advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
Calla lily12 Calla is nothing
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
5 yr Member
978 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Confused Jan 13, 2023 at 03:55 PM
  #1
I need to ask you all a question. How many of you are "allowed" to e mail T and does T reply. ? At first he told me " no contact after hours", then he said a few times "e mail me". It seems when I need him the most he doesn't answer or says something that leaves me cold. I'm in (what word is worse than depression?). Hell? Maybe...... This is the first time I've been out of bed since Wednesday. I need to speak to him desperately. If I e mail him in desperation (sorry ..too dramatic). and he doesn't respond, it will push me over the edge.
I seriously need to talk to him. Would you guys take the chance?

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel

advertisement
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
Calla lily12 Calla is nothing
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
5 yr Member
978 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 13, 2023 at 03:59 PM
  #2
Sorry....I didn't see the thread about this issue. If you still want to answer this I'd really appreciate it.

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ScarletPimpernel
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,394 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
6,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 13, 2023 at 04:03 PM
  #3
Do you need to go to a hospital? Many Ts won't be there during a crisis. They're not 24/7 Ts like a DBT T usually is.

Why not call?

L allows me to email as much as I want about whatever I want. But for a crisis, I call and leave a message. If I can't call for one reason or another, I'll email her that I need her to call. L always responds, but it can take up to 24hrs for her to respond.

Do you have a crisis plan? Have you ever made a crisis curve (plotting out the stages of your patterns during a crisis)?

L and I have created both. She wants me to reach out BEFORE the peak of a crisis. And I know what skills to use to help me through it.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12, FloatThruThis
 
Thanks for this!
Calla lily12, FloatThruThis
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
Calla lily12 Calla is nothing
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
5 yr Member
978 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 13, 2023 at 04:13 PM
  #4
No hospital...no way. I kind of wish there was a happy medium. My problem (s) are I'm going through a med withdrawal that's supposedly not dangerous but feels like hell, I just had minor surgery, this time of year is particularly bad, and something he said last session is bothering me a great deal. I'd be happy with a one sentence e mail. I know he'd never return a call. This is the worst I've felt in a long time,but I can't even think about the hospital.

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
Calla lily12 Calla is nothing
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
5 yr Member
978 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 13, 2023 at 04:16 PM
  #5
I never really had a crisis plan and I'm one of those people who will downplay a crisis anyway.

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 13, 2023 at 04:20 PM
  #6
Maybe try a crisis line or a warm line? I don't know if I would risk feeling worse if your T doesn't respond. Hugs if okay, Kit

__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12
 
Thanks for this!
Calla lily12, Rive.
Rive.
Magnate
Rive. has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,002
10 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 14, 2023 at 08:22 AM
  #7
I was also gonna say crisis line.

But if he said 'email me' then you could email saying: 'you said I could email you and this [X] is happening with me right now.' Then tell me what you need i.e. a reply from him, reassurance / tools, a quick phone call to touch base etc.

1. I would add the 'you said you could email me' because of his inconsistency. So, this would be a reminder that he *did* give you this opportunity and you are not breaking a boundary.
2. Also specify what you expect from him as a lack of response would create upset. This way, your message is clear.
Rive. is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12
 
Thanks for this!
Calla lily12, LonesomeTonight
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
74.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 14, 2023 at 09:11 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive. View Post
I was also gonna say crisis line.

But if he said 'email me' then you could email saying: 'you said I could email you and this [X] is happening with me right now.' Then tell me what you need i.e. a reply from him, reassurance / tools, a quick phone call to touch base etc.

1. I would add the 'you said you could email me' because of his inconsistency. So, this would be a reminder that he *did* give you this opportunity and you are not breaking a boundary.
2. Also specify what you expect from him as a lack of response would create upset. This way, your message is clear.

I agree with all this. You could say that you'd prefer a response, but to at the very least "please confirm receipt."

My T does allow email and generally replies to it in the mornings. If he's unable to reply for some reason (or feels it should wait for a session), he lets me know. But we've had multiple discussions about this policy, and he's been consistent for the most part.

