Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

Hi Lemon-Thank you for your concern! I eventually fell asleep anyway. I went to the ortho doc today, and he told me the next step is surgery. I need to get an MRI done, and follow up on three weeks. He put me on his schedule for the surgery (in may) but I can cancel.

It is 4 weeks off my feet, then a boot. I have no more FMLA left. I also can’t go another month with no income, even if that’s possible.

I asked if they can prescribe anything for the pain, but he said no. I guess I just suffer.

Hope it's going/went well, Artie!

I also shared some writing with Dr. T today. I'm taking this online memoir course and turned in my first assignment. It was supposed to be about a "first." Because I know the topic of my memoir I ended up writing about when I first met Dr. T. I gave him a slightly edited version to read in session today (left a couple things out).

I was anxious about it, but it led to an interesting discussion about where I was at the start of therapy with him vs. now, like he mentioned some positive changes he's seen in me (that I agree with).

He also said that he thinks writing is an important creative outlet for me and that it can give me a sense of purpose. When I left, he thanked me for sharing my writing with him. As I was walking out the door, he said, "Keep writing!"

I'm supposed to get feedback from the instructor early next week--nervous! I realized it's the first time in a very long time that I've submitted any sort of writing to anyone for critique, particularly for something this personal (I used to write newspaper articles and columns eons ago)

Kit can you take some time off work and just rest?

Could you do more more sessions with your T?

Kit,

I am so proud of you for taking steps to show yourself care and compassion.
About asking T for more sessions - would it be easier to put it in an email, rather than say it out loud?

I've lost count of the number of 'We need to talk about X on Thursday' emails I've sent R.

All you can do is ask.
The worst that can happen is that she says she can't accommodate more sessions.

In the words of one of my favourite authors: 'It turns out asking for help is brave.'

HUGS,

Lost

Hope it's going/went well, Artie!

I also shared some writing with Dr. T today. I'm taking this online memoir course and turned in my first assignment. It was supposed to be about a "first." Because I know the topic of my memoir I ended up writing about when I first met Dr. T. I gave him a slightly edited version to read in session today (left a couple things out).

I was anxious about it, but it led to an interesting discussion about where I was at the start of therapy with him vs. now, like he mentioned some positive changes he's seen in me (that I agree with).

He also said that he thinks writing is an important creative outlet for me and that it can give me a sense of purpose. When I left, he thanked me for sharing my writing with him. As I was walking out the door, he said, "Keep writing!"

I'm supposed to get feedback from the instructor early next week--nervous! I realized it's the first time in a very long time that I've submitted any sort of writing to anyone for critique, particularly for something this personal (I used to write newspaper articles and columns eons ago)

Well…the first thing my doctor said today was “you need surgery” NOOOOOOO! I scheduled an MRI for next week. If I do it (i have 3 weeks to decide) I will be off my feet for 4 weeks. Than a boot. I will have no more FMLA days. So what do I do? I have a feeling
I will get fired. I’ve been out for so long now-and to do another 4 weeks (at the least) is way too much to staff.

I'm at it again! Started a new doggie afghan this morning; this one's for one of my sister's pooches. H is out on a job so I'm just kicking back watching tv and crocheting. This pattern is so enjoyable to make.

I am thinking about scheduling some time off in April from work.

I am working my way up to asking my T for more sessions! EEK! I don't know why I am nervous about it. She will either say yes or no. Maybe fear of rejection?

I also cut back on some of my charitable donations so I could pay for more therapy if T says yes.

There is also a walk-in crisis center in the next town over. I have never been but it is supposed to be cheaper than the emergency room and they let you stay for 23 hours. It is an unlocked unit. You get to see a pdoc while you are there and also a counselor. If I stay feeling so crappy this weekend, I might go there tomorrow after Church. Maybe the pdoc there can adjust my meds while I wait for my appointment with my Pdoc.

I've enjoyed seeing you around the couch. HUGS kit

Well done for being so vulnerable with Dr L and your instructor. Do you also keep and write in old journals?

Thanks! It went really well. I actually got through the whole 5 pages - with room for discussion along the way. I guess it wasn't as much as it felt like! Well, one full page was a song I wrote last week, that I gave her a copy of and then proceeded to sing. It was funny but meaningful at the same time and we were both cracking up all the way through it. I suppose I should say it's a poem that I wrote to the tune of a catchy little song I heard on tik tok.

I hope you get some helpful feedback from the memoir writing instructor! I'm so looking forward to the course I'm taking - it starts April 11. I feel like I'm totally primed for the writing in there since I've been doing so much of it since I went back to therapy. Writing is a really powerful creative outlet for me, too. Gets me down deep in the ooey-gooey feels and stuff; down into the honesty and the truth of things where it's harder to just "go" verbally, if that makes any sense.

Ugh! I hate taxes! We owe $5k because H is a 1099. If he doesn't find a w2 job this year, we could be looking at upwatds of $15k for next year. Luckily, we can afford this year by doing payments, but next year...

When you 1099 you have to make sure you are holding enough. Go online look up the tax bracket per income level and make sure you are putting enough away each pay.

Thanks Jersey!

Yeah, this was our first time 1099. We're going to open a savings account and put money away for next year.