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Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 432
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#141
It really seems like she just isn’t able to provide the care that she used to. It’s like she doesn’t want to take anything away but she can’t keep up so she keeps messing up and hurting you. It must feel like you can’t trust what she says anymore?
I really hope your pdoc can find you a new therapist, even if it’s just for a while |
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InkyBooky, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Location: US
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#142
Is she doing all these texts reading and responding on her own time? It seems like a lot. Not sure why she makes these promises. Does she have other clients? Even if you are her only client, that’s just a lot to remember and keep up.
You aren’t wrong for asking her for things, but if it’s too much for her, she shouldn't make promises. I really think you need a therapist with firmer boundaries. She shares way too much and makes these unrealistic strange promises (like promises not to get pregnant what the heck) but then it’s just inevitable that no one can keep this going, so you get hurt at the end. She means well but no one can keep this up I’d rely on your pdoc to find you a better fit t. |
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ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#143
Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sorry. It is really difficult when they offer to provide something, then don't follow through. It seems like she's promising more than she can provide, which isn't fair to you. I don't know what the answer could be. Possibly for her to check in at some point within 24 hours? I don't know.
I know for me, Dr. T pretty much always replies to emails in the mornings, generally between 7 and 9 am (and he says this, that he will reply to client emails each morning). Recently, there was a time when I emailed the night before and hadn't heard anything back by around 11 am the next morning. I realized maybe it wasn't clear I wanted a reply, so sent an email clarifying that and saying that if it was that he was busy, a reply the next morning was fine, to just let me know. He responded within an hour, apologizing that he'd been to busy, but would reply that night. I knew not to expect that. He didn't reply that night, though did reply the next morning. I'd have preferred if he'd just said "I'll get back to you by tomorrow" instead of saying he'd respond that evening. I did ultimately talk to him about this yesterday, saying that if he knew he couldn't get back to me in the normal timeline, could he possibly just send a very brief email or text, like, "Busy, sorry, will reply when I can." Just to acknowledge it. He said he could do that. I know that might not work in the situation with L, if it's a case where she might intend to text in the evening but falls asleep, say. But maybe you can figure something else out? That she'd then send you a "good morning" text, say? I don't know. |
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ScarletPimpernel
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Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
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#144
Thanks everyone. Technically, they are not promises. They are intentions and expectations. Least that's the words we use.
She just broke another expectation right now. Our agreement is for her to reply to any communication (except time specific like the goodnight texts) before noon the next day. If she can't, she simply tells me before noon that she can't, but when I might expect it. We had three email threads going yesterday. And I added one more. So I responded to 4 emails before midnight. The expectation is I'd at least hear something back from her even if her response needs to be delayed. I know that's a lot of email threads (even for us!), but I have heard nothing. Not one thing. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
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#145
Quote:
Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sorry. It would be good if she could at least send, say, a few words (literally) saying she can't reply yet. Sounds like you unfortunately need to discuss and renegotiate so that you aren't left waiting and disappointed. It's not fair to you. |
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