okay, Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Calla lily12
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Calla lily12, Rive.
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Magnate
Rive.
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Member Since: Sep 2013
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#7
I was also gonna say crisis line.
But if he said 'email me' then you could email saying: 'you said I could email you and this [X] is happening with me right now.' Then tell me what you need i.e. a reply from him, reassurance / tools, a quick phone call to touch base etc. 1. I would add the 'you said you could email me' because of his inconsistency. So, this would be a reminder that he *did* give you this opportunity and you are not breaking a boundary. 2. Also specify what you expect from him as a lack of response would create upset. This way, your message is clear. |
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Calla lily12
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Calla lily12, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
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#8
Quote:
I agree with all this. You could say that you'd prefer a response, but to at the very least "please confirm receipt." My T does allow email and generally replies to it in the mornings. If he's unable to reply for some reason (or feels it should wait for a session), he lets me know. But we've had multiple discussions about this policy, and he's been consistent for the most part. I think it's worth emailing, but then I'd also have a conversation next session about what the boundaries and expectations are around email. Also, could you request an earlier session? Mine will often accommodate that if he has room in his schedule. Or if it's more of an emergency, which it sounds like yours is, he might add an extra hour at the beginning or end of day (he's done that once or twice). |
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Calla lily12
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Calla lily12, Rive.
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ChickenNoodleSoup
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#9
I can't email, I can only call him to arrange a phone call two times a week, though it's really only one time and the other would be a huge, huge exception. If I was in your situation and knew my T was working on some day, I'd probably try calling and leaving a voice message instead of email.
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Grand Member
Calla lily12
Calla is nothing
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
978 hugs
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#10
Quote:
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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Grand Member
Calla lily12
Calla is nothing
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
978 hugs
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#11
Quote:
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
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#12
Quote:
I'm glad he said he would respond to you. My T doesn't allow phone calls either (though a previous one did on occasion). I hope he doesn't take too long to reply and that it's helpful! |
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
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#13
I can email my t all I want. Does she answer? Not that I can recall. If I ask her about an email I sent she almost always says she didn't see it. Then she'll jump up and waste session time, scrolling through her emails. Sometimes I have emailed her just because I have to tell her something (even though I doubt she'll pay attention).
Anyway, how are you doing @Calla lily12 ? __________________ |
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Calla lily12, LonesomeTonight
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Calla lily12
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Grand Member
Calla lily12
Calla is nothing
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
978 hugs
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#14
Hi Beth. I'm better than I was but not great. I did e mail him and he said he would answer as soon as he could. He needed the weekend to rest. That's more than I expected ,so I'm grateful.
How are you doing, Beth? __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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LonesomeTonight
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Lostislost
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#15
I can email my T any time, and he replies if it's needed. Always makes me feel worse though...to get those replies, that we can talk about it next session, see you next week, you sound upset etc etc. I did it just before Christmas, like a complete idiot, and it's still making me feel like crap.
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Calla lily12, LonesomeTonight
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Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
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#16
My T says I can email her, that she likes it when clients email her since the sessions are short but she rarely responds. She apologized today about not replying to them and made some comment about how every day last week felt like a full moon, or something like that. Idk.
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Calla lily12, LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Salmon77
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#17
I only exchange emails with my T regarding scheduling and issues like that. If I really needed to talk to him sooner than my next session, I would probably see if I could get on his schedule earlier. Maybe something like a short phone session would be possible. I hope you're starting to feel better.
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Calla lily12
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