Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,989 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.3k hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2024 at 02:25 PM
  #981
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
I wouldn’t classify office stuff as urgent to justify disturbing your session twice, but it sounds like you handled the interruptions and the uncertainty around Dr. T's office move quite well. It's great to hear that you feel more capable than you might have in the past.

Thanks, Lemon! That's nice to hear.

I think the office stuff may have been urgent in the sense that it could have been postponing his move. So he might have had to contact the moving company to postpone, his coworkers, etc. Though it seems like it could have waited until after my session maybe?
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,934
12
3,220 hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2024 at 03:10 PM
  #982
I should say so, considering you're paying for his time!

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
Lemoncake
Roses are falling.
 
Lemoncake's Avatar
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,816 (SuperPoster!)
7
10.3k hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2024 at 03:27 PM
  #983
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Thanks, Lemon! That's nice to hear.

I think the office stuff may have been urgent in the sense that it could have been postponing his move. So he might have had to contact the moving company to postpone, his coworkers, etc. Though it seems like it could have waited until after my session maybe?
I know it’s all my own stuff about boundaries, but It just seems disrespectful to interrupt your process even if he did give you extra time at the end. A one off could be excusable, but twice in the same session?

It’s his responsibility to manage his business, without it impacting on you.

__________________

Last edited by Lemoncake; Jun 27, 2024 at 03:58 PM..
Lemoncake is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete
East17
Veteran Member
 
East17's Avatar
 
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 522
10
39 hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2024 at 04:30 PM
  #984
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
I know it’s all my own stuff about boundaries, but It just seems disrespectful to interrupt your process even if he did give you extra time at the end. A one off could be excusable, but twice in the same session?


It’s his responsibility to manage his business, without it impacting on you.
Goodness you wouldn't like my T then.... Couch 248: Curiouser and Curiouser

I often have interrupted sessions; the most I ever had in one session was five, and they were all different things (she did apologise and make up the time at the end).

Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk

__________________
To the world you might be just one person; but to one person you might be the world.
East17 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
 
Thanks for this!
NP_Complete, stopdog
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,989 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.3k hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2024 at 09:32 PM
  #985
Quote:
Originally Posted by East17 View Post
Goodness you wouldn't like my T then.... Couch 248: Curiouser and Curiouser

I often have interrupted sessions; the most I ever had in one session was five, and they were all different things (she did apologise and make up the time at the end).

Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk
Ugh, I'd really struggle with that. It seems she should do her best to keep the disruptions out of the time you're paying for.

One positive thing about my ex-T is that she kept her phone in her purse turned off during session.

Ex-MC always had his phone on (and not on silent, so I'd hear very clearly when he got texts, rather than just a buzz) and would sometimes say "I just have to check the number." The worst was a couple times when he said "I have a couple potential emergencies brewing, so I have to check." He worked with high-risk teens (plus, at the time, his wife being sick). Those times were difficult because it felt like any moment, he might get a text and have to end the session. Once, he did take a call from a client, thinking it was an emergency (he stepped out of the room), then came back a minute later saying it was not an emergency.
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,989 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.3k hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2024 at 09:35 PM
  #986
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
I know it’s all my own stuff about boundaries, but It just seems disrespectful to interrupt your process even if he did give you extra time at the end. A one off could be excusable, but twice in the same session?

It’s his responsibility to manage his business, without it impacting on you.

Yeah, it was difficult, especially with him turning off both video and audio, so I was just there, having no idea what was going on or how long he'd be. It might have felt a bit different had it been in person and he'd stepped into the hall or something. The one time, he put audio on for a second and said, "Sorry, LT, I just need one more minute." Which, it's good he updated me. And I understand it was probably something urgent. But I wish it could have waited.
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Lemoncake
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,989 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.3k hugs
given
Default Jun 27, 2024 at 09:38 PM
  #987
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail View Post
I should say so, considering you're paying for his time!

Yeah...he did make it up, but it made the session feel disjointed. We had to figure out what we were talking about and do our best to resume. It wasn't anything particularly intense, thankfully.

Unlike that session where we were trying to work through a rupture when his wife called in the middle to alert him to a tornado warning and try to convince him to step out of his office until it was over. That call he took right in front of me, which was a different level of awkward!
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Lemoncake, LostOnTheTrail
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,934
12
3,220 hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 04:11 AM
  #988
Day one of living carefully is taking its toll.

Every action has to be considered in a way that I haven't needed to for a while.

I'm not good at asking for help, and yet I need to.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
 
Thanks for this!
Lemoncake
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,989 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.3k hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 05:51 AM
  #989
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail View Post
Day one of living carefully is taking its toll.

Every action has to be considered in a way that I haven't needed to for a while.

I'm not good at asking for help, and yet I need to.

