FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,846
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#1
The T I've been with for 6 years is moving his office in a couple months. It's not that far away, and will actually be slightly closer for me. But I'm pretty attached to his current space. And he's said his new one will be "75% smaller," too (his current one is quite large).
I struggled when ex-T and ex-MC changed offices (even though it was literally up the block). I'm thinking it might help to honor/say good-bye to the old space, including the work we did there, and welcome the new one. I'm trying to figure out what might feel meaningful that my T would also agree to. Ideas? I know another therapist in his office suite burns candles, so I assume they're allowed. So that's a thought, something involving a candle (for good-bye and/or welcome, depending on rules in new building), but I'm not sure what specifically to do. And he has a small glass fish in his office that I gifted him for the 5-year thera-versary, I wondered about asking if I could be the one to place it in the new office. But I don't know what he'd say to that. (If I hadn't already given him something for his office, I'd have considered that, but not trying to add another thing, particularly with it being smaller.) Any other thoughts? Is there something you did--whether with a therapist, when leaving an old home/moving into a new one, etc. that you found to be meaningful? (I feel like this has been discussed before, but it seems like a difficult topic to search. Feel free to link if you know of a thread.) |
Reply With Quote |
LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,427
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,451 hugs
given |
#2
I can relate. L's not moving offices, but she's going to redecorate it taking out bookshelves, a desk, artwork, and maybe her chair. And she's adding at least a couch. She wants her room to accommodate a lot of people for when they do group meetings. And they have someone else designing the space! I told her I'm not bringing back any of her things until I know they'll have a home.
I think lighting a candle is an awesome idea. L wants us to do an extra session or a longer session to say goodbye to everything that's leaving. I don't know how to do that either. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
LonesomeTonight
|
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,846
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#3
Just realized that I said "75% smaller," when I meant "75% the size of his current office." That's what I get for making a post on like 4 hours of sleep! I am terrible at actual dimensions, but let's say the office is 12 feet long now--the new one would be 9 feet long (dimension the other way is staying the same).
|
Reply With Quote |
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,846
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#4
Quote:
I'm glad you understand, Scarlet. And sorry you're dealing with the office being remodeled--I see where that would be distressing, too. That makes sense to hold onto your things until you know where they'd go. I hope you'll be able to do a longer session (or an extra one). When is she making the change? Maybe we can share ideas with each other. You and L already have some rituals, so maybe it will be easier to come up with one that works for both of you. |
|
Reply With Quote |
ScarletPimpernel
|
ScarletPimpernel
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,816
7 6,364 hugs
given |
#5
I took photos of his old office. He knew I was not feeling great about moving. I was the last client in his old office and I think he was feeling a little sad about leaving too. I bought him a candle as an office warming gift. Still sitting there so I'm not sure if he likes it or not even though it was a pretty tame Sea Salt scent.
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
LonesomeTonight
|
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,846
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
I discussed this with a friend the other day and was saying maybe he'd be willing to sit in his chair for a pic, as long as his face was covered in some way. Which led to my googling silly masks he could wear. With the candle you gave him, maybe he didn't want to burn it, as then it would get used up? |
|
Reply With Quote |
Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,753
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#7
Instead of a mask it could also just be a book opened fully.
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,846
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#8
That's a good thought. I mean, ideally, it would just be him without anything in front of him. But thinking of compromises, and that seems a good one. Or just the legal pad (notepad) had tends to have sitting near him). As I'm now thinking--wait, which book? Or open his laptop and hold it in front of his head. Or hold up a plant. Cover his face with his hands. Maybe we can brainstorm. And make it fun? Unless he says definitely no to any of it. Last edited by LonesomeTonight; Apr 19, 2024 at 02:47 PM.. Reason: making a word plural |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Sep 2022
Location: Uk
Posts: 122
1 2 hugs
given |
#9
My old T moved after 16yrs of seeing her in "our room"... Becuse I am highly attuned to surrebdings I knew where every book was in get large bookshelves so whrn she moved she put the books back exactly (well almost) the same as, they had been in the old room.. She sent me a photo and I replied "almost thy+e same" and she replied "well, you're right!! I lost 1 book in the move and I'm amazed you knew, that!"
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
LonesomeTonight
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,583
7 1,306 hugs
given |
#10
I'd probably take pictures of things. And ask him to bring some of the things to the new office, like plants, his (very bad and weird) art posters, stuff like that.
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 104
8 89 hugs
given |
#11
When my T redecorated his office (substantially), he sent me photos of it before my session, so I could see it and get a little bit used to it before setting foot in it. He also allowed me to give him a gift, a decorative item that went well with his updated office. He also sent me photos of the old space (because I had neglected to take any). All of those things helped immensely, but it was still a hard transition. I couldn't even sit in his new chairs for a few sessions. I just sat on the floor with my back against the wall, looking at them. (So weird how important the space itself, and the things in it, become.) He was very patient and understanding.
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,846
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given |
#12
Quote:
Sorry it was so difficult for you. Did it just take time to adapt, or was there some particular thing you did? I get what you mean about the space being so important. I do wonder if some of this is that my parents are still in the house I grew up in, so I'm not used to change. I was thinking of asking if he could show me photos of the new space. i get the sense (from asking) that he's going to make the move over a weekend, so even if he could, say, text me a pic of the new office before my first session in it, that would help. Or send a pic of it empty, but I'm not sure that would be as helpful. |
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 104
8 89 hugs
given |
#13
Quote:
I don't know that it's about not being good at change. I moved five times in childhood and would say I'm relatively adaptable to change. For me, it had to do with a sense of safety. Because of trauma, I never really carried a sense of safety within me, and didn't really feel it in the world, either. And it wasn't until we worked together for a long time, that I felt a sense of safety. And I felt it in his office like I felt nowhere else in the world. So to have that space disrupted was really hard. But ultimately, I think it was good, because it helped me see that it wasn't really the space that was safe, but the relationship, and also, that I have the ability to keep myself safe and/or get back to safety (that lesson has taken a long time to learn, and his space changing was only a small part of learning that, but I think it's a critical lesson). |
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
LonesomeTonight
|
Reply |
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
Therapist holding space | Psychotherapy | |||
Has the therapist told you it is/has been a privilege/honor/other to work with you? | Psychotherapy | |||
For those of you interested in therapist's offices | Psychotherapy | |||
Attachment toward my therapist/Therapist moving away | Romantic Feelings Toward My Therapist | |||
Moving Out??? What Are Your Thoughts | Other Mental Health Discussion |