Couch 250: An August Couch

It's entirely possible and could be worth looking into. There are many different elements to how we understand things, such as spatial ability or reading comprehension. Plus things like processing speed and working memory (I know some of this from my D having various assessments).

For example, my mom is great with numbers (used to work as a bookkeeper), but she can't read a map or reverse directions at al (like figure out how to get home from somewhere new).

Though as Lemon said, if it was at all math-related, they've changed how they teach that. I've tried reading about it and was still confused--and I used to be really good at math in school!

I emailed my therapist about seeing her on Halloween. She acknowledged the disruption, spoke about boundaries and proximity being an important part of our work. Pretty standard response. However, I still feel really disturbed by the whole thing and I can't really understand why. It feels like it has tapped into something much more core than simply seeing her. I have seen her in the village before and whilst I haven't liked it, it hasn't been upsetting and I haven't felt the need to mention it to her.

The sense I am making of it - sessions have just recommenced after a three week break. Coming back into contact is difficult for me in my process. Then I see her in the village and I feel intruded upon. Whilst reasonably, I know she is not doing anything wrong, I feel enraged. If she had knocked at my door, I would have just had to accept the disruption because that is the nature of sharing public space. I think this is key - my feeling of having to grit my teeth and tolerate the other person coming into my sphere. This is linked to my experiences of childhood sexual abuse. The formative experience of having my boundaries violated now means I can't tolerate anyone at my boundary. It feels like a violation, even if it is actually a normal and reasonable action.

I don't know. Maybe this is all an over complication. I am finding it hard to make sense of my strong reaction. My strong reaction itself tells me that it is about more than seeing her in the village.

Can anyone relate to any of this? I am feeling ridiculous and sad and isolated.

I emailed my therapist about seeing her on Halloween. She acknowledged the disruption, spoke about boundaries and proximity being an important part of our work. Pretty standard response. However, I still feel really disturbed by the whole thing and I can't really understand why. It feels like it has tapped into something much more core than simply seeing her. I have seen her in the village before and whilst I haven't liked it, it hasn't been upsetting and I haven't felt the need to mention it to her.

The sense I am making of it - sessions have just recommenced after a three week break. Coming back into contact is difficult for me in my process. Then I see her in the village and I feel intruded upon. Whilst reasonably, I know she is not doing anything wrong, I feel enraged. If she had knocked at my door, I would have just had to accept the disruption because that is the nature of sharing public space. I think this is key - my feeling of having to grit my teeth and tolerate the other person coming into my sphere. This is linked to my experiences of childhood sexual abuse. The formative experience of having my boundaries violated now means I can't tolerate anyone at my boundary. It feels like a violation, even if it is actually a normal and reasonable action.

I don't know. Maybe this is all an over complication. I am finding it hard to make sense of my strong reaction. My strong reaction itself tells me that it is about more than seeing her in the village.

Can anyone relate to any of this? I am feeling ridiculous and sad and isolated.

Thank you Lemon. You always have wise words.

In other news..My husband and I just got into a big fight and he stormed out. Probably just ended up going to his sisters. That’s where he runs when we have a really big blow up. He called me the B word and I told him to go F himself.

My son turned 26 today, and I got to talk to him on the phone for a little bit this afternoon. I do wish he'd moved closer to us... but I get it. He never liked the desert, and he and his gf are so much happier up north. I can't wait to see him when they come for a visit in early February! We invited them to stay with us while they're here to save a little $$ but I doubt they will. We'll see. It was so good talking with him today. He's never been a big phone talker, he prefers to text like all the young whippersnappers haha.

It’s doesn’t help that I think people think I’m an idiot when I’m interacting with them.

I got a letter from my insurance this week that they wanted to change my beta-blocker away from what ive been taking like since it was effing invented!!! I researched it more - looked it up on next years formulary. Its gonna cost me like $25 a month instead of zero, to stay with the old med. I can handle that. Im glad i figured it out. But geez you hafta be fairly computer literate to take care of yourself nowadays. As well as medically literate. My old med wasnt in the index, but it was in the formulary. Tricky richards!

I gotta say, i have never gotten that vibe from you, and i am pretty judgmental about it. Altho i try to be nice, but apparently i have an eyebrow that gives me away and tells people what im thinking.

As for the math homework, they really do teach carp different now. I was helping a neighbor's kid and i was like wtf is this, the kid just blew me off! And i got my degree in math, so... i did not appreciate her telling me i didnt understand it! Whippersnapper. Which is old lady talk for lil brat.

In other news..My husband and I just got into a big fight and he stormed out. Probably just ended up going to his sisters. That’s where he runs when we have a really big blow up. He called me the B word and I told him to go F himself.

*curls up on Couch, whimpers*

There's nothing that will make me clam up at a meeting that's usually one to one faster than 'There'll be a few others joining us tonight.'

When the facilitator said 'Anything you want to share, Lost?' I just shook my head.

I had so much to share, but couldn't go through the whole scenario again.

Choosing not to talk leads to my nightmare scenario - crying in front of strangers on Zoom.

I broke down four times in all, and this facilitator has never seen me cry.

I'd like to try and book another session, but there are no guarantees...plus I'd feel weird trying to explain what happened.