Therapy making me worse

I don't know if this is a sign I need to take a break from therapy...

I feel it's bringing up stuff that does not need to be rehashed or things I would normally just let go if I did not have a therapy session. I feel even if I did not have an especially difficult week, I will find myself crying in therapy over something, and then I'll feel it kind of puts a damper on my day off (since my therapy sessions are on the day I don't work). I don't think there's anything wrong with my therapist. She is very good and gives good feedback. But I find therapy to be triggering or makes me dwell on things.

Just wondering if anyone has experienced this and if this is a sign therapy isn't for me right now?

I know the feeling

I know the feeling too. And I think this is a really valid concern. I get it that therapy often involves working through extremely difficult emotional issues. But if you routinely cry during your appointment and it effects your whole day negatively, then I think that is a sign that something needs to change. I've definitely been there. I would feel wiped out after major crying sessions in therapy and, like you say here, I don't even think all of those things needed to be brought up and re-hashed.

Do you think this is something you could actually discuss with your therapist? I kind of wish I had done that. I'm working with a different therapist now and I haven't had that experience. But if it happens to me again (that I keep crying in therapy and feel horrible afterwards) then I will definitely say something to the therapist next time.

I think it also depends what type of therapy you're having. In my experience "Talk Therapy" is where this problem has tended to arise. I personally seem to do better if we focus more on problems I'm having now in the present and try and find ways to help me manage them better or make changes or whatever. Because the reality is, that I can't change the painful experiences I had as a child (or even last week). What I need are tools to help me cope better with emotional triggers now in the present. At a certain point, it is no longer helpful to me to keep going over things that happened 40+ years ago.

I really hope you find a resolution to this!

I think skills work is most important BEFORE diving into the past (or even some present, future) issues. Skills work is the foundation of therapy. Without it, you will feel worse after doing hard work or even rehashing the past. AND doing what L and I call deep emotional tunnel work (or tramua work) can be very rewarding. I still get triggered, cry, have bad days, and can suffer from depression, SI, and SH thoughts. But I have the support and skills to cope with such things. I find the deep emotional tunnel work extremely rewarding, healing, and bonding. I have learned so much about myself and my parts. I'm better able to set boundaries and get my needs met. I'm starting to feel more whole, more free, more me.

So my suggestion is to work on skills first. Your past will always be there, so if you're not ready, don't worry about it right now. Get to a place where you can regulate your emotions and stay safe and stable. That is a reward in itself.

Sometimes therapy doesn't work at the time. The type of therapy can also have an impact. Some people don't do well with just talking about whatever (I certainly don't).

Here is my experience.

I went through this when I was 20. The therapist I was seeing at the time was a psychiatric nurse with additional training in psychotherapy. After every appointment I had with her, I left feeling worse. Eventually I started to question why I was attending the (pointless) appointments.

My decision to leave therapy had nothing to do with the therapist. She had a pleasant personality and was easy to talk to. The issues that made me leave were misdiagnosis and feeling unheard. Everything I said was interpreted to be signs of the diagnosis. It failed to describe my experiences, feelings and motivations. Under those conditions I realized it would never work out, so I called and left her a message. She called back and I told her, I would not be returning, because I felt unheard and misdiagnosed.

Years later I got a copy of the psychiatric outpatient clinic chart from the hospital. The lady wrote a respectful entry about our phone conversation. She stated my misdiagnosis claim and my decision to discontinue therapy. Then she added "patient feels misunderstood and unheard." This sums up my entire psychiatric experience (until I got very sick).

I returned to therapy years later. It's better this time. I believe the correct diagnosis, and feeling heard and respected made a huge difference.

Making you worse or highlighting the wounds.
For me the pain was there anyways. I spent a lifetime trying to avoid it, the pain but, it was messing my life up.. The trying to avoid,, ignore, drink it away, eat it away. Therapy's difficult. But it's not like I walked into therapy having a wonderful life. I walked into therapy because my life was s**t. Therapy couldn't make that worse it could only show me why and show me what I needed to bring out from within. Scary, painful but for me the only way through.

Fantastic point, TR.

The central question here seems to be 'How can the OP feel safe to do this work?'

Good therapy provides the container first and foremost, I believe.

Time. Therapy is a spiral. I might have chucked out all my issues but inside I was t there yet. It was just words. It's as the journey progressed that I was getting in deeper and deeper and by then the safety for me was the trust I had in T and the space we shared.

TR i totally feel that - 'therapy is a spiral' - it's like my issues are my issues are my issues and with each spiral or circling back or whatever, we seem to be digging deeper into them. i suppose that's why i keep going back to long-term t every time i've tried to stop...

Ugh I can totally relate! Therapy has ruined my whole year! I overestimate myself a lot and think I can handle diving in and then I’m a mess. Weeks ruined, Nightmares, sleepless nights, drastic appetite changes, SH, my cycle even got affected during my worst months even though I’ve always been extremely regular.
I suppose I kept telling myself that my life was **** anyway and I had to feel all this stuff and go through it to heal. I know the next step is telling my T all of this and allowing her to help me through it if it happens again. I just wasn’t able to even consider telling her how much I was struggling between sessions before.
I have no idea how to cope but I know I am going to learn. The stuff is there anyway and only the therapy process can make it bareable. That’s how I see it

Thank you. She is a CBT therapist. I think she's good at what she does, and she does not intentionally bring up anything triggering. But I feel somehow I get on stuff and things come out that I do not even spend time thinking much about. Then before I know it, I'm in tears. I thought I was getting better, but I think I've hit a point where I might be healthier without it, if that makes any sense. I like therapy and find it helpful, but I think there's a time and a place for me, and I'm questioning whether this is really the right time. However, I'm afraid of quitting therapy now, regretting it, and then feeling like need it.

Can you talk to your T about this? Maybe do a trial period without her with an open invitation if you decide to go back. L and T have an open invitation for me to leave and come back whenever I need to.

I am a thousand times happier than when I was dealing with a therapist. Therapy was a lot worse for me than why I hired one of those guys in the first place

How often do you see her? One option is to reduce sessions--like if you're weekly, try every other week--and see how that feels. If it seems like you're doing better in the weeks you don't have a session, that might give you your answer. Or decide to take a break, assuming your T is open to your coming back. You could try a set time, like a month or two months, setting up a session for the end of that time period to decide what to do. Either way, I would discuss this with your therapist.