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retro_chic
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Default Sep 10, 2023 at 12:54 AM
  #1
I saw my T yesterday and spoke about a work issue that occurred this week which has been upsetting me and it ended up taking the whole session. T listened and shared her thoughts but it wasn’t what I needed. I think that maybe it’s my fault for not being open enough. Now I feel totally disconnected from her and alone. Between sessions i have this perfect fantasy version of T that I hold on to which is painful but also comforting in a way because it feels like a way of staying connected. Now I just feel a sort of emptiness. I am worried she agrees with the other party in the work situation we talked about and I fear she doesn’t like me.

What I really want from T is something she won’t be able to give me. I want her to hug me and tell me everything will be okay and for me to feel safe and able to accept her words and affection. I want her to make me feel like I’m okay and not the POS I think I am.
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Lostislost
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Default Sep 10, 2023 at 06:18 AM
  #2
I don't think you are a POS. I understand the feeling you have with your T though. I hate those sessions where it feels like they are just acting the role of a therapist, and they aren't fully there. I'm never sure if it's something going on with them, or me, or both. Hopefully it will be better next time, maybe you can tell her how it made you feel? I'm sure she didn't think badly of you though.
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Default Sep 11, 2023 at 05:51 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_chic View Post
I saw my T yesterday and spoke about a work issue that occurred this week which has been upsetting me and it ended up taking the whole session. T listened and shared her thoughts but it wasn’t what I needed. I think that maybe it’s my fault for not being open enough. Now I feel totally disconnected from her and alone. Between sessions i have this perfect fantasy version of T that I hold on to which is painful but also comforting in a way because it feels like a way of staying connected. Now I just feel a sort of emptiness. I am worried she agrees with the other party in the work situation we talked about and I fear she doesn’t like me.

What I really want from T is something she won’t be able to give me. I want her to hug me and tell me everything will be okay and for me to feel safe and able to accept her words and affection. I want her to make me feel like I’m okay and not the POS I think I am.

People in general serve that purpose, hugging and saying it'll be OK.. A T is there to listen and hello you come to you conclusions on what is right or wrong and sometimes that can be painful to us but it's g getter than a hug and a there there.
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redcog
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Default Sep 15, 2023 at 09:23 PM
  #4
Hi retro chic,

I think we've all been there. It sucks, and I'm sorry you're in one of those moments. I con completely understand that longing for comfort. I do want to say that not getting it should not reinforce any negative feelings though. I am sure she does not see you as a "pos". I think sometimes they truly wish they could give us that comfort we are looking for, and they know they can't, and that's where we feel that disconnect. I'm not sure if that makes sense to you? Just know that so many have been in your shoes. We get it. I hope your next session feels better. Maybe bring up the feelings of disconnect?

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Default Sep 22, 2023 at 06:56 PM
  #5
@retro_chic

I'm sorry that this happened to you. Things like that have happened to me too in therapy. It makes me so upset. I wish I knew what to say to help. It is hard to get over stuff like that. Hope you will be okay,
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