Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

unaluna · 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Anything you want to say to your T, big or small - post it here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I was actually happy today.

Possible trigger:

7.6 pounds lost at the gym over the past 24 days.

Girl thats fantastic! I unfortunately gained 15 lbs in 6 mos. My dr said that happens with insulin. I need to cut down on cookies!

LostOnTheTrail · Nov 14, 2023 at 04:38 PM

Trying to find the words has that sense of ripping the plaster/band aid off.

I want to but I can't seem to get there.

TheGal · Nov 14, 2023 at 05:39 PM

Looking forward to meeting you... you sounded nice on the phone.

Lemoncake · Nov 15, 2023 at 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Girl thats fantastic! I unfortunately gained 15 lbs in 6 mos. My dr said that happens with insulin. I need to cut down on cookies!

Thanks Una!

Possible trigger:

I do gym 6 or 7 times a week. Started in September two days after my birthday, but didn't weigh myself at the start which I wish I did now. I know I have an all or nothing personality.

You too can do anything in baby steps. The first 10 days are always the hardest.

I still eat everything and am not super strict with food.

Elio · Nov 15, 2023 at 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Girl thats fantastic! I unfortunately gained 15 lbs in 6 mos. My dr said that happens with insulin. I need to cut down on cookies!

Possible trigger:

that's nothing, I've gained 17lbs since I stopped seeing Dr. S (so 2 months) to be fair, it hasn't all been because of binging. I've been in post surgery rehab; unable to do any physical activity. This is the last week of the restriction.

Elio · Nov 15, 2023 at 12:53 PM

Dr. S - What to do regarding your email response? Do I say, thank you, I look forward to your email this weekend... have a great week.... or do I not say anything at all because ... just cuz on sit on email; not everyone does and not every email needs a response. Ughh I hate trying to figure out what is expected of me - and this is where you would say, do whatever would be helpful or what your heart says to do - which is actually to not reply. I know you don't check your email as often as before, you said so. So would you even see it before you send the one this weekend? Is it rude to not reply?

Lemoncake · Nov 15, 2023 at 04:35 PM

I deleted all of our session recordings from my laptop.

I do deserve better .

LostOnTheTrail · Nov 16, 2023 at 12:36 PM

So grateful that you brought our next session forward.

See you Monday.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 16, 2023 at 08:34 PM

That was such energizing work today!! Thank you. We were totally in our groove, eh? I could have kept going another couple of hours.

Mountaindewed · Nov 17, 2023 at 01:30 PM

I'm remembering 3 years ago with my transference T. When she kept wanting to send me to the hospital and then the session before thanksgiving then the big med **** up and iop and **** during the holidays and Brothers On A Hotel Bed on repeat.

Honestly current T I think I'm mainly just worried about this appointment with the surgeon on Wednesday. And I am in a lot of discomfort.

But even though things are mainly physical right now I'm still thinking of November 2020. Idk. I know those few months messed me up.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 17, 2023 at 04:41 PM

Hey. I figured out more of the dream I titled "L & R" - now I even more see that it's part of the whole. Wowza, I love working my dreams with you.

LonesomeTonight · Nov 17, 2023 at 04:44 PM

Dear T,

That was totally (negative) maternal transference coming out today. Where it just felt like you said, "You did it wrong." I found that I kept forcing myself to look into your eyes during that part of session. I was thinking after that maybe it was to reassure myself that it was you in there, and not my mom. And to feel the caring in them (which I did feel, after feeling what I interpreted as criticism/judgment initially).

I did appreciate your tissue box comment, how "we're at that point in the relationship." Felt connecting. Plus it was probably something that no one else outside the room would understand.

Love,
LT

LostOnTheTrail · Nov 18, 2023 at 12:07 PM

International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, and just about a month until Steve's birthday.

Then the festiveness, and then...a clean slate.

If I could find the words, I would use them...until then, I'm Feeling.

