Couch 245: STELLA!

unaluna · Aug 13, 2023 at 02:03 PM

Thanks, lemon.

Cant say we werent close. She like single-handedly ruined my life. It wasnt just my parents weirdness, it was hers too. And my mother knew about it, but she threw me under the bus for my brother's sake.

I wish i had run away after high school and stayed away from all of them. So no, i dont want to see any of them now. I just dont want to feel bad and fall into self-sabotage. I cant afford it. Healthwise mainly. So i am trying to take care of myself.

I am going to be like Inspector Morse and leave in my will that i want no ceremony! Except on here, of course!

Lemoncake · 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Thanks, lemon.

Cant say we werent close. She like single-handedly ruined my life. It wasnt just my parents weirdness, it was hers too. And my mother knew about it, but she threw me under the bus for my brother's sake.

I wish i had run away after high school and stayed away from all of them. So no, i dont want to see any of them now. I just dont want to feel bad and fall into self-sabotage. I cant afford it. Healthwise mainly. So i am trying to take care of myself.

I am going to be like Inspector Morse and leave in my will that i want no ceremony! Except on here, of course!

I'm so sorry Una. I didn't know everything else that had gone on in the background. You don't deserve to feel bad and everything else that comes with that. You do need to put yourself first right now.

I hope you do continue to maintain your boundaries I was listening to this lady today. She does have a good channel and videos that are worth a listen.

"I had to resolve to care about myself more than I do about other people's feelings".

unaluna · Aug 13, 2023 at 03:32 PM

I subscribed. What a great post. Thanks sweetie!

Lemoncake · Aug 13, 2023 at 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

I subscribed. What a great post. Thanks sweetie!

She’s fab and you’re welcome.

In case you didn’t know I do love you.

As women I think we are conditioned to always put the needs of others first.

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 13, 2023 at 05:36 PM

I'm really looking forward to visiting my son and his gf next month. It's only a short trip, because we don't want to leave old cat too long (our friend is going to come check on him, but still) so we're only going to be gone for 3 nights. I think after I get these current health issues completely behind me, I'll plan a longer trip up there on my own! I'm really excited to see where they live and stuff, do some hiking, check out some of the waterfalls near them, etc.

Lemoncake · Aug 14, 2023 at 03:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

I'm really looking forward to visiting my son and his gf next month. It's only a short trip, because we don't want to leave old cat too long (our friend is going to come check on him, but still) so we're only going to be gone for 3 nights. I think after I get these current health issues completely behind me, I'll plan a longer trip up there on my own! I'm really excited to see where they live and stuff, do some hiking, check out some of the waterfalls near them, etc.

It sounds like the trip would do you good. Don't forget to look up nice places to eat too!

Lemoncake · 03:59 AM

I'll stop boring you all after this post but fin has raised his prices to £200+ an hour.

I don't have closure. I fantasize about booking the first appointment he has online which would be in September on the first. Unless he cancels my booking.

Anyone want to talk me out of his. He didn't reply to my Whatsapp message.

It's already been 25 days since our last session.

I paid :
£125 when his prices were £150.
Then he did see me at a discount at £105. When he raised his prices to £180.

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 14, 2023 at 04:35 AM

I don't know what other therapists charge, and I'm sure it varies depending on where they're situated...but £200 is an eye-watering amount of money.

I'd only consider paying that for something with tangible benefit, rather than an hour of someone's time.

I've paid close to that for courses, but at least I'm getting something in terms of the learning.

Is it worth writing a letter and ripping it up?

It's not much, but it might move you closer to moving forward.

comrademoomoo · Aug 14, 2023 at 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I'll stop boring you all after this post but fin has raised his prices to £200+ an hour.

I don't have closure. I fantasize about booking the first appointment he has online which would be in September on the first. Unless he cancels my booking.

Anyone want to talk me out of his. He didn't reply to my Whatsapp message.

It's already been 25 days since our last session.

I paid :
£125 when his prices were £150.
Then he did see me at a discount at £105. When he raised his prices to £180.

For 200 quid an hour, I would want him to walk on water and then teach me how to do the same. For context for people in the US, I am in Scotland and the average price is around £55 an hour. I pay a reduced rate of £40 for a very experienced, senior therapist. £80 would be considered expensive so £200 is ludicrous. I am assuming he is London/south based but even then no therapist has skills which warrant such a price. He has certainly shown himself to be a two-bit practitioner so his fee seems all the more ridiculous.