Hugs, Lost. Please do your best to ask for what you need. You deserve it.
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LostOnTheTrail
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,450 (SuperPoster!)
10
6,525 hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 09:40 AM
  #990
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail View Post
Day one of living carefully is taking its toll.

Every action has to be considered in a way that I haven't needed to for a while.

I'm not good at asking for help, and yet I need to.
Asking for help can be hard.

And for me, even if I get myself to ask for help, I seem to mess it up by not being clear somehow. Sometimes it's more of a cry for help than directly asking for what I need.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
 
Thanks for this!
LostOnTheTrail
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,450 (SuperPoster!)
10
6,525 hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 09:45 AM
  #991
L tries really hard to not allow any disturbances in session. She tries to remember to shut off her phone. If it does go off, it's usually a reminder alarm. I think one time she left it on for an emergency. I remember one time someone came and knocked at the office. I think it was a colleague. It was the first time I have ever seen her mad. We were sitting in the lobby once at night and someone came in. She got really mad at that too.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LostOnTheTrail
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,934
12
3,220 hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 10:21 AM
  #992
It's great when they protect the space.

I've always been grateful for the way two members of staff at my local cathedral got up when somebody came into the room where we were meeting to talk about my experience of grieving Steve.

It turned out that the person who came in was the interim Dean, and we all had a wonderful conversation.

How I wish I hadn't fallen flat on my face at that service, and then hugged the person who was so supportive to me a few months later.

The spiritual aspect of my grief for Steve is something that I feel I'm only just beginning to unpack with R.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,450 (SuperPoster!)
10
6,525 hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 10:48 AM
  #993
So I've been having problems with my sister ever since my dad moved out. We've been to court for a restraining order against her, there have been a slew of false accusations. Called the police on me for a false wellness check. She's contacted L. And she's contacted H's boss. I guess they have been continually talking... Well, today I guess my sister asked H's boss for a job. Like wtf?!?! And his boss is considering it! And H suggested that his boss give me a job instead? I have no skills for this job. H says he can teach me, but I worry I've wasted my brain so much that it won't be able to learn.

I can believe my sister would stoop so low and harass us that much. But I can't believe H's boss is that dumb. He even told H that we need to forgive my sister. I told H he HAS to find a new job if my sister gets hired.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,934
12
3,220 hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 12:48 PM
  #994
I'm so sorry to hear that Scarlet - what a mess.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
ScarletPimpernel
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,989 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.3k hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 12:52 PM
  #995
Also sorry to hear that, Scarlet. I really hope your husband's employer doesn't hire her...
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
ScarletPimpernel
Lemoncake
Roses are falling.
 
Lemoncake's Avatar
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,816 (SuperPoster!)
7
10.3k hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 03:11 PM
  #996
Quote:
Originally Posted by East17 View Post
Goodness you wouldn't like my T then.... Couch 248: Curiouser and Curiouser

I often have interrupted sessions; the most I ever had in one session was five, and they were all different things (she did apologise and make up the time at the end).

Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk
You’re correct. I would draw the line there with a T today who did that repeatedly , because I thought I deserved to be treated better. The 2016 version of me would have said nothing though. I used to be someone who accepted the bare minimum from people.

__________________

Last edited by Lemoncake; Yesterday at 05:04 PM..
Lemoncake is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
 
Thanks for this!
East17
stopdog
underdog is here
 
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,832 (SuperPoster!)
12
1 hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 05:37 PM
  #997
Interruptions did not bother me. The first woman had it happen a few times. The second one had it happen because of their entry system so almost every appointment had an interruption when her next appt buzzed to be let in the building and sometimes they came quite early to sit in an uncomfortable chair in a building that was really an older house they just blocked off rooms to turn into offices. I refused to go if the first one's dog was there but general interruptions were not a big deal. Different lines for different people. I think I might have liked it better if therapy had been over zoom for me. I hated their offices.

__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
stopdog is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
unaluna
ArtieTheSequal
Writing my way through...
 
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,399 (SuperPoster!)
4
5,858 hugs
given
Default Yesterday at 10:09 PM
  #998
It's storming tonight here, monsoon has apparently arrived. I usually love thunderstorms but tonight it is just making me all melancholy.

Oh yeah we went to a great concert the other night - Robert Cray Band / Doobie Brothers. I'd never heard Robert Cray before, but I totally loved their music!! It was better than the Doobies and I've always liked them. I would have been happy with just the Robert Cray part, they were that good.
ArtieTheSequal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Couch 146 : The Untouchable, Nontotient, Octahedral, Composite Couch. Ellahmae Psychotherapy 966 Jul 14, 2017 07:28 AM
curiouser and curiouser shortandcute Sleep Issues & Dream Interpretation 3 Sep 24, 2013 05:08 PM
curiouser and curiouser dogtanian Personality Place 6 Jun 25, 2006 09:09 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:44 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.