Embarrassing dream about T

I had a dream about my T the other night. In the dream we are having our session and I don’t remember too much of what we were talking about but I remember T being more open with self disclosure than usual. She said something about me being easier to read than usual and that’s why she was telling me these things.

Now, this is where it starts to get a bit weird. I didn’t notice the room we were in except to know it wasn’t the room I have therapy in real life as there was a bed in there. Once we were done talking, I was curled up in bed and T came next to me and held me/hugged me and kissed me on top of my head multiple times (it reminds me of the way I kiss my cat haha). At one point she was reading something to me, almost like a bedtime story but I think it was a salad recipe. Later we swapped positions and I was hugging her. I felt so safe, loved and comforted in that moment and I fell asleep. I woke up at what turned out to be 6 hours later at almost 11pm with T apologising that she lost track of time (she does have bad time management in real life but not this bad lol). Now this is the really weird and embarrassing part; when T told me it was time to go she was naked and had a penis. In the dream this was not shocking to me, it was if we had previously discussed that she was a woman with a penis and I guess being naked was normal too.

When I woke up I was both confused and mortified that I dreamt this. My T is psychoanalytic so would probably love to hear about it but I don’t know if I can share it. I am not sexually attracted to her and I don’t want her to think that I am. I do have strong maternal transference towards her though which we have spoken about. Any ideas on what this could mean? I feel like a weirdo for dreaming something like this

There are many many interpretations for dreams, so I'm not sure what it means for you. I can tell you I've had a similar dream about L. Both L and I are straight females, though I do find a woman's body to be attractive (not sexually, just pleasing to look at). In the dream, I had sex with her. We were in a room with tall windows that had long white flowing curtains that blew in a soft wind. The bed simply had white sheets. I told L and described the dream to her. She said she found it to be beautiful, intimate, and nurturing. I forget the complete interpretation, but it had to deal with my maternal transference with her and whatever we were dealing with in sessions. My dreams can often be directly translated to something that's going on for me. L and ex-T believed dreams are the brain's way of coping and processing feelings and situations. I tell L about any dream I remember, especially disturbing or embarrassing dreams because it disarms them, makes them less embarrassing, and doesn't allow them to have power over me. It always helps the disturbing dreams go away.

I had similar dreams accept I had the penis which in the dream was one of those old Rocket ice lollys and I was making love to her with it. 🙈🙈

Thank you both for your replies! I definitely think the dream was about maternal transference, the first part anyway, but I don't know why T was naked with a penis at the end. I don't think it was sexual as I was totally unbothered by it in the dream. In our last session, we were talking about my intimate relationships (or lack there of) and T asked me what I want out of a relationship. I said I wasn't really sure because when I imagine myself in a relationship it's like a different version of myself and the things I enjoy in the fantasy are things that would actually terrify me in real life. I'm wondering if the things I want in a relationship are the same things I fantasise about in the maternal transference (feeling loved, safe and protected). I will have to try and put my embarrassment aside discuss this in my next session. Hopefully T doesn't think I'm weird.

At least for me, sex in a dream never has anything to do with the act of sex, but the meanings behind sex. Like you listed: loved, safe, protected. Also like I listed: nurturing and intimate. It could be things we want or things we already feel or both! Like maybe you feel some feelings about your T AND you are craving them in your life as well? And maybe your fantasies are similar to your dreams. L is big on knowing my fantasies. I do not want to live out all of them. Like I fantasize about stabbing H in the heart when he hurts me, but I would never want that or do that. I have a lot of fantasies about L, but hat doesn't mean that I want those things.

I've been thinking about the penis part of your dream, and I'm just going to throw it out there. If I'm off course, I apologize. Could that part of your dream have to do with your T? Maybe she's an authority figure to you? Or maybe that part of the dream symbolized how she can't be maternal or nurturing to you? Or maybe more directly, maybe she's more masculine to you in some way?

I've had intimate dreams about my T before as well. What's really interesting to me is that they tend to have a theme of him coming on to me (sexually and/or romantically) and my rejecting him. Which I'm sure has some sort of significance. Like taking back power, turning the tables. Where he's the vulnerable one (though I imagine he represents others). I've told him about one or two, but didn't go into all the details because he tends to get very visibly uncomfortable with such things (if they're about him--talking about sex in general is fine), and that makes me anxious. He has said though that he doesn't put much stock in dreams.

Putting a warning on this, just in case, as it describes one explicit thing and one gross thing I did *not* tell him about that one! I may have told him about the beginning part, where he had to run to the ATM in the middle of my session.

For you, I can't know how your T will react if you shared it. It definitely seems like there would be some good themes to discuss, and with your T being psychoanalytical, she'd be more likely to want to examine them with you. You could always share the first part of the dream and leave out the other part about her anatomy if it feels uncomfortable.

Edited to add that I'm a (mostly) heterosexual (married) female and my T is a (presumably) heterosexual male--well, he's married to a woman at least! Though I've had a couple dreams lately about intimacy with random women (not anyone I know), so not sure what that's about either.

That's an interesting thought; I do see T as an authority figure. We have also discussed my maternal transference and how I wish I was one of her daughters. Obviously that can't happen it is possible the last part of the dream symbolises that. When she was hugging me/holding me in the dream it wasn't in a sexual way, it was definitely more maternal.

Thank you for sharing this. It has been comforting to know strange dreams about our Ts are quite common. As embarrassing as it is, I think I will need to share the last part of the dream as it is the part I am most confused about. The first time I shared a dream with T, I told her I was embarrassed by it and she said, smiling, "you know this is what I do, right?". So I think she would be okay hearing about this dream.