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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13 3,532 hugs
given 
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Sep 24, 2024 at 02:26 AM
#961
*insert expletives here*
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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 LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,049
(SuperPoster!)
13 1 hugs
given
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Sep 24, 2024 at 10:33 AM
#962
I posted it into the wrong topic. I am not awake yet.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; Sep 24, 2024 at 11:48 AM.. |
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 LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, unaluna
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,945
(SuperPoster!)
13 68.9k hugs
given
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Sep 24, 2024 at 10:48 AM
#963
Quote:
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stopdog
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,782
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,761 hugs
given
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Sep 24, 2024 at 12:00 PM
#964
Will I actually meet with you on Thursday or will you have another excuse to do telehealth?
__________________ I'm Blue |
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| LonesomeTonight
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13 3,532 hugs
given
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Sep 25, 2024 at 12:30 PM
#965
I don't want to be nervous about seeing you tomorrow, and yet I am.
What do you remember about my current grief landscape? __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,616
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.2k hugs
given
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Sep 25, 2024 at 01:24 PM
#966
Dear T,
How could you not clearly remember the DMZ thing??? That analogy had a lasting negative effect on me. Not sure if we should talk about all this more on Friday or not. And it's OK that I got emotional near the end. I know you said you wish it was earlier, so we could have talked through it. But I'm not sure what you could have said to make that particular thing better, because it's just a reality of our relationship. It could have just led to me getting *more* upset. My releasing a few tears in the moment is OK. Love, LT |
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| LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13 3,532 hugs
given
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Sep 26, 2024 at 10:47 AM
#967
When I said I'd cried over 'other things' since I found out...
You knew what that meant, right? __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,838
5
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Sep 26, 2024 at 12:51 PM
#968
You are lovely.
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LonesomeTonight
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,782
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,761 hugs
given
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Sep 26, 2024 at 01:10 PM
#969
Sorry for suddenly projectile vomiting in your garbage can for the second time. Thanks for being so cool about it.
__________________ I'm Blue |
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| LonesomeTonight
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: England
Posts: 2,410
8 1,316 hugs
given
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Sep 26, 2024 at 03:13 PM
#970
Oh that was difficult to hear you say those words today. It was careless of you. You knew that. I know you regretted saying it, but I can't unhear it. All I can hope is that it doesn't stick in my brain. In one small way I am glad you said it, because the physical reaction from me was so sudden, so instinctive, so uncontrolled. A part of me had been worrying that I am putting it all on, but I realised starkly in that moment that this is deeper than me. This is definitely work that we need to do. But, yeah, that was a silly move. I did well to recover from it.
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| LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13 3,532 hugs
given
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Sep 28, 2024 at 10:56 AM
#971
Sticky notes and bullet points are all well and good.
My capacity to feel safe with you suffered from working online and holding that new information in for so long. It's really important to me that I don't feel forced to change the subject because of the way that we're working. How do I get my felt sense of safety with you back? __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,354
5 1,298 hugs
given
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Sep 28, 2024 at 03:34 PM
#972
You came up in thoughts the other day. I don’t know why. You and therapy have been out of my life since 2017. I think it’s just probably because I passed the business center where your office is located while running an errand the other day. I so wish the 30 grand I put in your pocket over those few years was sitting in my bank account right now. It’s scary being 45 years old with very little savings.
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| ArtieTheSequal, atisketatasket, iheartjacques, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,596
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,011 hugs
given
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Sep 28, 2024 at 03:57 PM
#973
Going on 8 months since we last met. I wish we'd had a better ending. I still struggle with wanting to say goodbye. I'm not angry anymore, I worked through and let go of that, but I miss having you to talk to. It doesn't help that I'm feeling rather broken again right now. It would be pointless to try to come back, and I don't want anyone else. The short-term t was okay, she got me on the right track to let go the anger, but she felt useless for anything else. I don't know. Maybe I just still miss the you that I now know doesn't exist anywhere but in my head. I don't know.
And ha. I can get away with saying that here. |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 184
6 225 hugs
given |
Sep 28, 2024 at 04:45 PM
#974
Dear J-
Thank you for your unwavering support, insight, and empathic presence during our twice a month sessions. After a lifetime of below average therapists I feel like I've finally found that perfect fit. I also really want to thank you for encouraging me to go live my life and resist that sickening dependence on therapy with which I came to you. It was a chokehold; an addiction that I have finally overcome. You put my needs and my health above your needs and your paycheck. You helped me see my strength and resilience. It feels so nice to know I can go and live my life untethered to weekly therapy while also having you be right there when I need you. Is this that secure base you're always talking about? P.S. I hope you never stop offering the hugs. Who knew a simple hug could be so life changing? I'm sorry it took me so long to finally ask for one! |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,596
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,011 hugs
given
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Sep 28, 2024 at 06:07 PM
#975
That's the thing, you know. The having someone to talk to. When I was at my sister's house, I could talk to both her and her bf, he struggles with mental health stuff too so he understands. I just can't talk to H about this stuff. He can't stand it when I'm not all happy and smiling. So I'm just trying to stay away from him until I feel better. I know I know I know. I do. But I can't. I just can't. And you know why.
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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New Member
Member Since Sep 2024
Location: Australia
Posts: 5
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Sep 28, 2024 at 11:36 PM
#976
I have seen you for ages but at the moment it feels too hard and complicated. I think I am gonna see someone else.
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,446
13 3,532 hugs
given
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Sep 30, 2024 at 04:33 PM
#977
Dear H,
Thank you for helping me figure out how I could approach things at work. I've been overthinking, as per. I wish we'd talked about my sense of holding it together by the skin of my teeth. I've been walking wounded since July, and I can't seem to explain the emotional toll of all this in a way that R can understand. Speak soon, Lost __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,596
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,011 hugs
given
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Sep 30, 2024 at 09:15 PM
#978
hi
(8 characters) |
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,596
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,011 hugs
given
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Oct 01, 2024 at 12:59 PM
#979
i hate how bad i feel
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| LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,616
(SuperPoster!)
9 76.2k hugs
given
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Oct 01, 2024 at 01:49 PM
#980
Dear T,
How is it that I handle something stressful like being rear-ended totally fine (at least, in the sense of remaining calm and collected, exchanging information, and still continuing on to my doctor's appointment)? But then I fall apart for something very minor, like your seeming to close the door without acknowledging me on the last day in the old building? I mean, I guess it's the two T's: transference and triggers... Love, LT |
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| ScarletPimpernel
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