I didn't believe people when they told me this when my ex-therapist ended work with me, but it is possible to find closure with another therapist. I am sure it is possible outside of therapy too.

Keep posting Lemoncake. It's not boring. It's important.

Lemoncake · Aug 14, 2023 at 06:57 AM

Thank you both for the sanity check. I took photos of both your posts to stop myself making another bad choice.

Also a further thank you Moo for not minimising things. Reading that bit alone made me cry.

The trauma T I spoke to before said she would be back in September after her holiday.

I need to get back to the gym and training again.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 14, 2023 at 07:17 AM

If the pound-to-U.S. dollar exchange rate is still very similar, then, uh, I wouldn't recommend that any of you move to my area and look for therapy! Unless you're willing to take just whatever you can with insurance (a majority of T's around here don't take insurance, from what I can tell). Private-pay T's tend to be about that 200 rate in dollars. I get a discount, plus then my insurance reimburses 50% off for out-of-network (I'm not sure how common that is for insurance--it probably helps that my H works for a health insurance company, but NOT on the side of approving/denying claims or deciding what gets covered).

unaluna · Aug 14, 2023 at 08:58 AM

Thats a lot of cannoli.

atisketatasket · Aug 14, 2023 at 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Thats a lot of cannoli.

Have you ever had British cannoli, though?

NP_Complete · Aug 14, 2023 at 10:10 AM

200 quid (and I'm going on comrade's example and hoping that's the correct terminology) is about 253 USD. That's a lot.

comrademoomoo · Aug 14, 2023 at 10:25 AM

British cannoli carries a heavy import duty, ok?! He needs all the quids he can get!

comrademoomoo · Aug 14, 2023 at 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Thank you both for the sanity check. I took photos of both your posts to stop myself making another bad choice.

Also a further thank you Moo for not minimising things. Reading that bit alone made me cry.

The trauma T I spoke to before said she would be back in September after her holiday.

I need to get back to the gym and training again.

I know that this forum was really useful for me in the aftermath of my previous therapy ending. People really understood. It's a big deal for him to have ended in such a careless and detached way and people here will appreciate that. I think part of the significance of the situation is not just the hurt of this experience itself, but all the previous emotional injuries which it will bring to mind (and heart) for you.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 14, 2023 at 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

200 quid (and I'm going on comrade's example and hoping that's the correct terminology) is about 253 USD. That's a lot.

Ah, last I heard, it was more one-to-one, so I thought was more like US$200.

unaluna · Aug 14, 2023 at 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

British cannoli carries a heavy import duty, ok?! He needs all the quids he can get!

Those british tarts!

Im afraid there would be blackbirds baked into my cannoli!

Lemoncake · Aug 14, 2023 at 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

British cannoli carries a heavy import duty, ok?! He needs all the quids he can get!

I think I must have spent around 4.5k working with him.

He was always well dressed. He liked the Japanese designer Issey Miyake. Their trousers are £390.

I realised that I too could afford fancy designer stuff, even though it's not me- if I wasn't paying him.

Lemoncake · Aug 14, 2023 at 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Those british tarts!

Im afraid there would be blackbirds baked into my cannoli!

We also have an excess of pigeons you could use for baking.

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Couch 245: STELLA!

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,042 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.8k hugs given	Aug 13, 2023 at 03:32 PM #223 I subscribed. What a great post. Thanks sweetie!

Lemoncake Roses are falling. Member Since May 2017 Location: Seattle. Posts: 9,753 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Aug 14, 2023 at 06:57 AM #230 Thank you both for the sanity check. I took photos of both your posts to stop myself making another bad choice. Also a further thank you Moo for not minimising things. Reading that bit alone made me cry. The trauma T I spoke to before said she would be back in September after her holiday. I need to get back to the gym and training again. __________________

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,042 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.8k hugs given	Aug 14, 2023 at 08:58 AM #232 Thats a lot of cannoli.

NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,816 7 6,364 hugs given	Aug 14, 2023 at 10:10 AM #234 200 quid (and I'm going on comrade's example and hoping that's the correct terminology) is about 253 USD. That's a lot.

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,734 5	Aug 14, 2023 at 10:25 AM #235 British cannoli carries a heavy import duty, ok?! He needs all the quids he can get!