Couch 245: STELLA!

Do you really want to keep engaging the freudian with talk of cucumber?

I live for this nonsense.

Morning couch. I'm worried about h again. He still has this ongoing abdominal pain (.5 on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst) that he's had for a couple of years now, about a year ago the dr did a full workup of tests including CT scans, etc and everything was normal; they concluded it was muscle-related since he drives so much. But this morning he told me it had started getting worse while we were in Oregon but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to ruin our trip, that it is now closer to a 1, and he said he is staying in bed all day. I'm going to call the dr on Monday and try to get him in soon. I'm not sure what to do until then. Meanwhile, the hospital called yesterday and I'm scheduled for my pre-op testing this coming Friday. I wish I didn't have to worry about him too right now, but I guess such is life...

It is not unfun

You can take him to A&E if it gets worse.

Two things - okay i just filled in the juror questionnaire and it did say over 70 do you not want to do this, so i said yes.

2nd thing - from .5 to 1? Really? How does that even count? Does he think 5 is you left your foot in the lawn mower? To me, 1 is you take a Gas-x, 3 one ibuprophen, 5 is two ibuprophen, 7 is urgent care unless i think its my gallbladder in which case i take 2 tagamet and lie down. But i have to say knock on wood i am pretty sturdy.

Seriously, i have an online acquaintance who is very ill and posts about being ready and waiting to meet Jesus. It got me thinking that in my afterlife, i will look forward to Groucho Marx greeting me at the pearly gates. Also St Hellerius.

deleted my post filled with frustration, because i asked myself why i stay in this marriage.

and answered it - because i am not yet ready to leave.

i am currently playing canasta against a bot on pogo.com to shut up my stupid brain.

Hugs, Artie.

And about your H's pain, assuming he uses a similar pain scale to what I think of in terms of pain, a "1" is not very much at all (at first, I thought you meant "5" rather than ".5" but then realized you did mean .5 when you said it went to a 1). He should still get it checked out, but doesn't sound like an ER visit, for example.

Good post, LT.

That pain scale is unlike anything I've heard of either, Artie.

You deserve to spend your time with someone who cares about you as much as you care about them.

Oh artie, im sorry. My question would be, not why do you stay married, but how do you not slap him silly x times a day?!

I think my problem is, my mother was the uh unreasonable one in the house, so i have much higher expectations of men, since my dad was sooo good at "keeping the peace", however artificially. So for me to have to deal with raw male ego? Oh no - one step off the butterfly path and i can't handle it.

It makes life more amusing.

Freudianism or jury duty?

Hmmm. Not Freud?

.5 is such a older-generation male pain scale. .5 to any woman is like a good day.

Just came home and saw a family of 5 raccoons! Never seen them in-person in my entire life. Super cute.

[QUOTE=atisketatasket;7367104]It makes life more amusing.


yes but she is so easily overstimulated by body part shaped vegetables

I thought I had misread the “.5,” and assumed you meant a 5! lol. How on earth is a .5 even on a scale from 1-10? And how is it a problem that it is a 1? I quite literally do not understand. I probably could rate my jaw “pain” a 1 from these past few days, but I am not even taking any ibuprofen or anything. It’s just slightly annoying.

Sorry-I probably am a bit triggered because I have spent the past 9 months in constant, excruciating pain, having to leave my job that i loved and was really the main thing giving me purpose in life, because my pain was at about a 8-10 every single day. I would just lay in bed and cry every night. And no doctor would give me anything other than gabapentin, which did nothing.

thankfully, i believe it is turning a corner, but only out of desperation and luck. no medical test or exam could figure it out, and my last option was surgery, which; even my surgeon lowered the success rate of helping the pain for me. Longgg story short, the problem basically started because i had major grief that i wasn’t dealing with, severe depression, and just came out of a horrific experience at the inpatient place i stayed. my chronic pain started the next week. i ended up back at my favorite inpatient place twice in a month, back in may. i was very, very close to giving up. I could not take living in extreme pain every day. It ruined my life. I met someone at the inpatient place who was convinced nothing was actually wrong with my feet-that it was a mind/body issue. A month prior to that I would have dismissed this. I was in extreme desperation, so i said i would check into the resources she gave me.

a month later and the pain started to lessen in severity, and then lessen in how much of the day it hurt, and slowly i had more time with just a little bit of pain. i still am in pain, but i have started walking every day (i hadn’t gone for a walk since last december), and have stopped using an ice bath to numb them, which was the only thing that provided pain relief.

i am so; so glad that i am slowly figuring out how to really deal with the pain, which is great, but i am still unemployed, and benefits run out soon. it’s a very long road ahead, and today was a pretty large setback in some ways, but it is sloowwllyy improving.

Well, sorry Artie! I didn’t mean to tell my life story in this post, lol. Today was just a really bad day. I do hope you can get the support you need with your upcoming surgery.

If you’re not happy Art. Would the pain of staying together be more than the pain of separating?

Odd that he was quick to minimise your pain and fears.

Artie,
I'm not ready to leave my marriage either. I have my reasons: the relationship still provides me with things I want and need. If/when you're ready to leave, you'll know. Like I know it's time to have my dad nove out. I don't like it, I'm scared, AND it's time. Don't beat yourself up for staying in a dysfunctional relationship. There's a reason why you're staying, and it's okay. It's also okay to leave. My suggestion, and it was my suggestion to my sister as well: work on yourself now. Get yourself to where you can be ready to leave. My sister wanted to have a job and get the gastric bypass surgery first. And she did. She gained friends and support, an income, felt better about herself, more confident. Do what you can now to live your most optimal life. Having a non-supportive husband doesn't have to stop you.

Thanks Velcro. I'm sorry I triggered you and that it was a bad day.

Thanks Lemon. I think it's more - the fear of the unknown; and just, well, the logistics of it all...

It rather does piss me off that he so minimizes my pain and fears yet I'm supposed to fall all over myself and do everything for him... ".5 pain" my *****. If he's so sidelined by that - I can't even imagine how he would deal if he got what I had in mid-June. That was the most extreme pain I have ever felt and would not wish on anyone no matter who they are or what they'd done.

Yeah Artie's feelin' a little saucy this evening. I better chill out before my coda meeting heehee