Pleading for help. Talk about the unthinkable, the “taboo” , the “ shhh, don’t tell”

Hello, I joined this forum because I need help. Please, this thread isn’t intended to be about venting, bashing or blaming and is discouraged. I need to know I am not alone when it comes to therapy abuse. The topic that seems to be erased, hidden, or ends up blaming or discrediting the client to keep this “dirty little secret” hidden.

Is there anyone who has experienced abuse from a therapist? Things like taking the traumas you discussed privately and painfully, turned it around and portrayed you as the abuser in their notes. Fabricated things in their notes that didn’t happen in sessions. Used gaslighting , an example,(giving a test on computer, then denying it when it was brought up as seeming inappropriate under the conditions.).

If abuse from a therapist has happened, how has it effected your mental health? Did you seek therapy for the trauma afterwards? How are you dealing with it ?😔

😓

Have you contacted or looked at tell?https://www.therapyabuse.org/

I have found that therapists are very reluctant to discuss abuse from other therapists. I suppose you might be able to find a therapist that wants to help with it, but mostly it just makes them suspicious of you, and they think you are going g to report them for some kind of abuse in the end as well. I don't know why it's like this.

With my experience of therapist abuse, I tell myself he was just a man. A man that called himself a therapist, but used this label to get closer to me than anyone has.

It's super painful, but I'm coming to the conclusion that if I ask people or therapists for help, it puts them in a powerful position to hurt me in some way. I'll never get what I need from them.

It affected my mental health massively, as seeking therapy was already a terrifying and vulnerable thing to do. To finally believe that someone can help, and then have them add to your trauma...it reinforces that the world is cold and un caring, for me.

Therapists abused me by making me come week after week to talk about the same **** for YEARS ! I always said that if I had just one good friend that would listen and empathize with me I wouldn't ever need a " therapist ". They don't really care about you. Your just another number in their files. Same with psychiatry. They throw all kinds of meds at you hoping that may help you but rarely get at the root cause of your problems. Psychotherapy is going the way of the dinosaurs. It's all about pharmacology and $$$. I love the ones who just take cash like a prostitute. So yes , you can be abused by a therapist and you should talk about it.

I have never seen that before. Thank you, truly!

Thank you for eloquently putting those words to reality on this form. It has helped me tremendously to know I am not alone. The very things that I have felt you expressed and are right on point. I have felt the same way about therapist that don’t wanna get involved because they’re afraid it’ll go to court, is what I feel and I am sure there may be other reasons as you mentioned. All of them valid. I went to a second therapist not only did he not believe me validated the other therapist by saying it sounds unbelievable. It seems to me abuse in the therapy world it’s something nobody wants to talk about. I can only imagine how many thousands of people have been traumatized and re-traumatized as a result over many decades. Thank you again.

It is interesting you say it was a man therapist. It too was a man therapist that I experienced significant abuse. I was significantly traumatized by the situation that I went to try and go to therapy for that particular trauma, it was a man and the only trauma therapist in the area. He really traumatized me by refusing to talk about it, ignoring it, dismissing it, trivializing it and avoiding any conversation related to what happened to me. The information I have gathered over time, seems to be men are more prone to antisocial personality disorder/narcissistic personality disorder. I do not know the accuracy of this information but it is interesting to see both of us experience abuse from men therapists. Coincidence?
I want to thank you for replying. Your truly hit the nail on the head and help me feel not so alone and isolated. Thank you for writing such an eloquent response and to the point. Best Regards, Bo

Thank you for your reply you have many valid points. I am truly sorry for the pain it has caused you because to feel betrayed by a profession that’s to help has done the opposite. I know that there are some good therapists out there but it seems the vast majority for a diagnosis, A paycheck and they’re not there do use critical thinking skills, understanding, compassion and validation as a means of truly helping a person.
I feel the exact same way, the times my life where I have been genuinely validated by friends and even acquaintances was healing and helped me get back to a baseline of what I used to be. There is a lot of truth in the power of validating, understanding and compassion. A gift humans have but don’t always use. The worst part is the psychology profession and the therapist don’t seem to use these innate human qualities. Thank you for your post and thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. Best regards, Bo

I went to the website and I am going to write a letter to them using the email they posted. I need my voice to be heard because what is happening in the therapy world is not only unethical and morally wrong it is damaging and detrimental to one’s health. Thank you so much for taking the time to post that. I hope it helps others as well. Best regards, Bo

If you’re on Twitter, a user and therapist called @ aclientfirst talks a lot about this - might be useful to know you’re not alone x

Sadly, all therapists are just in it for the money. They see pound signs or dollar signs or whatever.

Im sorry you was abused by one

This is not true. As in all professions, you will have some of the good, bad, and the ugly.

