Couch 242: madam i'm adam

I suspect she made way for an incarnation of you who pays attention to different things, who moves at a different pace and who has changing priorities. You don't need to work from a deficit model of yourself. Women are changing and cyclical beings, we move.

Comrade, that is so beautiful and well said! That really touched me, especially: "We move".

It reminds me of SD's quote: "Women are allowed to take up space".

Thank you, Comrade.

I need to remember both of those things!

I really appreciate y'all here. A lot. I may not always say it, and I don't always know what to say, but, that right there is the truth.

stopdog and I have the potential to become quite the poetic duo. In many ways, I think she considers me to be her muse.

So this is coming from a sports angle, but something Dr. T said to me today is helping. I have all these regrets and also ways that I'm unhappy with myself right now. And when I try to change (like getting rid of less healthy habits and picking up healthier ones), I tend to get hung up on my failures, in not changing fast enough, in not being perfect.

He said with athletes, they're taught to just focus on the next play. That if they just fumbled the ball or struck out or missed a shot, they can't be focusing on that--they have to be thinking about their next move. I'm going to try to apply that more to my life. I'm not an athlete, of course. But instead of thinking "I got nothing done yesterday, I suck," maybe I can make it more like, "OK, so what can I do today?" Or even smaller, not "I spent too much time scrolling Facebook in the last hour," but "I can do some work now." And such. It sounds simple, but the difficult part will be trying to actually put it into practice.

He also suggested I have a list of potential positive things I could do each day (it could be something like "go for a walk" or "have fewer than 3 drinks"). And then at the end of the day, list the positive stuff I did, what I accomplished (I did try something like this briefly). The risk of that for me is if I have an actual checklist, I'll likely get hung up on what I *didn't* do. So I think maybe I don't have an actual list. But I look back through the day, noting even when I just made a slightly better choice (I parked a little further away than usual so I got a few extra steps in).

I don't know if it will work--I do know that I need to try something different.

Thanks for sharing that, LT.

It resonates with me too.
I can't remember how I found it, but I'm signed up to emails from a site called raptitude.com.

This is the owner's latest blog post, which feels like it might also be relevant to you.

The Right Now List - Raptitude

that resonates with me too, LT thank you for sharing. Lately I have been so ultra-hyper-focused on all the failures and stressors that have already happened/are currently happening that I'm barely seeing tomorrow at all.

That looks interesting, Lost. When I can actually focus and read, I plan to read more.

My stress levels feel through.the.roof right now. SO much going on in addition to my trying to work a 9 hour day today. My heart is pounding in my ears still even though I logged off work 27 minutes ago and poured myself a glass of wine. I actually mentioned the "D" word to h today. Let's just say he was not amused and thinks I'm nuts and had no clue that I am having those thoughts. He hugged me and I laid my head on his chest and just sobbed. This has got to be my worst January on record since I started working for this company in late 2012.

RIP Cindy Williams

I am as certain of that as i am of anything.

Carmine has been waiting for her.

And Lisa Loring.

I never did understand their relationship. She was closer to Boo Boo Kitty.

My poor puppy doesn't know the furniture arrangement in our place. Yesterday, she went full speed around a corner and hit her head on a wooden bar chair. We had to take her to the vet for a neurological exam. She seems fine today. Also yesterday, she got trampled on by the older girls and twisted her leg. She walked it off and is fine. What a bad day for her though!

Fyi, we put the chair in the garage!

Poor Luna! I hope she gets the hang of things soon.

Awww! I hope Luna gets the lay of the land soon! Sweet girl.

Last night I dreamed something about being in college again and having a big cage up on my dresser with these teeny-tiny pet mice in there, and 4 baby rabbits. One of the mice got loose and I found it behind the dresser and picked it up & put it back in the cage. I was surprised in the dream that they didn't bite me. Not really a helpful dream on the surface but... at least I remembered it I guess.

eta: Just read this on a dream interpretation site: "Baby rabbits are connected to confronting our own fears in life. Spiritually speaking the baby rabbit is associated with care but also that you need to face any fears." okay that's interesting. I definitely need to face my fears with regard to current situation.

Art maybe it also goes back to you also expressing the wish to be like your old self and getting things done. Instead of the server it was solving the problem with the escaped animal.