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ArtieTheSequal
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ArtieTheSequal is rediscovering her passion and purpose in life.
 
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Default May 14, 2023 at 05:05 PM
  #241
This book is cool upon first glance through. You're gonna like it. I'm about to dive into one of the exercises using my mermaid deck. these cards are so pretty, aren't they?
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ArtieTheSequal
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Default May 14, 2023 at 08:23 PM
  #242
Ah L. It's really ridiculous, you know. Absolutely, stupidly, annoyingly, freakingly ridiculous that after 10 ******* years of what I now see was pretty much all BS on my part, I have finally truly begun this work.

****. ****, ****, ****.

(this post is the result of my first piece written to a prompt from the tarot for writers book; I shuffled & cut the deck I'm using, pulled a card, and it was the 9 of wands, and the prompt I chose from that chapter was to write about an escape route. So naturally, I wrote about the time a few years ago when I almost ended my marriage. Of course that's the first dang thing that comes up. Of COURSE it is. Stupid cards. Bah.)

Dude I can't WAIT until Friday. I have so much to talk about. SO much. Make sure you eat your Wheaties that morning....

Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; May 14, 2023 at 08:39 PM..
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Default May 14, 2023 at 08:37 PM
  #243
I really do love writing though. Even when it's hard and brings up stuff I'd rather not think about. Why did I ever let myself stop?!?!
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Default May 15, 2023 at 10:49 AM
  #244
See you tomorrow.
I'd be very grateful if you could let me know that you got my email, because that's the conversation we need to have.

How do I cope when there are no 'right' words?

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'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default May 15, 2023 at 02:07 PM
  #245
Dear T,
Sorry I'm so neurotic and needy...I imagine your other clients don't burst into tears when you say you'll now be off during one of their regular days the next week... I'm glad you were so understanding and empathetic about it. That's not why I want to see you tomorrow--just realized, like I said, I had lots of stuff to talk about from this weekend (realized on my walk another reason I was triggered by the phone call), and I don't really want to wait until Thursday to do so.

Also, thanks for the reassurance when I apologized for referencing your birthday...

Love,
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Default May 15, 2023 at 02:45 PM
  #246
Thanks for acknowledging my email.

We need to have the conversation, regardless of whether I want to do so.

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'Somewhere up above the great divide
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A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default May 15, 2023 at 04:28 PM
  #247
My mom just asked me to go out to lunch with her tommorow. Going out to eat terrifies me. I haven't gone out since New Years. But I know how proud you'd be if I went out. I just need to push myself. I'll have my mom choose the restruant. That will make it easier on me not to have to make a decision.

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Default May 15, 2023 at 05:25 PM
  #248
I'm worried you're going to leave. You're the first therapist I've had I actually like, and it's really scaring me.

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Default May 15, 2023 at 07:39 PM
  #249
E: You haven't responded to my emails in the past week or so. Are you ok? I guess it is a good thing you will be on vacation for the next two weeks. OMG. I just realized that I said I hope you have fun when I have no clue if it was a vacation, or some personal tragedy. UGH. I'm sorry.

T: Well, I have a feeling you will be getting more emails in the next two weeks. I'm scared for Friday,
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Default May 16, 2023 at 11:36 AM
  #250
Thank you for your compassion today.
I didn't realise how much I needed to hear those particular words in relation to this situation.

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A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

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'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default May 16, 2023 at 11:53 AM
  #251
Dear T,
Thanks for the support and empathy today. I think it helped to just get some of that out, the feelings and the tears. Part of me wishes I could just keep both the Thursday and Friday appointments (and I'm sure you'd be fine with that, too), but I know I need to pick one. I really appreciate your saying to just let you know tomorrow. (I really do mean it that you should ask me if someone requests one before then, and I'll decide.)

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Default May 16, 2023 at 05:23 PM
  #252
I emailed you Sunday night about my weekend and I haven't heard back. Maybe I'll hear from you tonight. I found some stuff that might send me down a rabbit hole I'm not sure I want to go down. This ulcer pain thing is real bad today so I don't think stressing myself out more will not help. I'll ask you tommorow what you think.

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Default May 16, 2023 at 06:20 PM
  #253
E: I’m being paranoid, right? It’s only 7pm. You have responded later in the past. This will be the last I hear of you until the 26th.
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Default May 16, 2023 at 06:57 PM
  #254
I gave myself a therapy hangover today without even having a session! I think I need to go veg out in front of the TV for a while... I have much to talk about on Friday.
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Default May 16, 2023 at 10:12 PM
  #255
Phew! I was getting worried there. Enjoy your vacation, even though I won’t see you in person until
the 31st.

T and E: Please please hope that if I need to take Luna to the vet tomorrow, that she’s ok. I’m scared. Also vet bills are so expensive! Not good timing.
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Default May 17, 2023 at 07:57 AM
  #256
ah now i understand why i stopped writing. it's that whole too much of my truth comes out in it thing and i didn't know how to sit with it. yesterday i kept starting and stopping, starting and stopping. finally made myself stay in the feelings and wrote a poem that just made me sad (of course I had to eat a bowl of chocolate pudding to get through it, at least it was h's sugar free/fat free pudding!) I will share the poem with you on friday. don't worry, it's not about you (none of this is about you anymore).
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Default May 17, 2023 at 08:00 AM
  #257
i need to try totally stepping out of myself and writing oh, a sci fi kind of story or something. that's why i bought this book in the first place; just the first exercise i did out of it became very personal. Next, i'm gonna use one of the exercises for developing new characters. that oughta help.
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Default May 17, 2023 at 09:34 AM
  #258
i wish sombody could teach me how to be with my complicated feelings without eating them. You have never been any help with that, sadly.
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Default May 17, 2023 at 12:24 PM
  #259
Happy birthday L, I hope you do something fun today to celebrate!
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Default May 18, 2023 at 01:33 AM
  #260
Elon Musk went on a rage about remote working. Not the exact same thing but people do seem to be taking advantage of it now. My therapist is still mostly virtual.

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