I think it's worth emailing, but then I'd also have a conversation next session about what the boundaries and expectations are around email. Also, could you request an earlier session? Mine will often accommodate that if he has room in his schedule. Or if it's more of an emergency, which it sounds like yours is, he might add an extra hour at the beginning or end of day (he's done that once or twice).
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12
 
Thanks for this!
Calla lily12, Rive.
ChickenNoodleSoup
Grand Poohbah
ChickenNoodleSoup has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,563
5 yr Member
1,300 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 14, 2023 at 01:31 PM
  #9
I can't email, I can only call him to arrange a phone call two times a week, though it's really only one time and the other would be a huge, huge exception. If I was in your situation and knew my T was working on some day, I'd probably try calling and leaving a voice message instead of email.
ChickenNoodleSoup is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
Calla lily12 Calla is nothing
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
5 yr Member
978 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 14, 2023 at 02:37 PM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive. View Post
I was also gonna say crisis line.

But if he said 'email me' then you could email saying: 'you said I could email you and this [X] is happening with me right now.' Then tell me what you need i.e. a reply from him, reassurance / tools, a quick phone call to touch base etc.

1. I would add the 'you said you could email me' because of his inconsistency. So, this would be a reminder that he *did* give you this opportunity and you are not breaking a boundary.
2. Also specify what you expect from him as a lack of response would create upset. This way, your message is clear.
You're so right about his inconsistency. ! I did try to e mail him and so far it's worked out well.

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
Calla lily12 Calla is nothing
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
5 yr Member
978 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 14, 2023 at 02:41 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup View Post
I can't email, I can only call him to arrange a phone call two times a week, though it's really only one time and the other would be a huge, huge exception. If I was in your situation and knew my T was working on some day, I'd probably try calling and leaving a voice message instead of email.
I wish I could call him but he said that'd a hard NO. I did e mail him and I was surprised he said in order to balance being there for me and being there for himself, he'd answer me but it may not be immediately. Better than nothing. At least I know he hears me and cares.

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
74.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 14, 2023 at 03:27 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calla lily12 View Post
I wish I could call him but he said that'd a hard NO. I did e mail him and I was surprised he said in order to balance being there for me and being there for himself, he'd answer me but it may not be immediately. Better than nothing. At least I know he hears me and cares.

I'm glad he said he would respond to you. My T doesn't allow phone calls either (though a previous one did on occasion). I hope he doesn't take too long to reply and that it's helpful!
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 15, 2023 at 01:40 AM
  #13
I can email my t all I want. Does she answer? Not that I can recall. If I ask her about an email I sent she almost always says she didn't see it. Then she'll jump up and waste session time, scrolling through her emails. Sometimes I have emailed her just because I have to tell her something (even though I doubt she'll pay attention).

Anyway, how are you doing @Calla lily12 ?

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12, LonesomeTonight
 
Thanks for this!
Calla lily12
Calla lily12
Grand Member
 
Calla lily12's Avatar
Calla lily12 Calla is nothing
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 826
5 yr Member
978 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 15, 2023 at 08:32 AM
  #14
Hi Beth. I'm better than I was but not great. I did e mail him and he said he would answer as soon as he could. He needed the weekend to rest. That's more than I expected ,so I'm grateful.
How are you doing, Beth?

__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always....
Calla lily12 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
Lostislost
Veteran Member
Lostislost has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 557
3 yr Member
890 hugs
given
Default Jan 15, 2023 at 10:19 AM
  #15
I can email my T any time, and he replies if it's needed. Always makes me feel worse though...to get those replies, that we can talk about it next session, see you next week, you sound upset etc etc. I did it just before Christmas, like a complete idiot, and it's still making me feel like crap.
Lostislost is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12, LonesomeTonight
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
Mountaindewed NoahsArk30
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
8,655 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 16, 2023 at 07:17 PM
  #16
My T says I can email her, that she likes it when clients email her since the sessions are short but she rarely responds. She apologized today about not replying to them and made some comment about how every day last week felt like a full moon, or something like that. Idk.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden
Mountaindewed is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12, LonesomeTonight
Salmon77
Poohbah
Salmon77 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,394
10 yr Member
106 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 18, 2023 at 01:04 PM
  #17
I only exchange emails with my T regarding scheduling and issues like that. If I really needed to talk to him sooner than my next session, I would probably see if I could get on his schedule earlier. Maybe something like a short phone session would be possible. I hope you're starting to feel better.
Salmon77 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Calla lily12
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:00 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.