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atisketatasket
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Default Oct 19, 2024 at 03:12 PM
  #781
I learned just now that a New Zealand airport has limited hug time. To 3 minutes. I consider 30 seconds a long hug. I don’t think I would survive 3.

Airport introduces time limit on hugs | CNN

Even though I feel lousy, I’m glad I got the shots over with. Better to be sick once than three times.
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Default Oct 19, 2024 at 03:15 PM
  #782
I don't think I've ever hugged anybody for three minutes -good god.

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Default Oct 19, 2024 at 04:06 PM
  #783
Things that make us cranky:

3 minute hugs
Shingles

I mean, isnt that a minute more than your usual marriage uh "encounter"?

An thats another thing that makes us cranky!
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Default Oct 19, 2024 at 04:42 PM
  #784
There's a flash from the past- to initiate a three-minute hug daily was first t's first therapy homework assignment to the ex when we started marriage counseling. (Which he did not do then blamed me.)

Mine was to let myself cry in the shower.

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Default Oct 19, 2024 at 06:39 PM
  #785
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post

I mean, isnt that a minute more than your usual marriage uh "encounter"?
Knew you would say this…
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Default Oct 20, 2024 at 07:28 AM
  #786
Couch Workout Club day 79

A short walk around the block this morning due to wind and threatening rain.

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Default Oct 20, 2024 at 08:16 AM
  #787
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Knew you would say this…
Its an oldie but a goodie!
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Default Oct 20, 2024 at 09:29 PM
  #788
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Its an oldie but a goodie!
Unlike an oldie but a baddie: a Yankees-Dodgers World Series. Blech.
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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 06:00 AM
  #789
Couch Workout Club day 80

Some light yoga and a quick walk around town.

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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 06:21 AM
  #790
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Unlike an oldie but a baddie: a Yankees-Dodgers World Series. Blech.

Agreed. H and I are fans of two different teams that both made the playoffs but didn't make it to the World Series (his got further than mine, so I'd have rooted for them). Even if another team that was an underdog had made it, it would have given me someone to root for. But not worth watching now...
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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 11:30 AM
  #791
Forbes said we need 8 hugs a day for maintenance and 12 hugs for growth.

Are You Getting Enough Hugs?

Three mins sounds excessive.

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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 12:26 PM
  #792
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Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
Forbes said we need 8 hugs a day for maintenance and 12 hugs for growth.

Are You Getting Enough Hugs?

Three mins sounds excessive.
I used to quote this all the time. Esp to my t.

But yeah, 3 mins is time to get a room!
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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 12:38 PM
  #793
Who do people hug? Apart from partners, although I rarely hug mine so that's not a given. Is 8 hugs a day from one person realistic? Equally, do people know 2,3,4 people who they would hug multiple times every day? I can't make sense of how this would pan out, never mind for 12 hugs. Oh I just read the article and apparently 4 hugs a day is necessary for survival. Some of us would be driven to absolute distraction by 4 hugs a day. I think Virginia Satir must have had a very particular take on the human condition.
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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 12:58 PM
  #794
I misread that question at first.

I don't think eight hugs a day from one person is realistic.
Some people are extremely touch-averse and would be negatively impacted by hugging to any extent.

I think there are other methods of soothing touch which can suffice when a hug is not readily available or desired.

On especially hard days, I lean into Peter Levine's self-hug technique.

Cross the right arm over the left, until your left hand is almost touching your right shoulder.

Hold the position until you feel a shift.

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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 01:13 PM
  #795
I could see a child receiving 12 hugs a day. 4 at bedtimes and get ups, 4 at meals, then its just 4 at other interactions, like home returns, games, chores, whatever.
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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 01:28 PM
  #796
Oh yes, good point. I had forgotten that children exist.
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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 01:46 PM
  #797
Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo View Post
Who do people hug? Apart from partners, although I rarely hug mine so that's not a given. Is 8 hugs a day from one person realistic? Equally, do people know 2,3,4 people who they would hug multiple times every day? I can't make sense of how this would pan out, never mind for 12 hugs. Oh I just read the article and apparently 4 hugs a day is necessary for survival. Some of us would be driven to absolute distraction by 4 hugs a day. I think Virginia Satir must have had a very particular take on the human condition.

That does seem like an excessive number of hugs. My H and I also rarely hug. And D isn't into hugs. I mean, I'll hug my parents in greeting and leaving when I see them about once a month. Trying to recall how much I hugged as a kid...don't think it was particularly often? Like, not 4 times a day.
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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 02:17 PM
  #798
Touch is my love language, but there's only a couple of people I like it from. The rest I put up with because it's a formality.

I rarely get hugs except for formalities. I get maybe a hug or two a week from H at most. But we do cuddle once or twice a week. I get the most hugs from L: hello and goodbye. But we also hold hands every session.

I know research has shown that touch is extremely important especially to babies and to elderly. But we often forget it's important for adults too. But a specific number of hugs... I couldn't and wouldn't want it.

There used to be hug clinics? where you could go and hug or cuddle with a person. I wouldn't do massages from a stranger let alone get a hug or cuddle!

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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 02:37 PM
  #799
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Oh yes, good point. I had forgotten that children exist.
Your a comedian. You say things funny.

A comic OTOH says funny things.
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Default Oct 21, 2024 at 03:55 PM
  #800
It's funny that I was just thinking that my therapist must hate me because the last thing I wrote to him in my journal was about this impending last session hug. Then I open up the Couch and you're talking about hugs.

He probably doesn't hate me. It's just that he's on vacation this week and writing about the hug thing felt very vulnerable to me. He might think I'm a weirdo though. I had a list of about 5 concerns I had about the hug including that I'd seriously regret not hugging him and that I don't think I can hug him because of shame. Talk about conflicting feelings.

If 4 hugs a day were required for survival, I'd have been dead long ago. I think I've had one hug this year.
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