LostOnTheTrail · Nov 18, 2023 at 05:46 PM

And I was ambushed by That Song whilst watching The Voice tonight.

I can't handle 'Stand By Me' under normal circumstances, let alone today.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 18, 2023 at 08:55 PM

I did both of the active imaginations that you suggested. Good stuff, Maynard.

Mountaindewed · Nov 19, 2023 at 03:08 PM

I had a dream where I was at your house for dinner and I spilled gravy all over the place or some weird **** like that.

ArtieTheSequal · Nov 19, 2023 at 06:43 PM

I just went for a long walk after i got off work... it's a beautiful, windy afternoon... and I was given a poem while I sat among the cacti, typing the words into my phone as they came; then after I got back home finished it up and posted it to my blog.

The wind speaks, if only we will listen... and I was listening today.

Elio · Nov 19, 2023 at 09:57 PM

Dr. S, that was a blah response. I expected more. I guess I shouldn't have. I am not your responsibility anymore.

There is so much I wish I could talk to you about, explore, discuss, and share with you. I miss having that person.

Mountaindewed · Nov 20, 2023 at 11:27 AM

I'm really depressed today. Mainly about my health. I hope our session helps. I had that dream last night of me working again. The job I want is still seasonal. But I think the hours are great.

Elio · Nov 20, 2023 at 11:47 AM

Dr. P. I normally would be seeing you in about 45 mins. I feel very little about not seeing you. A weird hole in my schedule - that's about all. Talking things through with someone else helped me solidify that you are not right for me... or not right for me where I am now. How will you be next week when I tell you that I don't think we are a good match? Will you want to talk it through or will you be like, ok - and send me on my way. Weird to want both.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

My Support Forums

TheGal Poohbah Member Since Aug 2022 Location: The House Posts: 1,200 2 819 hugs given	Nov 14, 2023 at 05:39 PM #3 Looking forward to meeting you... you sounded nice on the phone.

Lemoncake Roses are falling. Member Since May 2017 Location: Seattle. Posts: 9,955 (SuperPoster!) 7 10.5k hugs given	Nov 15, 2023 at 04:35 PM #7 I deleted all of our session recordings from my laptop. I do deserve better . __________________

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,604 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,016 hugs given	Nov 16, 2023 at 08:34 PM #9 That was such energizing work today!! Thank you. We were totally in our groove, eh? I could have kept going another couple of hours.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,604 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,016 hugs given	Nov 17, 2023 at 04:41 PM #11 Hey. I figured out more of the dream I titled "L & R" - now I even more see that it's part of the whole. Wowza, I love working my dreams with you.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,604 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,016 hugs given	Nov 18, 2023 at 08:55 PM #15 I did both of the active imaginations that you suggested. Good stuff, Maynard.

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,804 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,769 hugs given	Nov 19, 2023 at 03:08 PM #16 I had a dream where I was at your house for dinner and I spilled gravy all over the place or some weird **** like that. __________________ I'm Blue

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,604 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,016 hugs given	Nov 19, 2023 at 06:43 PM #17 I just went for a long walk after i got off work... it's a beautiful, windy afternoon... and I was given a poem while I sat among the cacti, typing the words into my phone as they came; then after I got back home finished it up and posted it to my blog. The wind speaks, if only we will listen... and I was listening today.

Elio ............... Member Since Sep 2006 Location: in my head Posts: 2,913 18 8,780 hugs given	Nov 19, 2023 at 09:57 PM #18 Dr. S, that was a blah response. I expected more. I guess I shouldn't have. I am not your responsibility anymore. There is so much I wish I could talk to you about, explore, discuss, and share with you. I miss having that person.

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,804 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,769 hugs given	Nov 20, 2023 at 11:27 AM #19 I'm really depressed today. Mainly about my health. I hope our session helps. I had that dream last night of me working again. The job I want is still seasonal. But I think the hours are great. __________________ I'm Blue