Not enjoying Virtual Therapy

I much prefer the old days when I would go to a therapist's office and have a face to face session. Obviously I understand why that had to change during COVID.

But "virtual" therapy really seems to be here for the long haul, even though in person medical appointments - and many other things - have reverted back to being the norm. I definitely much prefer in person therapy. There's so much that you miss when you have therapy virtually.

I'm currently in a situation where I need to change therapists because my health care provider only offers shorter term blocks of therapy and I need something more long term. So I've been given an outside referral and it's with some new therapy app. I have to pick my own therapist from a list of pretty much hundreds of candidates. I am really not enjoying the process at all. It almost reminds me of a dating app. All the therapists have shiny, happy, coiffed/professional photos. I swear a couple of them have even used Instagram filters. I just find it super off putting.

Also, I can see from the times that are offered that some of these people are doing this on the side and they obviously have full time jobs elsewhere. At least, I assume that's the case since they offer 6 am appointments, or 9 pm appointments, and that's it.

I don't know. I just feel uncomfortable with this whole idea. Maybe it's because I'm old. But I am an avid user of the internet and social media, so it's not like I don't use technology. I just don't want to use technology for my therapy.

I get it that there are advantages: it makes therapy more accessible, and more convenient for some people. But I see more negatives than positives. I actually like having a reason to leave the house (eg, to go to my appointment). I spend so much time staring at a screen already (because I'm pretty addicted to the internet). And I really appreciate the "real" interaction I have with a therapist when it's a face to face session. But that seems to be a thing of the past now.

Can anyone else relate?

I know what you mean about their profiles. My last therapist's blurb proclaimed, "There is no 'perfect' patient" and he did NOT change it after he met me! Rude!

Actually i prefer the telephone. I grew up with a phone trained on my ear as a teenager in the 60's.

I’m lucky where I go they let you choose virtual or in person. As a deaf person who reads lips I can’t do virtual. So during covid I just checked in via the portal, thankfully I was stable so nothing changed. I only have a pdoc now, no therapist. I don’t know what would have happened if I’d been seeing a therapist, I know they too offer a choice of in person or virtual. I think people should be given a choice.

Too funny!

That's great you have a choice. I agree that ideally we should all have the option of in person. I honestly can't imagine opening up to anyone whose profile I've seen so far on this particular therapy app. And a lot of them sound more like life coaches, which is not what I need. It just strikes me as a weird direction for therapy to be moving in. But at least these people are human, I guess. No doubt it's only a matter of time before virtual therapy is with a virtual, ie AI therapist!!

My last therapist I was referred to by someone I trusted. It turned out to be a great therapist but if I had had to pick her out from her picture and profile I never would have picked her in a million years. Too up. If you know what I mean, perky and trite sounding. Her picture made her look like a Barbie doll and her caption said something nonsensical. But in real life she was down to earth and very professional.

That is so good to know! Yes, you described perfectly the reasons for my antipathy on viewing most of the profiles: way, way too perky! And way too perfectly groomed. It made me think of Instagram influencers rather than social workers or therapists grounded in reality. I'm so glad you had such a positive experience when you actually met your therapist

I honestly feel like some therapists are just taking advantage of virtual therapy at this point.

I never found therapy enjoyable at all. At best it was like chemo or dentistry without novocaine - something completely unpleasant and dangerous endured only in the hope something less unpleasant might result from having survived the ordeal. I found therapy worse than the reason I tried it out.

I've found therapy to be a mixed bag for sure. It's not for everyone. Like psychiatric meds though, if you can find the right fit, it can really make a positive difference. Unfortunately, that process can be like searching for a needle in a haystack for many of us, with a lot of bad experiences along the way!