My T thinks I hate my body

Lostislost · Apr 15, 2023 at 04:52 AM

....but I don't. Sometimes I don't like it much, but I do love it. And I want to love it. I put on weight when I was pregnant, obviously pregnancy changes a body for good. That's ok.

Sometimes when I say I'm nervous about going to a social thing, my T says 'oh because you are self conscious'....and I'm like, no. Wtf. He clearly hates my body and is projecting then? Or is he so used to women hating their bodies that he assumes I do to? I know he has a skinny old wife, so what does he know.

What would you do? He always assumes stuff, I've corrected him loads but he doesn't learn.

Marie123 · Apr 15, 2023 at 05:57 AM

I would tell him that......I have corrected that many times, and when you say that, it makes me feel unheard. T's are not supposed to assume anything; they are supposed to listen!

LonesomeTonight · Apr 15, 2023 at 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie123

I would tell him that......I have corrected that many times, and when you say that, it makes me feel unheard. T's are not supposed to assume anything; they are supposed to listen!

This is what I would do as well.

I wonder if maybe one time, you made some offhanded comment about your body, and he just has that in his head? Even if it was a factual thing like, "Pregnancy did change my body" or "I weigh more than I did at age 20." Or if he just assumes that all women hate their bodies.

unaluna · Apr 15, 2023 at 12:11 PM

Its like he is saying, "i would not keep you in my chicken coop." And im answering, "thats why im fat, so i cant fit in your stupid chicken coop." Who wants to stay in a chicken coop?

East17 · Apr 15, 2023 at 01:07 PM

If you feel up to it, @Lostislost, I would definitely call him out on this. It does sound as though he is assuming how you feel without checking the facts with you first, or just not hearing/accepting your reality?

Whichever it is, for the purposes of better interactions between you and T in the future, it might be best to set him straight if you feel able to do so. It isn't good when other people make assumptions about how we are feeling, especially a T, who should know better.

AnaWhitney · Apr 15, 2023 at 03:31 PM

I think I’d get a new T if it was me ❤️❤️

Lostislost · Apr 15, 2023 at 06:28 PM

Thanks all, I've thought about it and I think I know what my problem is. When he makes comments like that, it makes me feel like he must think my body is bad somehow. I don't know why it's important to me that he doesn't think it's bad. Annoying.

Therapy reviewed · Apr 16, 2023 at 04:22 AM

Bring self conscious doesn't have to be any weight. You could have a perfect figure and still feel self conscious.

Lostislost · Apr 16, 2023 at 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Therapy reviewed

Bring self conscious doesn't have to be any weight. You could have a perfect figure and still feel self conscious.

I know. It isn't about weight really, I'm not even fat...just bigger than before I had a baby. It's just him not listening to me and assuming stuff that's annoying.

Rive. · Apr 17, 2023 at 09:00 AM

Quote:

Sometimes I don't like it much, but I do love it.

This seems contradictory..

Noe saying that his comments are right but do you think your T might be picking up on this ambiguity?

Lostislost · Apr 17, 2023 at 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rive.

This seems contradictory..

Noe saying that his comments are right but do you think your T might be picking up on this ambiguity?

Oh yes, I can be very ambiguous. And contradictory. Probably.

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Marie123 Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2011 Posts: 574 13 29 hugs given	Apr 15, 2023 at 05:57 AM #2 I would tell him that......I have corrected that many times, and when you say that, it makes me feel unheard. T's are not supposed to assume anything; they are supposed to listen!
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,871 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Apr 15, 2023 at 12:11 PM #4 Its like he is saying, "i would not keep you in my chicken coop." And im answering, "thats why im fat, so i cant fit in your stupid chicken coop." Who wants to stay in a chicken coop?
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AnaWhitney Member Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Somewhere Posts: 405 8 357 hugs given	Apr 15, 2023 at 03:31 PM #6 I think I’d get a new T if it was me ❤️❤️
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Lostislost Veteran Member Member Since May 2020 Location: Uk Posts: 557 3 890 hugs given	Apr 15, 2023 at 06:28 PM #7 Thanks all, I've thought about it and I think I know what my problem is. When he makes comments like that, it makes me feel like he must think my body is bad somehow. I don't know why it's important to me that he doesn't think it's bad. Annoying.
	Reply With Quote

Therapy reviewed Member Member Since Sep 2022 Location: Uk Posts: 114 1 1 hugs given	Apr 16, 2023 at 04:22 AM #8 Bring self conscious doesn't have to be any weight. You could have a perfect figure and still feel self conscious.
	Reply With Quote