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Member
Member Since Mar 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 36
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#1
Today I saw my therapist for the last time after six YEARS. He retired after finally settling on the end of March as the best time for him. The goodbye was hard for both of us, though he choked up more than I did. He said I could keep in touch with him, and I will every now and then. After, I met up with a friend to play games for a few hours and had a great time, then I visited my folks.
When I came home and closed the door behind me I could finally cry. And boy, have I been crying. I keep thinking about those last few minutes with him. About everything he is done for me. How I'm strong now. How I'm able to stand on my own two feet like I should have always been able to do. How to cry, be happy. And so many other things. I've really broken down and bawled my eyes out tonight, as if someone had died. Thankfully not the case. I just feel sad and like I'm going to miss him a lot. My husband says this is completely normal but I just don't know. I wonder if I'm being an overgrown cry baby. |
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ArtieTheSequal, Discombobulated, ScarletPimpernel, Taylor27
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Member Since Jan 2009
Posts: 544
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#2
You are definitely not being a crybaby. I would assume that after 6 years it was probably one of the most ‘intimate’ relationships you’ve ever had.
Give yourself a lot of room on this one , it’s unlike any other. I am sort of in the process of ending therapy after 7 years. It’s hard to say the least. __________________ wheeler |
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,029
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#3
I felt an enormous amount of relief when I quit. I never found therapy to be fun, useful for why I hired them in the first place, or helpful in any way that other free humans could not have done. But for those who thought it was useful or that the therapist was someone they liked -then I think it would be not unusual to miss them.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 5,108
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#4
It’s normal, especially given the length of time you were in therapy and the bond that was created.
I only had a short course of therapy but I felt fearful at the end, like I was worried I might not cope, my therapist said I would and I was ready in her opinion. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 1,480
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#5
I felt relief, a bit of sadness, happiness, accomplishment.
__________________ True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,643
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#6
I haven't ended therapy with any T yet, though I'll do it multiple times the next few months probably. Sounds completely normal to me, this was an important person in your life and your mourning them being there less and in a different way. Grief is not just for when people die, it happens when our circumstances change.
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Discombobulated
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,808
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#7
I felt accomplished. I had gotten to the place in my life that I could manage my stressors on my own without a therapist. That was a huge change for me.
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Member
Member Since Sep 2022
Location: Eire
Posts: 172
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#8
I finished after 20yrs. I didn't get a proper finish because of covid. It was my decision to finish.. .... I was sad and relived at the same time And a little bit hurt and angry... That was 4yrs ago... I can still feel those emotions but they're very quite now and as soon as I've feel them they're gone... I don't think I she'd tears... Not because there's anything wrong with that I just never felt like crying. Just a hurt heart at the safety I was leaving ... I ask myself would I go back at this point in my life and the answer is no, so the feelings must just be a natural part of leaving when the time is right for "you"..
Last edited by Therapy reviewed; Apr 04, 2024 at 11:34 AM.. |
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Discombobulated
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Member Since Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 535
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#9
No you're definitely not being a cry-baby. It is a loss. We naturally grieve loss, whether it be death, retirement, moving away etc..
Six years is a long time to have worked with someone, and you likely got to know each other pretty well. Mourning the loss of that therapy relationship will take time. Give yourself the time and space to grieve for it, it sounds as though that's what you need right now, and stop with the beating yourself up over it. __________________ To the world you might be just one person; but to one person you might be the world. |
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,546
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#10
I recently ended therapy with a long-term (over 12 years) therapist. My choice. She said a couple of pretty hurtful things that led me to realize that I've basically been trapped in a cult of 2 for probably half of that time. She helped me a lot in the beginning. But then somehow it became something else and I was trapped (because of my attachment to her I guess) and couldn't get out. Thankfully she said those hurtful things that broke the spell and I was able to tell her I needed a break. I haven't told her yet that I've decided it's a permanent break. And I don't think I'm going to either, I don't owe her anything beyond the thousands and thousands of dollars I gave her over the years.
That being said, even though I'm the one that ended it, it's still been very painful and hard and you are definitely not being a crybaby at all. It's a huge loss of an emotionally intimate, important relationship (that's how mine felt). It's going to take time to accept and heal from the loss. I've been doing a lot of writing through my feelings, which helps somewhat. I wish you all the best in navigating this. |
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