Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

stopdog · Mar 28, 2024 at 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup

Re the blurring: for those of you who think it's normal, think about the facts that a) it doesn't cut out perfectly around you and you can see a little background clearly floating around the person, that just looks weird, and b) it can bug and show the background. I have had video calls for 10 years before the pandemic and it was so normal to see a cleaned up background, I personally even have invested thoughts into what I display in the background of my camera. The blurring only came on as people who had to work from home had to have a background and didn't want to show it. This was an absolute non-issue before, and now it's like "oh, what might he have that" and then hit the screenshot button as soon as it bugs. If you don't invest into a greenscreen, just put your normal room in the background, have a small shelf with a few cute things on it that aren't too personal and you're all set.
Edit: if you are in a different from usual location, I understand blurring a bit, though it's a joke for privacy. But I see regular business people at their office blurring their background. There's a shelf with a few folders there, come on, nothing to hide! Eyes have developed to deal with things in the background of a person talking to you...

But how is a plain dull shelf different from it blurred? I really don't understand how it is being a concern for people dealing with a therapist - why would a blurred background upset anyone? I am in a field where no one would be in my office - I meet clients in a conference room and usually students as well when I can - not in my personal office. Files are confidential - I don't want people seeing them on my desk and I don't want to have to clear my desk if I am zooming a lot. Luckily I almost never have to zoom anyone anymore - but I think the different background/blur is very useful for when I do. For us, there was a picture of the courtroom we could use as a background so most of us did that.

LonesomeTonight · Mar 28, 2024 at 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup

Re the blurring: for those of you who think it's normal, think about the facts that a) it doesn't cut out perfectly around you and you can see a little background clearly floating around the person, that just looks weird, and b) it can bug and show the background. I have had video calls for 10 years before the pandemic and it was so normal to see a cleaned up background, I personally even have invested thoughts into what I display in the background of my camera. The blurring only came on as people who had to work from home had to have a background and didn't want to show it. This was an absolute non-issue before, and now it's like "oh, what might he have that" and then hit the screenshot button as soon as it bugs. If you don't invest into a greenscreen, just put your normal room in the background, have a small shelf with a few cute things on it that aren't too personal and you're all set.

Edit: if you are in a different from usual location, I understand blurring a bit, though it's a joke for privacy. But I see regular business people at their office blurring their background. There's a shelf with a few folders there, come on, nothing to hide! Eyes have developed to deal with things in the background of a person talking to you...

Thanks, CNS. It's interesting hearing about how video calls were pre-pandemic. I'd experienced a few work ones before that, but nothing regular. And I think everyone was at their respective offices (well, cubicles!) at the time (we were meeting with some people on the opposite coast), no blurring.

I do think part of it was that even though the background was blurred, I could still see a general shape of it (I think it was a bed?), and so part of my brain automatically was like, "Hm, what's there?" And so it took energy to try to push that part away and focus on what we were discussing.

I had emailed him about it Monday evening, and he said he could figure out a spot with a neutral background for today's session. Which he did (some sort of desk), and I do think it helped. I know it may not seem logical to many people why it helped--it just did. I thanked him, and he said it wasn't a big deal to do at all.

LonesomeTonight · Mar 28, 2024 at 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

here's Orville (I named him after my Grandpa) pre-restoral. The typewriter restoral guy said it appears to have been factory refurbished probably in 1930 going by the color. It was originally black. i found the serial number on it that does identify it made around 1925.

That's cool, Artie! Hope you're able to get it working and do some writing on it.

stopdog · Mar 28, 2024 at 06:16 PM

I keep forgetting that it is a religious todo for some this sunday. But I am planning a hike now so hopefully people will be off doing their whatever they do on sunday (growing up we ate ham and deviled eggs) and not on the trail

unaluna · Mar 28, 2024 at 06:46 PM

Artie, beautiful typewriter!

stopdog · Mar 28, 2024 at 08:11 PM

Old typewriters can be fun. If you are going to use it, I suggest going ahead and making sure you can still get ribbon/roll or know how to add ink to the roller/ribbon (which you may already be able to do).

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 28, 2024 at 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Old typewriters can be fun. If you are going to use it, I suggest going ahead and making sure you can still get ribbon/roll or know how to add ink to the roller/ribbon.

Yeah, that's one of the questions I'll have for the guy I'm taking it in to. I won't bother having him try to restore it if I can't get ribbon; will just have him clean it up a little probably. It's very dusty. The ribbon in it is probably at least 40 years old; my grandfather passed in 1983 and after that it was just on display in my mom's house and not used.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 28, 2024 at 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Artie, beautiful typewriter!

