Couch 244: Great Expectations

I cried a lot in today's session with Fin, we also did a meditation which helped.

He also suggested finding a trauma therapist too for extra support, which I did agree would be a good idea. He told me the name of someone he has an upcoming appointment with, but I messaged someone else.

P was supposed to get home yesterday and we're supposed to meet in 4 hours. I suspect he will be too tired to meet because he's coming back from 3 weeks with a 9 hour time difference. I wish he would email me to confirm or cancel so I can quit stressing about this. I kept dreaming last night about getting emails from him and seeing him again. Three weeks has felt like a really long time. We had what felt like a therapeutically fruitful email conversation a couple of days ago. I'm interested to see where we take that conversation. I'm so nervous to see him.

Hugs, NP. I hope you hear from him soon and can meet. Maybe if you don't hear in an hour or two, you can just reach out to him? That way, you aren't potentially wondering until the last minute.


Is tomorrow an option if he ends up being too tired today?

Yeah, we were already scheduled for Friday. He did email to confirm today's session. Whew.

Glad to hear it! Hope it goes well.

Hope you're session with P goes well.



Sorry if it missed it, but is he still planning on quitting therapy or has he decided to carry on?

(trigger for more medical stuff)

I don't think he has any immediate plans to stop therapy.

Art, I’m a bit confused. Do the two conditions—the endometrial hyperplasia and the condition you were hospitalized for—have nothing to do with each other?

I also had the idea the first was not yet a certain diagnosis before you were hospitalized?

Based on the ultrasound I had done on 6/12, my dr diagnosed the hyperplasia and referred me to a gyno for further testing. The hyperplasia is a for-sure diagnosis (the ultrasound showed a thickness of 10mm, but at my age it should be less than 5mm per both my doc and the consulting gyno) and confirmed by the gyno when I finally saw her on 6/27. She wants to do the other test as well as it's the only way to determine if it's precancerous or not (as I understand it). I may not have understood it all as well when I first talked about it here. I have definitely learned a lot in the past couple of weeks.

It is confusing for sure to have it all right at the same time. When I told my dr in the hospital about the above and asked if it was related to why I was in the hospital, he stated emphatically that it was not. It was just a fluke that they happened in the same week. (Actually the female thing was probably there longer, I just didn't have any symptoms alerting me to something not being right until 6/10.)

Sending you love artie bean and fingers crossed you hear some good news soon.

Did you start on the gift for your sister?

Just picked up the keys to my new place. Also ordered everything to have a place to sleep, should arrive in like two weeks. Still gotta plan the actual move, but so far it looks like it's working well.

Thank you!

Only sort of - in that, I decided to make a different pattern, and ordered a pattern book of different mandala afghans. Once I get it and decide on one, then I'll go buy the yarn and truly get started on it. I am excited to begin!

Congrats!!!

Congrats, I hope the move goes as smoothly as possible!

Just got the text from the FMLA peeps advising that my short-term disability/FMLA is approved through 7/4 so this is good news. I mean I really didn't doubt that it would be, my doctor very thoroughly filled out the paperwork while I was sitting there with her on Tuesday morning, but it's still nice to see the final approval. I'm actually excited about going back to work on 7/5, I've missed my teammates!

I just tried on a blouse i had last tried i guess maybe 3 months ago? For sure before my eye surgery. Anyway, im sitting there buttoning it, and it buttons across my chest, then over my belly, and im thinking, oh itz just pulled up in back, thats why... but no! It fits! All the gathers show! Im still no chest and all beer belly (from my mother's and my father's sides! Well my mothers side had chests but none of the cousines got 'em), but those inches had to disappear from somewhere!

I was worried i was losing muscle all over and just gaining belly fat. So i must be doing something right. I guess the daily long-acting insulin is helping me not just to feel better

woohoo! that must have felt good being able to button it all the way.

I was like, why am i even bothering? Theres been no change. But there is! Wth! I swear, even my hair is more luxuriant. Its been shyte for decades.

H wanted to go out to breakfast again today to a restaurant we haven't been in a while (before my hospital bills start rolling in) so we did, I ordered the southwest bagel that had a fried egg, cheese, and roasted green chilis. It was delicious, although I could eat only half so I brought the rest home. It should heat up well in my air fryer tomorrow. So far so good, with adding back in fiber foods gradually as I was instructed to do.

I got the pattern book of mandala-style afghans, picked out the one I'm going to make for my sister, and went to JoAnn and Michael's both but neither of them carry the yarn I want to use. So I found it on Amazon and ordered it from there; it should get here tomorrow so I'll have a couple of days to get a good start on it before I go back to work on Wednesday. I did not need to nap yesterday at all, and even managed to walk 1.24 miles.

Here's the afghan I picked out for my sis, (pic taken of the pattern book), I'm really excited to get started on it. I had to change one of the colors, the gold-looking color was out of stock so I found a muted green color that looks like it will match well.

That will be realy lovely.

Glad your, uh, system seems to be working OK! And the afghan looks like it will be nice.

What is the book? That pattern is really pretty and might entice me to learn crocheting.

CNS, can I just say I’m so pleased for you? I wish I’d been able to leave the ex long before I did.

So someone I know turned up at mine uninvited. They just called 25 mins earlier and said they were leaving to go home for a bit and are in between moving flats, but haven't got somewhere else sorted. Could they store stuff at mine?

They said they could also ask another friend R, but that it would be in his living room not be contained. I do have space, in the large spare cupboards I complained about before.

I was honest and said I just didn't want the responsibility of having to look after her stuff. Having to be round whenever she did decide to come back for it. Realistically I know we're talking weeks/ possibly months not days.

She left and said she didn't understand me. Why do I feel guilty? I heard her on the phone after as she left repeating my responsibility line to someone else.