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pixiedust72
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Default Sep 12, 2024 at 06:03 PM
  #1
Going through a bit of a rift with my therapist.

For background, I had multiple hospitalizations and an aborted suicide attempt last year. I deal with depression and more recently anxiety. I have seen my therapist for over a year now.

In our last session, my therapist let me know that because I was making progress we would be going down to biweekly (every other week) sessions. Ok. I am totally fine with this. But in the session when she told me this I had a complete breakdown. I said that it was probably due to other stuff coming up and not necessarily because of her decision to reduce sessions. I am sad that we have less time together as I’m moving in January anyway (out of state). I find myself being really angry with my therapist and not feeling as close to her anymore. I’ve loved our time together but I feel both judged and punished for doing better. I was really starting to feel happy when I did weekly therapy. Now my depression is coming back. I feel like I said or did the wrong thing and therefore caused her to believe I didn’t need therapy as much anymore. I also have a very stressful job and it can be hard to handle especially without a therapist. It rubbed me the wrong way too that she said that I was having this reaction because I get triggered when someone sets a boundary with me. I don’t think that’s quite a fair comment to make and even if it’s true I feel there are more delicate ways to approach that conversation. Overall the past couple sessions have just made me feel horrible about myself and I’m wondering if I should just quit therapy altogether. I don’t feel that my therapy work is done but I feel like maybe my therapist has taken me as far as she can. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Default Sep 12, 2024 at 08:12 PM
  #2
I can totally relate to starting to feel better and then have people withdraw their support thinking I don't need as much. The truth is, I got better with the support and take it away, I'll likely revert. This happened to me in college. It was probably the most functional I have ever been: job, school, relationship, friendships, counselors, therapist. And then they all started to pull back, sadly, at the same time. And my world slowly collapsed.

I would talk to your T. For one, you need the support and it won't be for long because you're moving, correct? Plus, it doesn't sound like a boundary to me. It sounds like she's using the word "boundary" to tell you to not question her decision. That's not necessarily a boundary.

I see three options: deal with the bi-weekly, challenge her decision, or leave. No one here can tell you what's best. Even I don't know what's best for my own situation! But I would think at least expressing yourself to her might be worth it? Then you won't be wondering "what if?"

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Default Sep 14, 2024 at 09:19 AM
  #3
I feel like how often you have sessions should be a collaborative decision between the therapist and client. I would probably have the urge to pull away as well if my therapist had done this to me. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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Default Sep 17, 2024 at 11:55 AM
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That is so hurtful and cold and I would be really upset too. I can’t understand why therapists do things like this. It doesn’t sound like a boundary to me, more like her making decisions and using that power over you instead of working with you. I love how Scarlet put it with the 3 options
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Default Sep 18, 2024 at 12:20 PM
  #5
This isn't a boundary issue.

Reducing the frequency of sessions should always be primarily the client's decision, made in partnership with the therapist. A T should never unilaterally decide what is best for the client. If you want to keep working with this therapist, then you need to challenge her on it; but it doesn't sounds as though this T has your best interests at heart.

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