Couch 245: STELLA!

Whew I am bushed; taking a break. We had 14 cubic yards of dirt delivered to our driveway on Friday; me, h, and his friend R are in the process of moving it by wheelbarrows into the backyard and dumping it on the other side of the retaining wall we built awhile back. They built a very functional ramp using a cooler filled with dirt, a cinderblock, and a long board.

It feels like a HUGE undertaking - we are maybe-maybe almost halfway done. I tried to talk h into hiring people to move it for us, but he insisted we can do it ourselves with R's help. He is still hopeful, while I am not!! I cannot keep up with them; there is no way. I loaded up, moved, and dumped 10 wheelbarrows full yesterday evening and that about did me in! We stopped working when it got too dark to see. It's just too hot during the main part of the day so we're working from around 6a-9a and then after the sun goes down til we can't see good enough anymore. My job today since we have only 2 wheelbarrows is to level out the dirt as they dump it over the wall and we just slowly move the ramp down the wall as it gets filled up.

Here's what the mountain looked like at 5:45 this morning just before we started:

Oh, yes! Thank you Lost! I would love to watch some tv series. And there's a book, "The Tears That Taught Me" by Morgan Richard Olivier, that I would love to read.

I'll be putting that on my list of things to do!

The email communication with G went well! I still want to talk to L about it, but this seems more promising now. I think he's understanding what I want and need, and he seems sure that he can provide that. He admitted to his discomfort, and that was really reassuring. The only thing that hurt was that he said my questions that I sent him beforehand, came across as "cold and direct". They were meant to be direct, but I feel bad about the cold part. But he said he felt I was more warm and flexible in my interaction with him. Phew! Maybe it's just because we can't read each other that well yet?

I am hopeful for now.

Hopeful sounds good, Scarlet!

All that dirt will be useful for burying the bodies. You know, should you ever have any bodies you wish to dispose of.

Glad you're both feeling better about working together now. It can definitely be difficult to read someone just based on an email. Though I don't think he should have described your communication as "cold." That would bother me as well.


I hope he turns out to be helpful. And if he isn't, you can always choose to stop seeing him.

Watching an old episode of Adam-12 and who is on this episode but Johnny Gage from Emergency! Cool. He was such a cutie back in the day. Randolph Mantooth.

I was in love with Randy Mantooth. I always pretended I was in trouble and he came to save my on Emergency.

Grantchester -

Club Owner trying to bribe: "Mi casa e su casa."
New detective: "I don't speak French."

I think i saw Mantooth recently - still pretty good lookin.

Got some stuff done today. Yay me.

Indeed; I googled him after that episode

Scarlet - I was thinking of joining an art club, reading book group or a walking group.

Maybe like doing something for yourself in your usual therapy time to get you out of the house.

The art club sounds cool. I'll definitely look into that! I don't read, and I don't think there's any walking group around here. I wouldn't even know where to walk around here on my own!

Doing something for myself during usual therapy time is smart! And I'll definitely need reasons to get out of the house since I'll barely be leaving because G is telehealth.

G responded to my hurt about using the word "cold". He said he used it to describe my questions are guarded and he thinks he felt that way because of the "limited context of emails". If he meant guarded, he should have said that. I'm not trying to have perfect expectations of him, AND "cold" is a harsh word.

I'm still going to see if L can help with email boundaries and sliding scale fee. Both need to be reworked.

I agree that "cold" and "guarded" have different meanings.


I hope something can be worked out with email boundaries and fees. There's still a chance he could take your insurance, right?

Yes. L is has to contact my insurance this month anyways, so she'll ask then. I hope they say yes!

I got a call from the dr today with my test results (trigger for medical stuff) And now I'm going to go outside and move some more of that stupid dirt out of my driveway so I can stop thinking about this.

Hugs, Artie. I'm sorry you have to wait that long without knowing. But I agree that if it was urgent, I think they'd have you back in much sooner than that--they'd make room for you in the schedule.

I loaded up and moved 10 wheelbarrows full!! That was my goal for this evening. I might go try 2 more after I rest a little/cool off some. Physical labor really keeps me out of my head. Maybe 4.

eta: only did 2 more then took a hot shower. I think I'm tired enough to sleep now without lying awake worrying half the night.

12 loads in one evening is my record so far I told h when he got home from his job and he said what are you trying to do to yourself? I told him honestly, I needed to DO something so I wouldn't sit on the couch and worry.

Thanks, LT. I might call them back tomorrow and see if they have a cancellation list or something...

I do have some good news too. A poem I submitted back in early June got accepted for publication, just got the email letting me know yesterday. I am excited about that!

That's awesome, Artie! Congratulations!

Congrats, Artie! That's awesome!

Thank you both!

So I just called the dr to see if I could get on a cancellation list and get this, they had 2 cancellations for this thursday!! and, we got an email this morning that VTO is available the rest of this week so I took that day off and got one of the appointments. Now I'll have some more answers on Thursday afternoon. Whew. I'm so glad I called.

Sending you love artie bean.

I hope your appointment goes well.