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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,808
7 6,349 hugs
given |
#181
I'm not sure how to get past what he said in his last email to me so I can continue to work with him. Is anyone willing to read it and give me some suggestions? I'm not sure I feel comfortable quoting him verbatim publicly.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,795
12 3,123 hugs
given |
#182
I'm happy to if you want to PM.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
NP_Complete
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,808
7 6,349 hugs
given |
#183
I will state publicly that because I use insurance, he has a contracted rate with the insurance company which means he can't charge me more than that rate. Apparently, my insurance company rate is a little over $100 while another insurance company that I'll be switching to in June pays more like $150 - $200. I think he only accepts my insurance because he took it when I started with him. He quit taking it at some point but I was kind of grandfathered in. The rate I pay him is because of my insurance. His email is bringing up that basically he's given me tens of thousands of dollars of heavily discounted therapy. This is not my fault, but I feel terrible and like an expensive burden.
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, SlumberKitty
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,407
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,413 hugs
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#184
NP - It definitely isn't your fault or responsibility. Whatever discount HE allowed was HIS choice. He could have said no at any point. This is on him; not you. T and L gave me sliding scale. L, who doesn't accept insurance, is choosing to go through my insurance to help both of us out (her getting paid more, and my sessions are cheaper). This is her decision. She had to decide her boundaries and limits so she could offer is wholeheartedly.
I'm sorry you're going through this! __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,232
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,760 hugs
given |
#185
NP I agree with Scarlet, this is not your fault or responsibility. I may have misinterpreted so forgive me if I did but if he is unhappy with his previous decision to take your insurance, there are much better ways to discuss it than to leave you feeling hurt, and responsible for it, and like you are a burden. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
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SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete
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Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 104
7 86 hugs
given |
#186
NP - I'm happy to take a look at his email, too, if it would be helpful to have another set of eyes on it and another perspective. I have worked through a number of ruptures with my T, some of which took heroic effort (effort it seemed worth putting in all considering).
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SlumberKitty
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NP_Complete
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,744
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#187
Feel free to PM me! I can get back to you tonight.
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SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,744
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#188
Quote:
The reason I ask is that my T is self-pay/no insurance, but we agreed on a discounted rate a few years ago based on what my insurance reimburses (he does sliding scale). He recently raised his rates and said he would keep mine at the current rate for at least a year (and then we could renegotiate if needed). Because of something else that happened with insurance (it's complicated--my insurance is incompetent and inconsistent) and a conflict that ensued, I started to wonder whether he'd actually been resenting me for a long time for paying a discounted rate. So I built this whole thing up in my head, like "he hates me." And I was scared to ask, then I finally asked him. He was like, "You asked this before!" (I had???). And he said he had no resentment toward me. That he wouldn't have continued the discounted rate if it bothered him. And I suspect it's the same with your T. That if he had a problem with continuing to take that insurance, he would have told you. And that he's fine with the payment he's getting. If you're worried, I'd ask. Feel free to still PM me! |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
given |
#189
Aww, NP, you can always send it to me to read if you want. i’ve definitely misheard the tone of my therapist’s voice in the email.
SD-i am really concerned that it is arthritic related. I will never get away from it.My diet is absolutely horrific. I hope that I need to deal with food. Eating disorders suck. I barely made it through the night last night. I had to talk to my therapist to calm me down. I called a nurse at my doctor’s office who basically told me to ride it out, and don’t need the ER. The main reason I didn’t go was because I couldn’t walk without severe pain. Today has been slightly better. I’ve mostly have kept my feet in an ice bath. I am calling my doctor tomorrow. |
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,808
7 6,349 hugs
given |
#190
Quote:
It just feels like he's thrown it out there that I'm costing him a lot of money over the years by seeing me at this rate and although he says it's fine, is it really if he's bringing it up? How am I supposed to go see him knowing he could be getting so much more money for his time? He knows it, and now I know he knows it. I just feel like this is one of those thoughts you don't need to share with your client. He's emailed back to tell me that he has some thoughts about what is happening with our connection and that it's not really about money or invoices and was I willing to meet tomorrow to talk about it. I responded: Quote:
**My company is switching insurance providers in June to one that will pay him better. He knows this. |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,232
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,760 hugs
given |
#191
I admire your ability to be so honest about your feelings, NP. If it were me I would have hung my head and been all "okay. whatever you want."
ugh i don't like that about myself. |
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,744
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#192
Quote:
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. I replied to your message. I hope if you opt to meet tomorrow that it's helpful. |
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,147
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#193
Quote:
__________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, stopdog, unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,232
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,760 hugs
given |
#194
Ooh that's a good point, @@.
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atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,808
7 6,349 hugs
given |
#195
I appreciate this. I will say that he seems to have no inclination right now to make any decisions on that front. Last time it came up, he said that our neighboring state (our metro area straddles a state border) may be allowing prescribing psychologists soon and I think his hope is that he can one day prescribe across the border and keep his therapy practice here as well. But who really knows what he's thinking. I was very patient through all that and it was very painful for me.
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atisketatasket, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,147
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#196
Dsability stuff at work. A few days short of a year ago when my mother got sick and never recovered.
I feel very, very disabled. And not in a good, identity-proud way. __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
ArtieTheSequal, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, ScarletPimpernel, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,728
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
given |
#197
Sorry to hear about your university being so horrible.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
atisketatasket
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,744
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#198
Quote:
I'm sorry you continue to deal with this at your job. There's no excuse for them to keep being so clueless and unaccommodating. Sorry also that a difficult anniversary is coming up. Hugs, if wanted. |
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atisketatasket
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,744
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#199
So, today a Facebook ad came up for a challenge to walk 100 miles in April as a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. I've been intending to be more active, so I signed up. H was like, "Go for it, you can do it!"
Dr. T reacted in the opposite way. He thinks it's more than I can manage. And doesn't want me to set a goal unless I'm 80% sure I can achieve it with moderate effort (that's his general philosophy on goal-setting, not something specific to me). Because he's concerned I'll beat myself up mentally if I don't achieve it, which I think is a legitimate concern. But I also wanted him to be more positive about it, like, "Yes, it's a tough goal, but I think you can do it!" And now I have no idea whether to believe that I can do it or not. (I also need to see if it's like walking a total of around 3 (or 3.2) miles a day, like in my general steps for the day, or if it needs to be "I'm going for a walk above and beyond my normal steps.") Thoughts? For the record, I've been getting back into walking lately and do a mile some days, but a while back, I was doing walks of 3 miles, just not daily. If it's actual steps in a day adding up to that, I can definitely manage. |
SlumberKitty
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,407
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,413 hugs
given |
#200
3.3 miles a day...a challenge, but I think doable. You don't have to do it all at once: 1 miles in the morning, afternoon, night. Do you have a counter? Can you wear one all day? I bet you do walking around your house some, too?
I've been riding my bike. I can only do it 3mins at a time. But I do it multiple times a day and in total am doing 33 minutes. That's good for me. I set my goal at 11mins per day. I say give it a try! The worst would be not meeting your miles goal, however, you would still be meeting your goal of being active! How is that harmful? __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
LonesomeTonight
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ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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