Afraid therapist wants to end our therapeutic relationship

For context, I’ve seen my therapist only 6 times so far and have been going for about a month. I’ve had a hospitalization since then and one in the recent past before seeing her, which she knows about. The last session we had, I felt like there was a weird energy and then she cancelled the next session on the day of the session and didn’t give a reason. I’ve had other therapists do this in the past and say something like “I’m sick so I have to cancel”. She didn’t give any reason so I have been spiraling. I’m afraid that maybe my situation is too intense as she is a newer therapist and maybe it’s too much. I’m also worried that something I’ve talked about in therapy has been potentially triggering to her. Like I’ve been talking about a lot of issues with my parents and what if she is grieving a parent right now or something. I’m really not sure how I would deal with it if she wants to terminate or refer me out. I feel like I got lucky to find her and I really trusted her but I don’t really know her at all. I’m just afraid I’ve negatively impacted her personal life and I don’t want to lose another therapist. My last therapist suggested we end working together after my last hospitalization so I’m worried it’s happening again. I’m partially posting this for support and to have a place to go tomorrow (our next session) when and if she does terminate therapy with me. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I suspect she canceled for a reason completely unrelated to you, and she might just be the type to not share reasons (especially if it was something like a personal, as she might not want her clients to be concerned or feel they should ask her about it),

If she does terminate, I'm sure it will be very painful for you. At the same time, if she's not in a place in her career where she can handle a client being hospitalized, it's better you find this out early on, as in now, rather than being abruptly dropped, say, a year or two into therapy with her. But if you had a hospitalization in the past, then she should have been aware that was a possibility and shouldn't have taken you on as a client if she didn't feel able to handle things like that. I really hope she doesn't terminate though.

Please update after your session. Sending good thoughts!

I'm sorry you are left in limbo with regards to this situation.

Even if it was 'personal', it's poor that your therapist just cancelled without giving any reason at all. Please don't think it's anything you said or did. If she is new/inexperienced/out of her depth, then she needs to take it to supervision. If your T is part of a larger organisation (as opposed to self-employed) is there anyone there you can ask about what is going on? If she is self-employed then it's a little more tricky, and you will need to ask her outright, if you feel able to do so.

I hope things work out okay for you.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, pixiedust, and I hope things work out for you.

Thanks for the well wishes. Luckily, my therapist didn’t terminate. We talked about how I jump to the worse case scenario even when that’s not what’s happening at all. It’s hard because I don’t know her very well but she also doesn’t know me very well. My last T was always very careful to not hurt my feelings if she had to cancel or something because she knew how sensitive I was. So maybe that’s worth talking about too.

Hi pixie- I definitely have struggled with going to the worst case scenario. It's really tough! If it's any help I was sure my current T was going to terminate about 100 times....but we've been working together for 7 years now. Sometimes, it just takes time to build that trust, and have reassurance that it is a stable/safe relationship. I know that doesn't make it any easier now, but some day, it won't feel so bad. Until then, know that you aren't alone in your feelings.

Red