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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,329
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,814 hugs
given |
#201
as of lately, especially since attending a CoDA meeting on zoom sunday evening, I am really starting to see my bull**** for what it is. I don't want to be like this anymore.
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LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, NP_Complete, unaluna
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atisketatasket
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,836
12 3,161 hugs
given |
#202
All the hugs, Artie.
Please be gentle with yourself through this process. R has told me several times that 'Becoming aware of something is the first step to changing it.' __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
ArtieTheSequal
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,870
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#203
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ArtieTheSequal
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,329
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,814 hugs
given |
#204
Quote:
thanks LT. y'all on the couch are so wise and i appreciate all of you |
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LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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atisketatasket, comrademoomoo
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,737
5 |
#205
Good for you, Artie. There's so much bull$hit flying around that we all look like a colony of dung beetles.
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ArtieTheSequal
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,737
5 |
#206
... from all of us, I mean, not just you and your pile!!
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,836
12 3,161 hugs
given |
#207
Hugs, Artie.
Awareness takes its own time. Not everything is a lightbulb moment. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
ArtieTheSequal
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,080
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.8k hugs
given |
#208
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,870
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#209
Ugh. I hate when I tell someone, like my T, that something will be fine. Then they do it, and I'm upset by it. And then I feel like I can't say I'm upset by it, because I said it was fine.
Dr. T is off tomorrow, one of my usual days (he only found out last week, some graduation--presumably not his 15-year-old son--that he has to attend). We scheduled yesterday, then tentatively scheduled both Thursday and Friday. I was unsure about Thursday, as I'll be at a concert fairly late Wednesday night. I asked yesterday if I could think about it and let him know tomorrow morning, so giving him his required 24 hours notice. He said it was fine. But if he had a client request the spot, could he ask me and give me right of first refusal? (In other words, if I still wanted the slot, I could say no.) It didn't help that yesterday he sort of joked that he'd rather I not keep the spot, because he has a very long day due to putting some other Wednesday clients on Thursday's schedule, too. (So if I canceled, would give him lighter workload.) I was debating whether to just cancel Thursday anyway when he texted an hour ago and said he had a client in need of a spot, OK if he gives away my Thursday session? I said yes. But even though I was considering canceling and said I was fine with the arrangement, I still feel rather sad and sort of rejected. Anyway, just getting that out here (and in Dear T) instead of saying it to him. As I'm pretty sure I know what he'll say. At least I have concerts tonight and tomorrow (same band--decided to go to both shows) to keep me occupied. (Though they're the same band at the same venue that led to me emailing ex-MC that night like 5.5 years ago.) |
ArtieTheSequal, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,080
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.8k hugs
given |
#210
Female luna moth.
Somebody posted one on my nextdoor. This one is from wikipedia. I love where i live. |
atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,870
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#211
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unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,329
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,814 hugs
given |
#212
Quote:
Possible trigger:
Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; May 23, 2023 at 03:14 PM.. |
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LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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unaluna
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
given |
#213
I hope I remember all of the responses I want to give.
First of all-did i miss the memo of changing our avatars! i like them. Artie-yours is so pretty. I also want to say that it really is very difficult to face yourself in a different light. It took me for my life to fall apart, to be forced to ask for help. And help I got. Way more than I would have expected. I still have a long road ahead of me, especially since I will be going back to inpatient soon. But don’t beat yourself up, though I know it is so so difficult not to. I spent a portion of yesterday crying because all i could think about myself was how sh**ty of a friend and daughter. Lost-No one knows my therapist’s name. I probably be bothered by that too, though it sounds like you are feeling better after talking about R. LT-I do not like how he handled your situation. He should have just said “Yes, letting me know tomorrow is fine, whether you want to cancel or not.” Instead he “joked” about how it would be nice to have one less client. Did he ask you about the other client taking your spot before you had to give him a decision on whether you were cancelling or not? |
LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
given |
#214
Oh, what is CODA? Apparently I am too lazy to google this.
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,781
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
given |
#215
Around here CODA is co-dependents anonymous
CoDA.org (my sibling just started going to some online meetings) __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,781
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
given |
#217
I hope it helps too
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
given |
#218
Thanks SD. I think I have the opposite problem.
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,329
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,814 hugs
given |
#219
Quote:
that's the CoDA i'm doing. I should have elaborated, thanks sd. |
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,175
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#220
Of course, to me CODA is child of deaf adults.
Sort of like to me gf is gluten free while to you most of you all it’s girlfriend. 😃 I’m setting outside on my new-to-me front patio gazing up at the waxing moon. __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
unaluna
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LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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Closed Thread |
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