Question about DBT skills

How do you actually remember to use them, especially the distress tolerance ones?

Like the STOP skill. If I just went from 0->100 in a split second (or 100->0), I'm not thinking about DBT, I'm thinking about my go to for instant relief. It's only afterwards that I think "oh, I probably should have stopped, taken a step back, observed the situation, and proceeded with wise mind by using distractions or TIPP or body scans or whatever.

How long does it take to master these skills? I don't want to die before they're helpful.

I am not at all a DBT master, only a dabbler, but I have one go-to skill that I like and that works for me. So when I'm really feeling bad, I know that skill will likely work and I use it. In the moment I'm not going to be able to stop and use wise mind and etc etc. But it's enough to just get through that moment and start changing direction for myself. Wise mind will come back online after.

DBT takes at least a year to learn all the skills and start to use them be default. Until then is ut helpful to practice a few that you feel will be most helpful when you are struggling.
The trick is to practice them on a daily/weekly basis when you are not freaking out. Practicing regularly will build up habits that will eventually kick in when you really need them.
Also, I'm not sure if you are in a formal class but usually the leader wants you to call, text, or email when you are in need of support. It is their job to walk you through it and remind you which skills to use.

L helped me come up with a crisis curve chart. At the bottom is the trigger. Next is my typical first reaction. Then, second, third, fourth, etc. going up the hill as it escalates. At the top of the hill is the crisis point. This helps me better identify my symptoms before I reach a crisis. Sometimes, yes, I still can hit crisis point fast. But my reactions are almost always the same.

L and I have also made a crisis plan and coping skills list so it is readily available when I need it. Sometimes I don't want to use my skills, but I made some agreements with L and I stick to those no matter what. That is my default.

I don't actually remember the specific skills like what DearMan stands for. I have a bad memory, so I can't. But I do remember basic skills like opposite reaction or 'I feel...' statements. And my list of coping skills for distract in 'delay, distract, decide'.

It takes time. Like zoiecat said, it's best to practice these skills daily even or especially if there's no crisis. You want it to become part of your routine. Because often times in a crisis, that's what you fall back on. You're in panic mode and you just want relief.