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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,743
(SuperPoster!)
11 7,263 hugs
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Nov 15, 2024 at 06:46 PM
#101
Well, I'm going to try. My heart might be bleeding all over this, but it's also my desire.
Here's my goal for her blanket (no guarantees!): __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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 LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,619
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9 76.2k hugs
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Nov 15, 2024 at 07:31 PM
#102
Quote:
Hugs, Scarlet... |
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 ScarletPimpernel
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,605
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,020 hugs
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Nov 15, 2024 at 08:02 PM
#103
Sending safe hugs, Scarlet.
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ScarletPimpernel
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2024
Location: In the abyss
Posts: 4
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Nov 15, 2024 at 10:02 PM
#104
Hugs, I’m so sorry this is so painful for you, Scarlett.
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ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,743
(SuperPoster!)
11 7,263 hugs
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Yesterday at 07:26 PM
#105
Finding out it's a girl hit me on so many levels. 1.The grief that I can never have my dream of having a little girl. 2. It broke the fantasy that I could be L's little girl. Now she'll have a real daughter. I know. #2 is probably pathetic. But it's truth. I had a in-person and phone session with her Friday where I just broke down in grief. Those two things are my deepest issues: never being a mom and never having a loving mom. L thinks it's finally time to work on these two things. Maybe she's right. And maybe she is the right person to do this work with. But I need to forgive her in order to trust her. How do I do that? Just choose to? Or just commit without complete closure?
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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| ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,974
(SuperPoster!)
13 68.9k hugs
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Yesterday at 09:03 PM
#106
Thats why they say its a process. If you want to acquire a skill, you have to recommit to practicing it. Trust isnt a decision - its acquired in the doing.
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LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,743
(SuperPoster!)
11 7,263 hugs
given
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Yesterday at 10:00 PM
#107
Una, I think I'm understanding. In order to trust, I have to go through it, not sit back and wait for it to miraculously happen.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica Last edited by ScarletPimpernel; Yesterday at 11:36 PM.. |
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| LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, unaluna
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LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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Human Feeling
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,456
13 3,540 hugs
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Today at 04:23 AM
#108
I'm so sorry, Scarlet.
As you said to me a few days ago, 'Your feelings are valid.' Now that L is going to have a daughter, reality has set in for you...and that is hard. I hope you can find a way to trust L that feels comfortable for you. Hugs, Lost __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| LonesomeTonight
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,974
(SuperPoster!)
13 68.9k hugs
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Today at 04:41 AM
#109
Quote:
I keep thinking, here at 430 in the morning, trust is like singing a song. You commit to singing it, but then you actually sing it. |
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LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,840
5
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Today at 10:41 AM
#110
Also, trust is not a singular or absolute experience. For example, you might trust her to observe confidentiality, but you might not trust her to observe another kind of boundary. Or, a part of you might trust her solidity and another part might experience her as unstable. I find that sifting through these nuances and contradictions can be really illuminating, to look in detail about the meaning and sense (including felt sense) of things.
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