L is pregnant

Anyone have any ideas for projects when L is on leave?

So far I have:
Paper quilling
Mandala rock painting
Diamond art
Crocheting Mandala blanket (thanks Artie!)

I also bought this art book: The Art Therapy Way: A Self-Care Guide

Just trying to think of ways to keep busy while also connecting with L.

Eta:
Bead bracelets
Infertility collage/dream collage

Learn new recipes
Gardening (indoors or outdoors depending what you have)
Read new books
Organize your closets and major clean up projects

Another crying session, this time a double session. Then a crying phone call this afternoon. So much crying. I can't hold all of this grief! Grief and fear. Grief of her not telling me sooner, grief that I'm not her child, grief that I can't have a child, and grief that she's taking a leave. And fear of abandonment, rejection, favoritism, being replaced, being unimportant, etc. My heart can't take this. I'm suffering from SI horribly. I AM trying my hardest to cope with it all, but when the grief and/or fears hit, they hit hard. So many tears, tension, nausea, gi issues, lack of sleep, drowsiness... And emotionally I'm a wreck. Whoever said that 4 months is enough, it isn't. Not to deal with so many of my core issues. I'm so flooded. I was finally honest with H about the SI and desire to SH, too. I think he gets it. My heart is broken. I just don't want this life anymore.

I think the previous comment about four months being enough (was it our learned friend una? I can't remember) was insightful (must have been una!). Four months is all you have and so you work within that timeframe; it becomes its own filter. Realistically, years is not long enough to address the issues you list here because, as you say, they are core. They are deep and far reaching, far beyond your relationship with L and certainly far beyond her pregnancy. You process enough in these next four months and then you do more work beyond that, with the temporary therapist and with L when she returns.

I think part of the difficulty with this situation is that the issues you list have became forefront very quickly, all at once and not on your timeline. L's timeline is shining a light on your areas of pain and that's hard. Can a timeline shine a light? Maybe una knows. Anyway, I hear this particular aspect of the timeline to be a difficulty which results from the artificiality and inherently painful nature of the therapeutic relationship. I realise you might feel differently because of your different attachment stuff, but either way this stuff is hard.

Thanks Comarade. I think I'm understanding. I hope so! (Sorry Luna for misunderstanding!)

You're right. Years isn't long enough. And this timeline is all I have now, whether I like it or not. And yes, I am trying to process it right now to at least try to get to a stable place. It's just so so much! It also doesn't help that the timeline is actually unknown. We don't know when the baby will come or when L will feel ready to start working again.

Thank you for the empathy and validation. I do agree that the nature of the therapeutic relationship is painful. For me at least, it reminds me of all the things I didn't or cannot have. L says it's a sacred journey that requires the boundaries and roles of therapist/client. I understand her AND sometimes I wish we met in a different role.