FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 558
4 890 hugs
given |
#1
....but I don't. Sometimes I don't like it much, but I do love it. And I want to love it. I put on weight when I was pregnant, obviously pregnancy changes a body for good. That's ok.
Sometimes when I say I'm nervous about going to a social thing, my T says 'oh because you are self conscious'....and I'm like, no. Wtf. He clearly hates my body and is projecting then? Or is he so used to women hating their bodies that he assumes I do to? I know he has a skinny old wife, so what does he know. What would you do? He always assumes stuff, I've corrected him loads but he doesn't learn. |
Reply With Quote |
AnaWhitney, LonesomeTonight
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2011
Posts: 574
13 29 hugs
given |
#2
I would tell him that......I have corrected that many times, and when you say that, it makes me feel unheard. T's are not supposed to assume anything; they are supposed to listen!
|
Reply With Quote |
ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, Lostislost
|
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,516
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.9k hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
This is what I would do as well. I wonder if maybe one time, you made some offhanded comment about your body, and he just has that in his head? Even if it was a factual thing like, "Pregnancy did change my body" or "I weigh more than I did at age 20." Or if he just assumes that all women hate their bodies. |
|
Reply With Quote |
AliceKate, Lostislost
|
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,692
(SuperPoster!)
13 68.1k hugs
given |
#4
Its like he is saying, "i would not keep you in my chicken coop." And im answering, "thats why im fat, so i cant fit in your stupid chicken coop." Who wants to stay in a chicken coop?
|
Reply With Quote |
Lostislost
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 534
10 40 hugs
given |
#5
If you feel up to it, @Lostislost, I would definitely call him out on this. It does sound as though he is assuming how you feel without checking the facts with you first, or just not hearing/accepting your reality?
Whichever it is, for the purposes of better interactions between you and T in the future, it might be best to set him straight if you feel able to do so. It isn't good when other people make assumptions about how we are feeling, especially a T, who should know better. __________________ To the world you might be just one person; but to one person you might be the world. |
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight, Lostislost
|
Member
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 434
9 394 hugs
given |
#6
I think I’d get a new T if it was me ❤️❤️
|
Reply With Quote |
Lostislost
|
Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 558
4 890 hugs
given |
#7
Thanks all, I've thought about it and I think I know what my problem is. When he makes comments like that, it makes me feel like he must think my body is bad somehow. I don't know why it's important to me that he doesn't think it's bad. Annoying.
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
Member
Member Since Sep 2022
Location: Eire
Posts: 170
2 2 hugs
given |
#8
Bring self conscious doesn't have to be any weight. You could have a perfect figure and still feel self conscious.
|
Reply With Quote |
Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 558
4 890 hugs
given |
#9
I know. It isn't about weight really, I'm not even fat...just bigger than before I had a baby. It's just him not listening to me and assuming stuff that's annoying.
|
Reply With Quote |
AliceKate, LonesomeTonight
|
Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 2,124
11 |
#10
Quote:
Noe saying that his comments are right but do you think your T might be picking up on this ambiguity? |
|
Reply With Quote |
Lostislost
|
Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 558
4 890 hugs
given |
#11
|
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
Mother thinks I hate her - is this abuse? | Survivors of Abuse | |||
hate my body | LGBTQ+ Support | |||
Hate my ****ing damn pathectic body ,my body go to damn hell | Self Injury | |||
Hate My Body? | Other Mental Health Discussion |