Did my T miss this?

My therapist said she is not a trauma therapist. Not experienced in sexual abuse but she’s mentioned seeing people who have been sexually abused. Maybe that wasn’t the focus of their therapy. I don’t know. Anyway, she does seem very inexperienced. Ever since I was young if I read stories if people being sexually abused or if someone mentioned it may have happened to me I felt very trapped and like I didn’t feel safe in my skin and wanted to escape. I told my therapist about this and she never really said much about it. But I think it seems like it’s an emotional flashback and she missed it or would those just be feelings anyone would have?

I don’t know what your feelings mean for you. I don’t have feelings like that when I read such stories. I’ve found that T’s often don’t respond to things that I say that are really important to me, they sometimes just miss things. It might be worth bringing it up again and telling her you want to discuss it?

What type of feelings do you have?

What was your expectation of her reply when you told T this?
There are more subtle signs of abuse that are looked for over many visits.. Perhaps T isn't jumping the gun and iswatching and listening for the whole picture..

It doesn't necessarily sound like she missed anything per se. Everyone will have different reactions to hearing about this sort of thing. For example, I did experience CSA for almost a decade as a child, but my reaction to hearing about abuse now (or seeing it on TV or movies) is not like your reaction. In fact, for me it can vary from having zero reaction to just feeling sort of numb and blank. I usually don't feel anything in my body whatsoever. On the other hand, my partner (who was not abused) does have strong body reactions to hearing or reading about abuse or violence. That's just to say that everyone is different and you cannot extrapolate that a person was or was not abused from this kind of information alone.

But if you think there's more to this then you should definitely try to let your therapist know. Therapists are just regular people, not mind readers. If you believe you may have been abused then you should tell her that. Even if you just want to talk about how it makes you feel to read about abuse- see if you can tell her that. You don't have to have all the answers first. Therapy should be a place for you to explore this kind of thing and understand your own reactions and feelings.

I’ve had to sit and think about this question. I think that if I read about SA I tend to turn my mind away from it quickly and don’t feel much.

It doesn't matter what reactions other people have. Does it seem more appealing for her to deduce that you were abused rather than you pro-actively telling her? If we haven't been cared for or have been otherwise abused and neglected, someone taking the time to notice and piece together our fragmented experience/self/being can be a really powerful pull. However, in the adult world it will often leave you frustrated because the ultimate responsibility for the work rests with you.

Just jumping in thinking this might or might not be helpful
I would have had strong feelings about stories or real events of people being sexually abused but it is not what you would think or expect, it's a tangled mess of negative stuff that is coming from a deep wound being reopened , rather than an emotional flashback for me. ( I have the flashbacks too but they are also a tangled mess of feelings but in a different way) I do now have words to describe these things but prefer not to post details on the forums. If it would be helpful to you, I am happy to pm

Although I will say that I was always desperate to compare with others as I sought validation and wanted so bad to be relatable and not the liar I always felt I was. But we are all different, our experiences won't be exactly the same and we won't react exactly the same either.

Like you, I often felt that my therapist was missing things, not prodding enough etc. But what I've realised is that therapy is like a circle that we go around and each new trip around we both have more insight and more trust. We are both understanding and discovering more as we revisit each part that we naturally come back around to. I had to learn to trust the process instead of being devastated that she wasn't picking up on the things I was too afraid to completely spell out. I was drawn to my T from day 1 and as a result have always had very strong reactions to her, sometimes these are that I hate her and that she doesn't know what she is doing as a professional (I can devalue her to protect myself)

The only thing I would wonder about though, is what exactly was your T responding to when she said she was not a trauma therapist? If I was you I would want to know specifically why she is saying that. It seems crazy to me that all Ts would not be trauma informed at the least since most people in therapy will have some trauma?? It has never come up with my T. I got the impression that she covers a broad base and is trauma informed but is not a trauma specialist and that has not stopped me from making progress with her even though I have massive trust issues and did not progress at all with several other Ts