I have such wonderful memories of weekends I spent with my grandparents when I was young; my grandpa would let me type on it sometimes when he had time to supervise, and then when I got older, he let me type my poems on it by myself. That was around the same age my grandma taught me to crochet, so I'd use the typewriter while grandma was making dinner, and then we'd crochet in the evenings while grandpa watched ed sullivan on tv.

I'm just so very grateful to have it.

I'm getting sappy now. Just finished my 2nd glass of wine. I don't drink very often anymore so it's hitting me pretty good. I want to run away from home and go visit my sisters and just be enveloped in family for a while. Well, I get to see my son in early May, so that will have to do for a while....

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 28, 2024 at 09:26 PM

My neighbors are having a very loud party right now I think I'm gonna pour me another glass of wine and head over there. Do people still crash parties when they're not invited? lol

unaluna · Mar 28, 2024 at 09:36 PM

I think its like trees hanging over your property. If the party noise comes onto your property, then...?

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 28, 2024 at 09:39 PM

yes! i like the way you think.

comrademoomoo · Mar 29, 2024 at 08:52 AM

I am going for my first swim of the year this afternoon. Going for a walk and then a swim somewhere, maybe not in my usual spot as it has become too busy for my liking. In previous years, I have swam throughout the winter, but I didn't do that this year because it is pretty brutal and I am trying to be more gentle in more aspects of my life. Anyway, I have just checked the sea temperature around here. 6 degrees so not quite ice water temperature, but not far off. I am going to lay the fire before I set off so an easy light when I return! I feel cold already.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 29, 2024 at 12:33 PM

Have a good swim moo!

ArtieTheSequal · 01:03 PM

H is out on a 7+ hour job, and I just put a batch of strawberry/blueberry muffins in the oven. The house is blissfully quiet. Now I am settling in at my computer to start working on today's poem, while the muffins bake.

edited to add a pic of said muffins fresh out of the oven:

LonesomeTonight · Mar 29, 2024 at 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

H is out on a 7+ hour job, and I just put a batch of strawberry/blueberry muffins in the oven. The house is blissfully quiet. Now I am settling in at my computer to start working on today's poem, while the muffins bake.

edited to add a pic of said muffins fresh out of the oven:

They look tasty!

NP_Complete · Mar 30, 2024 at 11:30 AM

This place has been quiet lately.

Do you ever feel like you therapist lets you languish in silence while in session? I know they're not supposed to work harder than us, but when you're sitting in silence, told them upfront you had low energy and you're occasionally sighing, should they try to engage you more or am I just being too sensitive? I was sitting there struggling with some heavy emotions. I know he can't read my mind. I feel like he didn't even want to try with me.

Lemoncake · 02:44 PM

Art you should write the memories with your grandparents out and get them printed out. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but it would be a lovely gift to yourself and a way to honour your grandparents.

Lemoncake · Mar 30, 2024 at 02:12 PM

Silence if done well can be a tool for exploration and reflection. If you're feeling like P is not engaging with you enough, it's important to bring this up in your session. Your therapist should be willing to explore how you're feeling and adjust their approach accordingly.

Lemoncake · Mar 30, 2024 at 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

This place has been quiet lately.

Yep it has been.

unaluna · Mar 30, 2024 at 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Art you should write the memories with your grandparents out and get them printed out. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but it would be a lovely gift to yourself and way to honour your grandparents.

And the cover photo should be the one of you on the rocks, stretching out your hand towards granmama.

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,871 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Mar 28, 2024 at 06:46 PM #745 Artie, beautiful typewriter!

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Mar 28, 2024 at 09:26 PM #749 My neighbors are having a very loud party right now I think I'm gonna pour me another glass of wine and head over there. Do people still crash parties when they're not invited? lol

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,871 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Mar 28, 2024 at 09:36 PM #750 I think its like trees hanging over your property. If the party noise comes onto your property, then...?

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Mar 28, 2024 at 09:39 PM #751 yes! i like the way you think.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Mar 29, 2024 at 12:33 PM #753 Have a good swim moo!

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Mar 30, 2024 at 02:02 PM #757 Art you should write the memories with your grandparents out and get them printed out. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but it would be a lovely gift to yourself and a way to honour your grandparents. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." Last edited by Lemoncake; Mar 30, 2024 at 02:44 PM..