Feeling bad for reaching out

shamon86 · Jun 04, 2023 at 07:24 PM

I emailed my T to let him know I'm not doing well.

Possible trigger:

I tried to SH last night, but the knife was dull, so it didn't really leave a mark. I didn’t tell him any of that though.

It's hard because everytime I email him I feel like I'm being "extra". I'm not trying to draw attention to myself, I email him because our sessions are never long enough to say everything I want to say. That and because our session isn't until Thursday I was hoping he may have an open spot somewhere to meet earlier. I don't trust myself right now and I'm trying to be honest, but I also feel like I'm manipulating him into paying attention to me. Does that make any sense? Does anyone else feel that way?

comrademoomoo · Jun 05, 2023 at 09:59 AM

Are you stating what you want when you email him? For example, asking for an extra session or to bring your session forward. If you are not safe, you need to go to the hospital (I am sure you know this) and if he doesn't provide crisis support you need to work out other sources of support. Have you agreed what outside session contact looks like or worked out a safety plan with him? Maybe your feelings of manipulation come from not being explicit and clear about your needs so you fear you are trying to creep through the backdoor to get them met.

LonesomeTonight · Jun 05, 2023 at 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Are you stating what you want when you email him? For example, asking for an extra session or to bring your session forward. If you are not safe, you need to go to the hospital (I am sure you know this) and if he doesn't provide crisis support you need to work out other sources of support. Have you agreed what outside session contact looks like or worked out a safety plan with him? Maybe your feelings of manipulation come from not being explicit and clear about your needs so you fear you are trying to creep through the backdoor to get them met.

I agree with all of this. I've found that it's best to be very clear with my T about what I'm looking for from an email Like I might say "I could really use a few words of support right now" or "I'm concerned about this conflict we had and could use some reassurance that everything is OK."

I've also learned that if I want an extra or earlier session, I need to come out and ask for it. I can't hope that he'll just offer. He'll generally give me one if he has an opening--if he doesn't, if it's on emergency/crisis level, he's made time before, but sometimes he just can't, which I understand.

I think it would be good to have a discussion about outside contact, etc. in a future session. Also, if you feel your session time isn't enough, it is at all possible to see him twice a week, even just temporarily (for a couple months, say)? It could be worth asking about. I found going more than once a week to be really helpful.

Therapy reviewed · Jun 07, 2023 at 07:30 AM

For some reason I could have asked for help using words but
Words never felt enought. It was like a prevebal part of me needed to demonstrate my pain.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Reaching out for help	Lil Haunt	New Member Introductions	8	Jan 14, 2019 05:32 PM
Not sure about reaching out	alongjuneday	New Member Introductions	3	Feb 23, 2016 08:32 AM
feeling defeated-reaching out	Anonymous43209	Psychotherapy	38	Apr 12, 2012 05:39 PM

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Feeling bad for reaching out

My Support Forums

Therapy reviewed Member Member Since Sep 2022 Location: Uk Posts: 110 1 1 hugs given	Jun 07, 2023 at 07:30 AM #4 For some reason I could have asked for help using words but Words never felt enought. It was like a prevebal part of me needed to demonstrate my pain.
	Reply With Quote