[LostOnTheTrail]

Hi, all.

It's been a long time since I've started a thread, but I've got in my head about this, and I could do with some support in figuring it out.

Next month marks three years since my friend Steve ended his life.

During our most recent session, R said that she would be willing to accommodate if I wanted to have a session a different day.

There are five days between the day he died and the day that profoundly altered my life and my world view.

The anniversary of the day I got the news falls on one of R's quieter days, so I'm debating asking to reschedule.

She asked yesterday which is the harder day, and I think sitting in it on that Monday would probably lead me to call the helpline, so I am wondering whether to move my Thursday session to the Monday that week.

What gives me pause is two sessions close together, and then a 10-day gap.

Does anybody have any experience of rescheduling a session for a specific anniversary/trigger date that they would be willing to share?

Thanks for taking the time to read,

Lost

[LonesomeTonight]

I'll write a longer response later, but is it at all possible to add an extra session that Monday (so you'd have two that week), rather than ending up with the long gap?

[comrademoomoo]

Alternatively, the slightly longer gap between sessions might be helpful for you to have the space and time to reflect, feel, explore what comes up for you. Maybe the 10 days would be well placed to give you the chance to expand your internal experience without input from your therapist. It might be uncomfortable of course, but that's also where the growth starts.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Thanks LT and Comrade.

I've never done multiple sessions with R in the same week, so I don't know about that.

I'm intrigued by the notion of expanding my internal experience, Comrade - would you be able to elaborate?

[ScarletPimpernel]

Would you even like the extra session if possible? If yes, I'd definitely ask. This is an extremely hard time for you, and if you want the extra support and R can accommodate, then I bet that would be helpful.

[comrademoomoo]

I suppose something like what happens for you when you consider or feel things in an inter rather than intra way. Experimenting with your capacity to be alone with the feelings without shutting down, becoming overwhelmed, or whatever flavour of dysregulation you might ordinarily experience. You will know that you will come into contact with your therapist again so it could be an opportunity to safely consider yourself without any of the pretention or performance which can threaten to intrude when we interact with an other. You with you, rather than you with your therapist. It could be work which includes journalling, somatic stuff, art stuff, whatever it is which helps you access your private world - not in a general sense, but with a specific focus on the issues you need to look at over this period. Something new might emerge, a greater depth might reveal itself, whatever. The appeal for me is that I can have additional time to allow something to happen which I can then explore in relation to my therapist. As I re-read this, it all sounds like a load of pretentious wank, but it's difficult for me to describe the experience.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Thank you for all your input.

I think I've figured it out, in as much as I intend to make a decision nearer the time.
At the start of next week's session I'll fill R in on all this, and ask whether she can bear the Monday in mind.

Chances are I'll be in a better position to make the decision after the 'interim' session, anyway.