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Member
Member Since May 2013
Posts: 258
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Aug 27, 2024 at 08:15 PM
#1
My therapist told me I am reassurance seeking and after looking up exactly what that is, I think he's right (he hasn't connected it to OCD but to me it lines up with my other behaviors).
I know what my thoughts are and how absolutely crazy they make me, so I can only imagine that he is tired of the repetition of the same anxieties that I have every single session. I don't necessarily want to censor my thoughts during our sessions because I guess I need to work through them, but I also feel bad because he's having to hear me talk about the same things over and over again and me still not accepting it. I'm starting to feel trapped because a lot of research I've looked at says that therapists should not reinforce reassurance seeking in therapy. But talking to my T decreases my anxiety (even only for a little while, but it still helps) which is connected to reassurance. So now, I feel like I'm going to be anxiety ridden for the rest of my life. I don't know what to do in therapy now and if my anxiety is going to be like this all my life, I'm not going to make it. |
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 LonesomeTonight, mote.of.soul, ScarletPimpernel
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Member
Member Since Sep 2022
Location: Eire
Posts: 182
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Aug 28, 2024 at 01:50 AM
#2
Depending on how good your T is you won't... I remember whrn I begun my therapy journey expressing my fear I'd never feel like a grown up...and of course wanted to be "looked after"... We managed to work through those feelings over the years..
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,741
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Aug 28, 2024 at 08:59 AM
#3
I'm not sure if it's the same because I don't have OCD, but I am reassurance seeking with my therapist. And she actually encourages it, to test reality. It has mostly gotten better over time, like I'm usually no longer afraid of her leaving me. I still ask if she's mad or if we're okay. I'm also learning to ask for what I need (I need care, I need help) instead of asking if she cares or accusing her of not caring. It takes time to work through our issues, reassurance seeking as well.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,618
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Aug 28, 2024 at 10:28 AM
#4
I'm very much reassurance seeking with my therapist. I also have OCD, and I was recently reading about "reassurance OCD," so I'm wondering if that's part of it? I also seek reassurance from my husband, who isn't the best at giving it--he just tends to get annoyed with me. My therapist can seem annoyed at times, too. So you're not alone.
I would tell your therapist what you said here. Maybe even print out what you said and hand it to him (or email, if you meet virtually). |
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,050
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Aug 28, 2024 at 10:42 AM
#5
I hope therapy helps with the constant need for reassurance. I have students who do this and we have to get them past it or hopefully they get outside help because others simply can't give enough reassurance and it seems like whenever they get a little bit of it they just want more- it's never satisfied. And I admit I get annoyed by it.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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