Wish you were my mother

I don’t know what’s going on. I have been seeing my therapist for years. Not sure how many. We have made some huge progress lately. I have learnt stuff about myself. Sometimes she will mention her daughters and it has started to affect me. Occasionally I have to take my toddler to a session which is a nightmare but seeing her with my daughter has triggered in me that I wish she was my mother. I told her this in an email the other day and she was great about it and didn’t freak out. I don’t think she knew how hard it was to write. I don’t know why this happened or what to do about it. Should I leave therapy with her and see a new therapist? I don’t have another appointment for a few weeks.

Any advice?

I think it is quite common for clients to wish the therapist was their mother/father. Transference is a word for it and I would think most therapists are familiar with the concept and can handle it.

Not so much wishing T was the mother more that the light is shining on the mother we didn't have

I wish L was my mother... or at least I did. It's not uncommon especially when you've developed a long-term relationship with a therapist. I don't think you need to leave. Instead, try to work with it.

Why would you leave this therapist?

What if you experience similar feelings with the next therapist - would you leave them too?

And the one after that?

It may be more beneficial to explore those emerging feelings with your therapist, rather than running away from them and from her.

In a way, I think I should stick it out and resolve whatever Stuff in my mind makes me turn towards women who are older than myself. This is the second time transference has come up. The other time was When I was in my late teens and I saw a therapist then. She dealt with it very well. She was very sensitive. She understood where I was coming from obviously I don’t want to be my therapist daughter but it made me so jealous when she talked about her daughters And when I’ve had to take my daughters with me, she has always treated them kindly and nurturing.

She mentioned to me that maybe I should see someone different if I wanted to. Which I don’t know if I do want to, if I did, I would probably see a man since I couldn’t have maternal transference with him. But she was taking this advice from an email where I said I felt like stopping therapy. I didn’t say I wanted to see someone different. I just am so tired of it. I’ve been seeing her for quite a long time now she’s not always the best therapist I think she could use some training with how to deal with some of this stuff. Also, when I saw her she looked as though she had tears in the corner of her eyes and that made me feel like maybe I shouldn’t push things too far today because she already looks stressed.

Anyway There is an update for you all. I had trouble getting into my account so the update has come a bit later.

Some of us find Mother or Father figures as we go through life. I've had a few. And then one day, I was shocked to realize that I've been a Father figure for others.