Couch 250: An August Couch

LostOnTheTrail · Sep 16, 2024 at 03:29 PM

*curls up on the Couch, whimpers*

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 16, 2024 at 06:24 PM

Hugs, Lost.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 16, 2024 at 06:33 PM

Well I'm doing laundry and starting the packing process for my trip back to Missouri, I leave Wednesday morning. I'll be there 5 nights, seems long to me, but my mom was all "you're not staying long enough." I'm thinking to myself um yes I am. Ha.

NP_Complete · Sep 16, 2024 at 07:38 PM

Learned today that P is definitely moving sometime in the new year, probably Jan. I don't know when he's giving up the lease on his office. He says we can probably do video sessions once a week but I don't know what the end goal is except maybe to have a good ending? Video is NOT the same as in person. I feel numb. I'm not sure what the future looks like. I think I still need a therapist. Maybe I don't. I don't know. This sucks.

LostOnTheTrail · Sep 17, 2024 at 04:20 AM

I am so sorry, NP.

Even though you knew it was coming, it doesn't make it any easier.

Video is very different than in person therapy.
It is courageous of you to recognise that you still need support, and I hope you can find a way to get that support in person.

Standing with you in the suck,

Lost

LonesomeTonight · Sep 17, 2024 at 07:13 AM

Hugs, Lost...

LonesomeTonight · Sep 17, 2024 at 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Learned today that P is definitely moving sometime in the new year, probably Jan. I don't know when he's giving up the lease on his office. He says we can probably do video sessions once a week but I don't know what the end goal is except maybe to have a good ending? Video is NOT the same as in person. I feel numb. I'm not sure what the future looks like. I think I still need a therapist. Maybe I don't. I don't know. This sucks.

Oh, I'm so sorry, NP. Hugs, if wanted. Is he moving out of state? Or to a place too far for you to meet in person? I hope he at least keeps the lease through the end of the year.

I agree that video isn't the same. I imagine it could help provide a bit of support. Maybe you could try looking into other therapists now, see what your options are? I know you'd rather be with P. Not sure how it would work financially, if you're using insurance, but maybe you could see P by video once a week and another therapist in person once a week for a bit?

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 17, 2024 at 08:14 AM

I'm sorry, NP. Sending hugs if wanted.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 17, 2024 at 08:16 AM

I've been feeling sad the last couple days for no discernable reason. Don't know what to do with myself. I shouldn't be sad. Tomorrow at this time I'll be on the way to the airport, so ready for this trip and spending time with my sisters. I've no reason to be feeling so down. I don't get it.

LostOnTheTrail · Sep 17, 2024 at 08:54 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling sad, Artie.

Perhaps there's a writing prompt in there somewhere?

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 17, 2024 at 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

I'm sorry you're feeling sad, Artie.

Perhaps there's a writing prompt in there somewhere?

Thanks, Lost. Yes, I think there is. I don't feel much like working today so I'm going to see if I can write it out a bit.

unaluna · Sep 17, 2024 at 10:40 AM

TIL Murder She Wrote had an episode set at the Bates mansion. Oh Jessica!

NP_Complete · Sep 17, 2024 at 10:43 AM

Yes, he's moving one state over to teach and be a psychologist prescriber too I guess. He plans on keeping one day a week for private practice and keeping his licensure in our state. I don't know what my plan is for therapy. I'm seeing a guy for meds and talk with him. He's nice but I'm not sure I want him to be my regular therapist or not.

I think the idea is starting to sink in and I'm feeling stressed this morning. We're going to continue our back and forth journaling so at least I'll have something tangible to hold on to. We're continuing the 'love' discussion that I talked about in my other thread. I think we're slowly beginning to understand each other on the topic. But it also kind of feels like what's the point. He's just leaving anyway.

Lemoncake · Sep 17, 2024 at 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

I've been feeling sad the last couple days for no discernable reason. Don't know what to do with myself. I shouldn't be sad. Tomorrow at this time I'll be on the way to the airport, so ready for this trip and spending time with my sisters. I've no reason to be feeling so down. I don't get it.

