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Mountaindewed
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Default Dec 20, 2023 at 03:19 PM
  #1
My therapist switches from in person to telehealth about every other week. She says she is sick. But she always sounds and seems fine and is sitting up and eating chips or something. Last week she said she "should" be ok enough to be in person tommorow.

I just feel like therapists sometimes take advantage of telehealth now.

What are your thoughts on this whole telehealth thing?

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Default Dec 21, 2023 at 08:23 AM
  #2
I would have a hard time not knowing what to expect each week.
Does she say how she feels sick?

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Default Dec 21, 2023 at 08:49 AM
  #3
I like having the option of remote sessions for a variety of reasons, but I choose when the sessions are in person and when they are remote. I would not like it if my therapist was deciding when we would work remotely (although I would accept occasional circumstances where she stated that we needed to switch due to illness or some other significant matter).

I am not sure how therapists can take advantage of remote sessions as it's a viable way of working. I think the important thing is to tell her that you feel that she is taking advantage - your experiences of being taken advantage of seems like fruitful therapeutic material. It is not your place to decide whether she is ill or not and especially not based on what she is eating. However, you could tell her that you don't believe that she is ill because that is about your process and how you trust/don't trust people. If you don't like having remote sessions, you need to speak to her about it.
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Default Dec 21, 2023 at 09:12 AM
  #4
One can sit up and eat and still be sick. I have covid now and I look just fine. But if you don’t want tele appts, tell her.

Not sure why she’s eating chips at the session. Weird
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Default Dec 21, 2023 at 09:13 AM
  #5
I'd rather use telehealth than nothing. I need my current therapist, so I'll take a session with her any way I can get it!

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Default Dec 21, 2023 at 10:44 AM
  #6
I definitely see how a therapist could "take advantage" of teletherapy, especially if they're doing those sessions from home (and would be meeting in an office). It could be that they just don't feel like going into the office that day.

I'm lucky in that sense in that my T *prefers* to work in his office, as he says it can be more distracting to be at home (especially if his wife and/or kid are there). So he only does virtual sessions when he has to, like if he's ill enough that he wouldn't want to risk infecting clients, but still feeling OK enough to work. He's also had a few--including a couple last-minute ones--for reasons that he didn't disclose, and those bothered me some. I know he's entitled to his privacy and he doesn't want to make things about him vs. about me--but it can feel a bit arbitrary if he doesn't give some sort of reason (even a pretty vague one), like he or another family member (or pet) isn't feeling well or they had a pipe leak, and he has to let the plumber in.

That being said, I know you said your T doesn't seem sick. However, there can be invisible sort of illnesses where she might look OK and even eat, but not feel well. I get migraines, and it can bother me more to go outside on a sunny day. And her office area might have bright lights. So at home, she can control the lighting. Or it could be she felt bad when she woke up, then took medication and is feeling OK enough to function, but knows it could come back if it pushes herself too hard. Or it could be something like fibromyalgia. Or a GI issue like Crohn's or IBS that is flaring, and she feels better being close to a private bathroom.

But if it's bothering you, I would bring it up. She may not realize that you have a preference and could try to be in the office if it's important to you--or, depending on how flexible your schedule is, maybe she could try to reschedule you for a day when she'll be in if she has to do telehealth one day--or at least give you that option.

Also, it would bother me if my therapist was eating during session in general, unless maybe they asked me first (drinking coffee or water doesn't bother me, as I also have water during session). Once, when I came in, my T was setting a half-eaten apple on his desk. I said he could finish it if he wanted, and he said he's just wait. It would be distracting to me if he was eating. But at the time, I thought maybe he'd missed lunch, so didn't want him to be distracted by hunger either. So if that bothers you, I'd mention it. You've also mentioned having some issues around food/eating, so I could see it being particularly bothersome, so I'd think she'd want to be sensitive to that.

Sorry, that ended up kind of long! Tldr; I'd speak up about it bothering you.
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