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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,347
13 3,470 hugs
given |
#981
Everything feels like aftermath, all over again.
Are you aware that we only had one opportunity to talk about my grief in its current form? Doesn't feel like it, somehow. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,346
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,548 hugs
given |
#982
Please switch to telehealth tommorow.
__________________ I'm Blue |
LonesomeTonight
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,549
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,968 hugs
given |
#983
I feel so bad. Today the thought that world war 3 is likely going to happen in my lifetime and may have already begun has me terrified. I want to crawl into a deep cave and hide. Or call in sick and go hide under my bed.
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LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,346
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,548 hugs
given |
#984
Do you mind a shower in a can? My stomach is fine, I'm just dizzy from this new med.
__________________ I'm Blue |
Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,347
13 3,470 hugs
given |
#985
The surreal thing about all this is that you are the only person who can be in the same space with me, and yet I still feel the distance.
You were the only person I trusted with my innermost feelings for so long, then you disappeared when I needed you most. In Steve's absence, it is hard to access the level of self-belief I had. I believed in myself because he believed in me, and now you are asking me to figure out what remains? I took it on the chin when he died, somehow, because that was the only option. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,809
5 |
#986
I really hope I can describe what's happened and what I have done and what I have realised without sounding like a loony. In amongst all this is something touching and real about you and how I feel about you, but I am worried it's going to sound copy and paste. Maybe it is. Maybe all these things are copy and paste. But still.
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,664
(SuperPoster!)
10 7,092 hugs
given |
#987
Thanks for ending the conversation on me. I really appreciated it.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,346
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,548 hugs
given |
#988
I can't believe I got so jealous today of your other client. Wtf is wrong with me. I'm glad I controlled my emotions.
__________________ I'm Blue |
Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,549
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,968 hugs
given |
#989
it's interesting, L. just admitting to myself earlier this evening that i still struggle with letting you go, opened up another poem that just came and helped me let go a little bit more. teeny tiny little baby steps, maybe, but i'm getting over you.
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,346
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,548 hugs
given |
#990
I want your attention real bad right now. Idk whats wrong. Whats with the sudden shift in feelings for you, and why I have no energy and I'm taking 4-5 hour naps a day.
__________________ I'm Blue |
LonesomeTonight
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,346
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,548 hugs
given |
#991
Do you ever listen to the song Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men? I was listening to it last night and thinking of you.
__________________ I'm Blue |
LonesomeTonight
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,544
(SuperPoster!)
9 76k hugs
given |
#992
Quote:
Hope it's OK to respond--but I used to (still do, I guess) associate that song with my former marriage counselor. I even started crying one time when I heard it while out (after we terminated) from the line "Tell her that I miss our little talks." |
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Mountaindewed
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Mountaindewed
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,544
(SuperPoster!)
9 76k hugs
given |
#993
Dear T,
Hopefully, there won't be a therapy grenade later. But I'm trying to hold onto your comment about how your role is to be there to support me until I get to that point. When I find therapy to be less important, that I want to spend my time doing other things, except maybe as a regular check-in sort of thing. That point just feels so far off... I guess I just wanted to talk more about the attachment aspect, how I want to be able to feel that less. When I think you were just talking about therapy in general. It's not just about wanting therapy for me, but about wanting therapy *with you*. (I mean, I suppose I could just go get attached to some other therapist.) Maybe I should write about that (for myself/the memoir, not as an email), and then we can come back around to it on Monday? Of course...that's a difficult anniversary for me--I guess 29 years? (Happy 29th to me? In a sense...) Love, LT |
LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,346
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,548 hugs
given |
#994
I hope you don't fly off your rocker by that email I just sent. I have gone off the deep end and idk why. But I want to stab myself in the forehead with a fork right now from this migraine.
Ok so you messaged me 3 minutes after I messaged you. And you were fine with me. But I still don't get what my issue is. __________________ I'm Blue |
LonesomeTonight
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,664
(SuperPoster!)
10 7,092 hugs
given |
#995
Pdoc, Really? Politics now. First was insensitivity to my infertility then pushing religion. Now this? The only reason I stay with you is because you prescribe my anxiety meds and because finding a new one will be difficult. Maybe when your contract is up in January, you won't come back!
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
LonesomeTonight
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,346
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,548 hugs
given |
#996
Quote:
"Some days I dont know if I'm wrong or right" "Well tell your mind its playing tricks on you my dear." And "Its killing me to see you this way." __________________ I'm Blue |
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,544
(SuperPoster!)
9 76k hugs
given |
#997
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Mountaindewed
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Administrator
Community Support Team Member Since Apr 2009
Location: west coast, USA
Posts: 26,244
(SuperPoster!)
15 5,117 hugs
given |
#998
The new thread is here: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVIII
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unaluna
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