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SlumberKitty
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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 04:20 PM
  #41
Ergh.

Now I feel a little guilty telling my T I was absurdly annoyed!

Although therapy is supposed to be that "safe space" where you can say anything you want. I'm just not used to asserting myself. And to also be like getting used to telling a T when I have a problem (even a small one) with what they have done or not done. I should have done that with my last T and I am not wanting to make the same mistakes.

I do kinda feel like a jerk now.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 04:21 PM
  #42
I am either getting a headache or a migraine. I'm not sure which yet. Sigh. Yesterday I had a sinus/migraine/headache thing going on. I took sinus medicine. Then I took migraine medicine. Then I took aspirin. (Not all at once, like a couple of hours apart.) It finally went away but it was annoying.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 09:46 PM
  #43
I hope you feel better quickly, Kit.
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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 06:43 AM
  #44
Kit, I hope you're feeling better today. And Dr. T just texted me to move Friday's appointment by an hour (which is fine), but it's just sort of funny considering what just happened with your T. Hope your session goes well today.
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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 07:32 AM
  #45
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Ergh.

Now I feel a little guilty telling my T I was absurdly annoyed!

Although therapy is supposed to be that "safe space" where you can say anything you want. I'm just not used to asserting myself. And to also be like getting used to telling a T when I have a problem (even a small one) with what they have done or not done. I should have done that with my last T and I am not wanting to make the same mistakes.

I do kinda feel like a jerk now.
I think think this is a great insight and possibly something to bring up with your T? It would be like therapy gold with my T anyway.
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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 08:25 AM
  #46
Anybody who liked the previous versions of The Oregon Trail might like the Nintendo Switch version. They've added some things, humanized some indigenous people, and still remained pretty true to the concept. It might even still be on sale.
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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 11:06 AM
  #47
I've seemed to have fallen out with my mother again.

Possible trigger:

I messaged Fin for an earlier session. So seeing him tomorrow at 2PM GMT instead of 5PM on thursday.

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Last edited by Lemoncake; Mar 21, 2023 at 11:19 AM..
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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 11:19 AM
  #48
Hugs, Lemon, I'm sorry about the falling out. I'm glad your T can see you sooner--I hope it will be helpful.
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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 11:29 AM
  #49
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Hugs, Lemon, I'm sorry about the falling out. I'm glad your T can see you sooner--I hope it will be helpful.
Thank you LT.

It technically comes under "coaching". I found him by accident but he's been mentioned in the UK press in the Metro, Red & Grazia.

I still feel like I made more progress with him in almost 9 months then I did going in circles for 3.5 years with R.

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 11:34 AM
  #50
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dang it all to heck. i'm struggling again with the whole "it's not a competition" thing (trigger for weight talk)
Possible trigger:
I know all of this in my logical brain but Immature 15-year old Artie on the inside, is screaming it's not fair!! and stomping around. I'm gonna go take little miss 15 for a walk while I'm on lunch.
Art can you start taking photos of yourself and using a tape measure for body changes?

It would help it stick that it's just against you.

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 11:36 AM
  #51
Sending you so much love, Cake.
You don't deserve to be treated like that by the people who brought you into existence.

I hope you are able to show yourself the kindness you deserve.

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 11:42 AM
  #52
Hugs Lemoncake I agree with Lost you don't deserve to be treated that way. I hope that Fin is helpful tomorrow.
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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 11:56 AM
  #53
Hi Couch,

What does the word 'rest' mean to you?
I'm so used to working in one way or another all the time that I don't know how to do anything else.
Having been flattened by COVID, I'm now learning that I need to make intentional time to rest...but I'm not really sure what that means in practice.

My life's mission seems to be to assimilate new information...and I don't know when to stop.

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 12:09 PM
  #54
H has been an *** this morning. I woke up because Luna was trying to wake up H. Then I discovered she pooped in our bed. She was trying to tell H she needed to go, but he was ignoring her. While I cleaned it up, he told me he's tired and is going back to bed. I finally went back to bed too. Then I'm woken up by H making espresso and slamming the ice tray to get ice out. I asked him if he was making me coffee and he said no! He said he didn't want to wake me up... And then he has the nerve to tell me I owe him an ice maker???

The rain is so bad that I don't get to see L in-person today. We'll still do virtual, but it's not the same.

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 12:20 PM
  #55
I'm sorry, Scarlet.

That sucks so much.
I hope you're able to have an in-person session soon.

Take care,

Lost

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 12:24 PM
  #56
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Ergh.

Now I feel a little guilty telling my T I was absurdly annoyed!

Although therapy is supposed to be that "safe space" where you can say anything you want. I'm just not used to asserting myself. And to also be like getting used to telling a T when I have a problem (even a small one) with what they have done or not done. I should have done that with my last T and I am not wanting to make the same mistakes.

I do kinda feel like a jerk now.


@SlumberKitty, I struggle with this too. MyT says I can say anything to her about any topic, but challenging her on things to do with the relationship, or something she says or does that I'm not happy about is really difficult.

You've only just started working with this T, so don't beat yourself up about it. As your confidence in the relationship grows, hopefully you'll will find it easier to address things with her.

Well that's the theory anyway... I've been with current T for over a year now and I still find it hard!

East

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 12:34 PM
  #57
If anyone here who is in therapy has a bad session, do you tell your T how you felt about it or keep quiet? Or if not necessarily a bad session, but just one that didn't quite flow like it should.

My ex-T once said to me "'East, if you told me 'T that was a ***** session', I wouldn't expect you to pay me for it!" But then ex-T wasn't really in it for the money.

I do think current-T is passionate about her work and helping clients, but there is always a part of our relationship that reminds me that it is a paid-for service, she is not my friend; if I were to become broke and homeless tomorrow, I doubt she would continue to see me (although she did once tell me that she gave free sessions to another client who was struggling financially for a month); despite telling me that she 'cared about me in a sisterly kind of way' I felt as though she was just reacting to my telling her I felt cared for.

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 12:42 PM
  #58
I told the ones I hired. Remember you are HIRING them - they are not doing you a favor. Also -they really don't care one way or the other so no reason not to

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 12:50 PM
  #59
Hi East,

I had a couple of sessions with R that felt quite different when we were working over Zoom.
At one point I thought we were coming to the end of a session, and then realised we were only halfway through.
I told her about that via email, only to find out that she had the same experience.
it was the first time she'd ever thought I was about to end a session early.

I think it's worth having a conversation with your therapist about it if you feel it would help.

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Default Mar 21, 2023 at 01:15 PM
  #60
East - I believe that honesty and open/directness are two of the most important things in therapy. I give feedback all the time to L. She appreciates the good and the bad because then she knows how to adjust. If you don't tell them, they won't know how to do better.

Last session wasn't nurturing and connecting enough for me. I left feeling the not-enough pain and mother-hungry needs. So when she replied to my email, she gave me lots of empathy, compassion and love. It didn't completely take away the pain, but it was very soothing and reassuring.

If I didn't tell her, I would have been carrying around the pain, and probably would develop some resentment toward her. Instead, I got some of my needs met.

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