From a Buddhist talk I listened to once, you add double suffering when you say you shouldn’t feel a certain way when you already do. . You feel sadness. Sometimes you might not have a why it’s still there though. Journal and from just staying still and you might realise it.

Lemoncake · Sep 17, 2024 at 02:05 PM

It sounds like a lot of transitions are happening at once, which could definitely add to the stress. Even though you're building some understanding in your journaling, it makes sense that the uncertainty of the future might make it feel bittersweet.

If you closed your eyes and asked yourself if you felt more inclined to stay or leave, what would be the answer.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 17, 2024 at 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

From a Buddhist talk I listened to once, you add double suffering when you say you shouldn’t feel a certain way when you already do. . You feel sadness. Sometimes you might not have a why it’s still there though. Journal and from just staying still and you might realise it.

Thanks Lemon. I started writing a poem earlier and it very quickly began to be about how I thought I would feel a certain way about something but I don't. It did help identify a little bit where the sadness is coming from. The poem needs more work but at least it took my mind off feeling sad and I'm able to focus on work again. On break now. I'll get back to the poem after work. Then I have to finish packing, cuz I leave for Missouri tomorrow morning.

Huh, maybe I'm also already feeling a little pre-sadness at having to leave my sister's next week. Stupid as I'm not even there yet. I'm such a dumdum.

unaluna · Sep 17, 2024 at 03:19 PM

Yahbbut all kids love Dumdums!

unaluna · Sep 17, 2024 at 03:20 PM

unaluna · Sep 17, 2024 at 03:25 PM

Groceries delivered and put up. I got a veggie tray today - ooh the smell of the red pepper was hypnotic! Tis the seasson! I organized a few other things, and now i need a nap!

LostOnTheTrail · Sep 17, 2024 at 03:50 PM

*curls up on Couch, whimpers*

The hosts of one of my grief podcasts just opened a new membership community.

The platform they're using is the same place that I originally joined thanks to Steve, who hosted his online community there for a while.

He made it so that I didn't have to pay for membership, and then made me a moderator within the community.

I signed up for an art class a while ago but didn't participate in the online community there for griefquake reasons.

I'd forgotten that I already had an account on the site.

I'd like to think the Good Mourning crew will keep the FB group, but I don't know...and I feel weird asking, because I then have to explain.

*insert all the expletives*

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Couch 250: An August Couch

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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,593 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,006 hugs given	Sep 16, 2024 at 06:24 PM #422 Hugs, Lost.
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,593 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,006 hugs given	Sep 16, 2024 at 06:33 PM #423 Well I'm doing laundry and starting the packing process for my trip back to Missouri, I leave Wednesday morning. I'll be there 5 nights, seems long to me, but my mom was all "you're not staying long enough." I'm thinking to myself um yes I am. Ha.
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 21,608 (SuperPoster!) 9 76.2k hugs given	Sep 17, 2024 at 07:13 AM #426 Hugs, Lost...
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,593 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,006 hugs given	Sep 17, 2024 at 08:14 AM #428 I'm sorry, NP. Sending hugs if wanted.
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert of my soul Posts: 7,593 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,006 hugs given	Sep 17, 2024 at 08:16 AM #429 I've been feeling sad the last couple days for no discernable reason. Don't know what to do with myself. I shouldn't be sad. Tomorrow at this time I'll be on the way to the airport, so ready for this trip and spending time with my sisters. I've no reason to be feeling so down. I don't get it.
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,930 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.8k hugs given	Sep 17, 2024 at 10:40 AM #432 TIL Murder She Wrote had an episode set at the Bates mansion. Oh Jessica!
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,930 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.8k hugs given	Sep 17, 2024 at 03:19 PM #437 Yahbbut all kids love Dumdums!
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,930 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.8k hugs given	Sep 17, 2024 at 03:20 PM #438
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,930 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.8k hugs given	Sep 17, 2024 at 03:25 PM #439 Groceries delivered and put up. I got a veggie tray today - ooh the smell of the red pepper was hypnotic! Tis the seasson! I organized a few other things, and now i need a nap!
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