New therapist says talk therapy won't work

Nammu · Apr 08, 2023 at 01:01 PM

Sometimes people say they will try anything but they don’t really try or give it a chance because they are too afraid of change. Even if changes would be good and positive. You’ve been in your pessimist valley for decades. You say you’re willing to try but you put her down and say things like she’s a narcissist so you have a reason not to succeed. From what you wrote she sounds like a realist and that could be good for you. Are you willing to tell her you are scared to let go of your negative beliefs? That you are too comfortable in the pit you’ve dug for yourself to truly want to change? If you start there and address those fears you could then move forward.

cool09 · Apr 10, 2023 at 09:41 AM

**** you.

comrademoomoo · Apr 10, 2023 at 11:25 AM

Seems like Nammu touched a few home truths.

stopdog · Apr 10, 2023 at 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cool09

**** you.

Blame the victim is often the knee jerk response by therapists and their acolytes. I believe that therapy often doesn't work because and it is not the fault of the client. Those people really oversell it. When they bother studying it - it not only does not help any number of people but it also harms a good percentage of clients. I don't have a clue how therapy was supposed to be useful. I talked -nothing. I asked what I was supposed to be doing - the woman said she didn't know. I asked how it was supposed to work-the woman said she didn't know. So finally, I just said screw it. I'm much happier not dealing with a therapist. I do enjoy suing them on behalf of people they have screwed over.

I've never understood why people go along with this idea that therapist never fail. Therapists blame the victim. Other people who think it worked for them blame the victim. Nice work if you can get it. That makes therapist not have to be responsible for anything. Don't believe them - it is not true that the client is always the problem

comrademoomoo · Apr 10, 2023 at 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Blame the victim is often the knee jerk response by therapists and their acolytes. I believe that therapy often doesn't work because and it is not the fault of the client. Those people really oversell it. When they bother studying it - it not only does not help any number of people but it also harms a good percentage of clients. I don't have a clue how therapy was supposed to be useful. I talked -nothing. I asked what I was supposed to be doing - the woman said she didn't know. I asked how it was supposed to work-the woman said she didn't know. So finally, I just said screw it. I'm much happier not dealing with a therapist. I do enjoy suing them on behalf of people they have screwed over.

I've never understood why people go along with this idea that therapist never fail. Therapists blame the victim. Other people who think it worked for them blame the victim. Nice work if you can get it. That makes therapist not have to be responsible for anything. Don't believe them - it is not true that the client is always the problem

This is one of the things I like about this place - there are only a few unrelenting pro-therapy posters. Most people discuss the shortcomings of the therapy relationship, of their therapists, of not being treated respectfully and sadly of the damage caused by therapy. Most people are supportive of other clients and post in support of the client's experience, far from therapist acolytes. Most people are aware enough to engage with the nuance of the work. Thankfully, I am not sure I have ever seen someone here say that therapists never fail. Equally, clients have autonomy and, as adults, we have some control over our progress and engagement with therapy.

Salmon77 · Apr 10, 2023 at 04:34 PM

Sorry if I missed this, but what does the therapist mean by "doing the work" in this case? That can mean a lot of things. It might mean worksheets and thought exercises, or identifying small steps towards improvement for yourself as others have mentioned above, or other kinds of work towards your goals.

I think it's true that improvement doesn't only happen in therapy sessions, but it's also what you do between sessions and how you reflect on and use the insight that (hopefully) you've gained through talking with the therapist. Therapy takes time but I do think that if you're dealing with a reasonably competent person and put in the effort, it can be effective.

FWIW: Personally I am pretty introverted and have trouble feeling comfortable talking to strangers, but one thing that has helped me is joining activities where conversation isn't really expected. For me this was yoga classes but there could be any number of things—craft groups, volunteer work, other kinds of fitness groups.

mote.of.soul · Apr 10, 2023 at 09:39 PM

Yeah, it all depends on what you want from therapy cool09. I mean if the whole point, for you, of having therapy is to talk, to simply release your thoughts and feelings and be heard, then what she said doesn't make sense. That's something which crossed my mind.🙏

AliceKate · Apr 12, 2023 at 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

This is one of the things I like about this place - there are only a few unrelenting pro-therapy posters. Most people discuss the shortcomings of the therapy relationship, of their therapists, of not being treated respectfully and sadly of the damage caused by therapy. Most people are supportive of other clients and post in support of the client's experience, far from therapist acolytes. Most people are aware enough to engage with the nuance of the work. Thankfully, I am not sure I have ever seen someone here say that therapists never fail. Equally, clients have autonomy and, as adults, we have some control over our progress and engagement with therapy.

I mean yes, of course. BUT. I think neither blaming the therapist nor the client is helpful here. And I agree with Nammu that calling the therapist a Narc because she points out that progress in therapy is mostly based on the client's willingness and ability to put in the work is not exactly nuanced either.

Discombobulated · Apr 12, 2023 at 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cool09

**** you.

If you don’t agree with Nammu that’s fine, but it really isn’t okay to address another member like that just because you don’t like what they wrote. I do sympathise btw with the struggle you’re facing regarding social anxiety and therapy.

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cool09 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2012 Location: Eastern MD Posts: 1,480 12 17 hugs given	Apr 10, 2023 at 09:41 AM #22 **** you. __________________ I know why you wanna hate me! Cause hate is all the world has seen lately! - Limp Bizkit
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,714 5	Apr 10, 2023 at 11:25 AM #23 Seems like Nammu touched a few home truths.
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