[MuddyBoots]

...when you're still getting to know each other?

My first appointment was pretty much crisis management and safety planning. I told her my goals were to...I don't remember. I feel like they should be become more hopeful and get motivated and see a reason to plan for a future.

Anyways, my T knows me well enough to say "this is definitely something Sam would show us" after I printed out a picture from the internet of a cosine wave where a positive value was "horny" and a negative value was "suicidal."

But I feel like there are things I should tell her now after a few sessions that might actually help her beyond my main feelings being wanting sex and wanting to die alternating every five minutes.

I'm going to write shyt down while I am alone and don't feel pressured into saying something I don't think. I may end up going into next session with four pages of dark humor and she'll say I'm coping well and I'll graduate.

[LonesomeTonight]

Well, in your case, one thing you could potentially share is that you tend to cover dark feelings with humor and/or use it as a defense mechanism. I do the same thing--my T has said it's common and that he does it as well. But it could be good to share so that if you seem to be joking around, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're doing OK.

Making a list to share seems like a good idea.

For me personally, something I told my T early on is that I tend to get attached to male authority figures, including therapists. I think he mistakenly thought he'd be immune to it because he's not warm and fuzzy like my male marriage counselor was. He has since very much learned that he is not! But I did warn him.

I think for me, something else important is that I can seem fairly high-functioning, like be getting my work done, etc., but it doesn't mean I'm doing fine mentally.

Possible trigger:

For example, years ago, I got straight A's my first semester of college and also made an attempt partway through.

[divine1966]

Family history. Substance abuse, yours or loved ones. Coping strategies that you use or don’t use. Meds, if any. Health concerns