The knocking T

A situation has recently developed in my sessions and I'm just wondering what others would do.

My T works in an office with 5 other Ts. They each have their separate rooms, there's a small kitchen and a waiting area and bathroom. My T's room is the one right next to the entrance. It's an old apartment building, the walls aren't that thick and the doors are just flimsy wooden doors not meant to really keep anyone out or in.

For the last three or four weeks, another T has started knocking on the door during my session. He apparently wants to say good bye to my T, the conversation always goes something like *knockknock*, my T saying "yes?" in a rather reserved voice, the other T (does not open the door) saying "good bye Ts first name", then he says good bye too and then you can hear the main apartment door. Yesterday, he even knocked three times in total. He apparently first didn't hear my T, then knocked again which my T didn't seem to notice, and then after a minute or so again, where he then explained he didn't hear him the first time.

I'd be fine with this happening like once. Or once a year or something. But it's not like there's thick walls, I know for a fact that he could hear us talk if he'd pay attention. I can hear both other sessions (if I wanted to, I could probably understand what was talked about) and my T talking on the phone with a closed door before my session. And we are usually talking, maybe there's a short silence or something, but we're not just sitting there for 50 minutes not saying a thing. Also, my T leaves his door ajar when he's not in a session and the door is clearly closed. I think the other T might also be checking whether he's the last to leave the office, so he'd know whether to lock it, but my session has been at the same time for 5+ years, by now it should be known that usually my T is still around.

So, I've been thinking about what to do. I could go down the most polite route and tell my T that it bothers me and he'd probably have a word with the other T. The other idea I had was to yell my Ts usual response before my T can get his first yes in. I think that might be kind of funny, though maybe it'd come across as rude?

Do any of you guys have a good idea? I know I could just ask my T, but I kind of feel like embarrassing the other T a little bit, he should really know better than to knock every week...

The next time he knocks, I would get up and open the door to him. Say, "I am in a session, you are disturbing me and have been doing so for the past four weeks". Close the door, sit back down.

I'd definitely bring it up with your T as it bothers you (it definitely would bother me!).


Given that the door is firmly closed, it must be obvious that the room is both occupied and there is a session going on. This other T should not be disturbing your session time like this.

Another suggestion, could your T put a 'Session in Progress - Do Not Disturb' sign on the door?

Hope you are able to get it sorted, I know how distracting and disconcerting intrusion into a session can be.

That would definitely bother me too, I'd bring it up with your t. I hope you're able to get it figured out, that time is supposed to be yours, and someone routinely knocking on the door mid-session I can imagine is really disrupting. Besides, another t should definitely know better, I'd think!

The "Session in Progress" sign is a good idea. My t has one, although one time, somebody did knock on her door in the middle of one of my sessions. She let them have it, too - boy did I see a different side of her that day.

This would really bother me, too. I'm surprised, honestly, that your T hasn't said something to the other T, like, "I'm in session, I can't talk" to the other T when he knocked, or else later told that T that it wasn't OK. (I know mine wouldn't tolerate that! But he's also very blunt and straightforward in general.)


I'd definitely say something to your T (maybe he doesn't realize it bothers you?) and let him handle it with the other T, whether by asking them not to knock if the door is closed (unless it's an emergency), putting a "session in progress" sign on the door, or perhaps both. If that T wants to let yours know he's leaving, he could just, I don't know, send an email or something.

Omg what is his PROBLEM???!!!

trying to embarrass a therapist because they were knocking at the door may not do much..

sometimes people who share a building do knock and inform other professionals when they are leaving the office for safety reasons. I have been in session with my therapist, and this has happened many times. I did ask whats going on, I was told that its protocol for safety. therapists are in a unique situation where at any given time a client can have a mental health crisis where a therapist needs help. it's good to know who is around at all times for those times of needing help. it also helps emergency crew because employees can tell emergency crew who is unaccounted for.

the USA also now lives in a world of protests and violence happening at any given moment. you never know when something is going to happen, and you may need to know who is in the building.

in my home I have a dry ease board where the children, wife and I "log" in and out. this allows everyone to know whether we are at work, home, a friends house, out on a date and so on, in case of an emergency and for general safety.

rather than making my problem with the fact that their employees must inform each other on when they leave the building, and how they are doing it by knocking while I am in session. I chose a different more positive and effective route.

I gifted my treatment providers business with enough dry ease boards in various colored borders on them, for all their office doors, complete with a variety of markers.

no one knocks at doors during therapy sessions anymore, I didn't have to embarrass anyone, and I did not have to make a fool out of myself in the process of trying to embarrass another person, who was just following safety protocols of informing other employees of their leaving the building.

my gift was well received, the dry ease boards are all mounted on all the office doors.

one of my favorite things to do is notice how the messages therapists write and color on their boards change. Some are quite creative in their drawings and leave a message statements. No, I don't purposely stand at their doors. to get to my therapist's office I have to pass about 5 other office doors.

my therapist and their business sent me a thank you gift of an edible flower basket (a variety of fruits that were shaped to look like flowers)

my point maybe you can gift your therapist and their business a few dry ease boards and markers to be mounted on the doors where the therapists can write on them things like "room in use please do not knock write your message here" or they can even individually draw and color affirmations or in session pictures on their boards. The therapist opens the door and immediately sees at the end of the session that he/she may be the only one left in the building or her coworker has left for lunch or for the day, or any messages left for them to see.

Dry ease boards come in many different colors, sizes and mounting styles. dry ease markers come in a full range of colors. its becoming quite popular for all kinds of businesses here in my location.

I'm thinking about the lack of professionalisation this shows.

Uhhhh, if I was aT, I would be mortified! After the first one she should have talked to the other T and said she’s usually in session at that time. In my T’s office (sounds similar to yours, a refurbished house), they have a back door where they walk in/out of. It also has a small kitchen and a big whiteboard. They have their names on it, and days/times. When they are here, they put the magnet on “in” for that day and time. Same with “out.”

Maybe when your T talks to this other T (kind of amazed they haven’t yet), they set up some sort of system where they know you are already gone, and vice versa.

Una- PERFECT .gif lol!

I'm surprised your T hasn't stopped this from the beginning.

Are they in a co-dependent relationship or what?!

No one should disrupt a client session that is in progress, unless it is for an emergency. Most certainly not to say 'hello' or 'goodbye'.

If it were for safety reasons, there are so many non-intrusive and non-disruptive ways to check if someone else is here: keep a light on, keep a door closed, have a T sign-out log, keep a note out etc. A closed door means a session is on, period. Frankly, this is pretty unacceptable.

Tell your T it bothers you. Likely it bothers him, too. How to handle the problem should be your T's problem, not yours.