I have experienced very ethical and helpful therapy, but I would never make the blanket statement that all therapists are good.

The therapist i had in 2012 certaintly was like i said in my post, literally even when he found out i had gone to a&e to try stay safe from suicide one time, the psych there called me a time waster and told me to go home, then told tales on me to the counsellor i had, who literally didnt give a sh--

Thats one thing i do remember from 2012, recovered that one memory from that year

I think more than money - they want to be adored and have their egos stroked. Hero worship is seductive

True. Very true.

I had a therapist that was very judgmental and quick to accuse me of something I did not do.

I remember at the beginning of the first session with a new social worker I began seeing, I asked her if it was okay to make an audio recording of our session on my iPhone. She then said that it was okay. So I made a recording of the first session. But then, next time, she told me that she was uncomfortable with me making another audio recording of our session. So I said "Okay" and agreed not to make any more recordings. So we then proceeded with the psychotherapy session. And then maybe fifteen minutes into the session, I took my iPhone out of my pocket to check the time. She then said to me that she "saw" me pressing a button on my iPhone to record the session. I then told her that I did not do that, and that I was simply checking the time. I could tell that she still didn't believe me. What a lousy therapist.

there is a sub on reddit specifically for therapy abuse survivors and it's a place that is also welcoming of therapy critical and anti-therapy discussions. i personally find it to be a safe place for these kind of 'taboo' discussions with a lot of support.

therapyabuse

Thank you, I am definitely going to check it out! I appreciate your help🌸

Unfortunately, it seems to be that way. I know of a couple of people in the therapy world that have personality disorders. It seems to be a field that allows people with troubled minds to hide and call themselves a professional. To hide their ugliness and truth from good people allowing them to have the ability to do harm without ever being caught. Unfortunately, the therapy world gives people way too much power even more so than a doctor over somebody, as they can take advantage of anyone who opens up making themself vulnerable to the therapist who can easily take advantage of them and no one will be the wiser except the victim.

Therapist or some of the most paranoid people how can someone with a sick mind help anyone? I am sorry for all of those I’ve had bad experiences. I to i’ve had therapist that seem to only want a diagnosis and get a paycheck and cover there buttocks.

Thank you so much for letting me know I am going to look into it. sounds like you may have come across your own experiences as well.

Have you actually read her notes? how do you know that she's blaming you though? all i know is that i have been to many therapists and you really do have to be careful what you are telling them, unfortunately some of them are just looking for faults and you don't know where you stand with them or it just could be part of the therapy. They are wanting to see what makes you thick like to get to some type of diagnosis who knows but my sincere advice to you would be if your gut is telling you something is wrong then chances are it is, you don't want to get entrapped in to something you can't get yourself out of.

Curious, do you have private insurance?

Yes, I have obtained detailed notes from the therapist and I know exactly what I brought up ( four specific trauma situations). In their notes they put “ patient was vague in giving details about traumas that were perceived, Said she doesn’t trust therapist because anything she says is used against her.” This entire statement was fabricated in order to get the diagnosis they wanted to give. I was extremely detailed in the four specific traumas given and not once did I feel or say I didn’t trust therapist. I take people at face value and never had a problem with trust but after what the therapist did to me in session, gaslighting me twice deliberately and their fabricated notes, they violated the very fundamental of therapy, trust. When I was explaining to them I felt things have changed in the sessions and I wasn’t sure why or if there was something that I did, I paused to think about what I would say next when…. The therapist jumps up in their seat and says I didn’t abandon you. I know for a fact I didn’t say anything remotely close to being abandoned and was gaslighted by their fabrication of the word. saying I felt they abandoned me which wasn’t the topic I was discussing nor did I say it or insinuate it since I don’t feel or have ever been abandoned, left me confused as hell and rest of the week I kept playing that scenario over doubting what just happened. ( narcissistic trait in a therapist). Secondly, they didn’t like my test results for the GAD test, which was an eight, they redid the test in session on a computer while I was crying due to stress of talking about my trauma. Not only did they fabricate documentation in their notes saying that I told him I had GAD score of 20/21 (which I don’t, a score of 8 does not qualify for GAD) but when I ask them about the score that they put down a 20 out of 21, they said they never gave a test on the computer( another fabrication and gaslighting) This therapist did bizarre things and behaved bizarrely. They documented in the notes that I perceived trauma despite the very details I shared. Being assaulted, sexually assaulted etc, is “ perceived” perhaps the right question to ask is how does a therapist know whether something is perceived or not? They are supposed to take you at face value not play judge, jury, executioner. If I wanted that I would go commit a crime and go to court to have a judge and jury state if I am telling the truth and committed the crime.